I could lose my new house what can I do please help

Sarahsaver

At least he is 'fessing up to misdemeanours. My mum kept on telling us 'everything's fine' until a reposession notice landed on the doorstep. Once you have dug yourself into a hole with money trouble it can be hard to get out, especially as many people with money worries have lied to the most important person - themselves!

dubgirl

I too hope that OP can get plenty of help, but cant help thinking that he wont begin to sort out his debts etc until he is entirely honest with himself and I know that being honest is probably the hardest first step you can take and I hope he is feeling strong enough to post his complete SOA.

PS SLG - there is nothing wrong with admitting that you've made mistakes and are also feeling scared by all of this, we have probably all felt like that at some time in our debt journey.

MissKJ

Interesting thread. I admit, I am naturally suspicious by nature, But I prefer to look for positives.

Is there perhaps an issue with image (self or otherwise).Trying to keep up an image with others is hard for some to let go of. You know, the guy who has the nice car, nice house, trips abroad, but doesn't face up when income is exceeded? Or the fact that a full SOA is harsh reality, and upsetting? Or perhaps never had to budget before?

I think we need to help and support SLG when he is ready for it. There can be no benefit for him in us conversing with his friend. This just satisfies OUR curiosity. This forum is of no use to him until he embraces it himself. If he doesn't feel the need to contribute, and doesn't read and get any help from it, perhaps it is not his time yet? Perhaps he has not had a true, full voltage LBM yet? :question:

pania

definately miss kj, I think his issue may be that he has finally got his wife and child the sort of life that he wanted them to have, away from south london, and is terrified that they have to go back to that life.

I think the SOA can be VERY scary for people, I know it was for me the first time i had to do one, and i think if youve never budgetted before it can be a hard thing to do. I'd never previously considered birthdays and things.

We'll just have to wait for slg to come back to us and take it from there with ENCOURAGEMENT not harshness.

mouseclick

Hi all, I didn't expect to see so many messages after I decided to shut up!

Well, they say you can drag a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink. With SLG I showed him where the water was and came her by himself (with a bit of persuasion and the fear of him losing his house), but he hasn't really dipped his nose in yet. The rest is up to him now, entirely.

It was my mistake about the SOA, I told him to post what he had written down. I skip read this forum and did not realise such a full statement was needed. Thanks to those who offered him help in preparing a proper one, I have offered help too (now I know what's needed).

Anyway it's up to SLG. I told him tonight that if he earns 2K am month that it will take him more than 10 years to repay his 1/4 million debt, and that doesn't include interest or feeding his family!

:beer:

PS I have learned some stuff here, it's a really good forum this

GettingThingsDone

Good stuff mouseclick - hope you told SLG to come back

amani_2

Hi SLG hows things? Are you starting the new job tomorrow?

mouseclick

GettingThingsDone wrote: »

Good stuff mouseclick - hope you told SLG to come back

Yes I have asked SLG to come back but he says he is "chillin out" prior to his new job. I think he has lost interest because he sees the new job as the solution to his problems. I am sure it is NOT because he has taken offence by what anyone has said.

The job was a good break for him. I said "lucky", but as he correctly points out it was more down to his efforts in trying to find work than luck. His job will certainly help, but I think he would do much better to get advice here to help improve his standards. I am so convinced, I have started a thread for myself, as you know, even though my situation is far from desperate. I am doing that as an sort of advanced insurance, because I would rather not get into a tricky situation in the first place, cos you never know what's round the corner. And as I mentioned, there is always something to learn, now I know what snowballing is, hehe!

Anyway no point in me telling SLG any more, he is a law unto himself! Who knows though, he may come back, perhaps after a week, perhaps when the next crisis hits, whatever that may be!

pania

love the image mouseclick!! Is fantastic!! It sounds to me asthough SLG is to scared to face the issue and hasn't yet had his full lightbulb moment!! he will, it will hit home at some point and he will realise what he needs to do. of course we will all be here when he decides he needs us, no hurry. xx

amani_2

Again I agree with pania sounds like SLG has not yet has his full lightbublb moment. As mouseclick says he thinks this new job is the solution. I hope he sorts it out and keeps his house, but I think he will be back. Even with the new job he will still find it a struggle.

Amani xxx