Feeling down about inability to afford what children want/need...

Towser

There are budgets and then there are budgets.

I am sure there are very strict rules for budgets the children need.

Our school relies heavily on the PTA for the "nice things" such as new chairs, fencing, computers ect. Nice stationary.

Our school definitely makes the most of "pester power". So on the face of it I don't deny my child anything but anything behind the scenes payments my child would not know about I refuse to pay.

The school knows it has a captive market. We are all sitting ducks for anything the school throws our way. What my child doesn't know won't hurt them so I refuse to pay some stuff. Especially when my child is not being looked after properly. eg lost property, when the school finds missing item they can have a payment ect. It's a nasty business but I have found the school so powerful I have clawed some power back.

nwc389

I would definitely contact the school about the issues you have mentioned , you certainly won't be the only person feeling this way !
As you have mentioned for next year look into ways of putting some savings aside towards the cost of Christmas , try to find something that is easy to get small amounts in but not too easy or tempting to get at through the year. I used to do a one year regular saver but you really need to start it in the autumn to get the money for Christmas.

mrsHall2b

dresses outdrown from last year, stick a pair of leggings under (obviously only works if theyve only grown out of them length ways) plain black leggings are £2-3 in most supermarkets get a bit of fabric glue and some diamontes, or a bow and decorate the bottoms of the leggings. turn trousers/jeans which have been out grown into a skirt or pretty shorts, again use diamontes/bows etc around the bottom if like me you cant cut in a straight line.. scuffs on black shoes colour in with black sharpie, or if they have already been replaced cover them in fabric or strong glue and roll them in glitter covers marks, looks like totally shoes, saves throwing them away.

Spendless

Guessing this is Primary school? I used to find there were 3 dates in the calendar where lots of requests used to come from school, in September, Christmas and to a slightly less extent Easter. Once I worked this out I used to budget accordingly for these times of being asked for extras. Don't be afraid to say No to some requests. I used to avoid the sponsored events as much as possible as I didn't want to ask the same friends/family for money each time and I wasn't making up the amount given as I contributed to everything else.

Jollymum

I work in a school and we try our best not to ask too much of parents, eg a member of staff suggested we do Xmas jumper day and ask for donations. I pointed out not every child has a Christmas jumper and it's not fair expecting parents to buy one, in the end we said contribute if you wish and wear any Christmas item, woolly hats, antlers, a bit of tinsel. All the children joined in we only had donations of £10 but it didn't matter the kids had a good time and no one was left out.
I would say though don't assume that everyone donates because they don't , other families aren't aware and no one thinks any worse of people that don't donate. My son is in school and we don't always join in, we can't afford it. Also, whenever we have school discos and parties kids do not even notice what each other are wearing they are too giddy

ahw23

I'm glad the immediate issue seems to have been solved. If you're now working on avoiding a bumpy patch next Christmas, then I would seriously recommend (if possible) looking for one or two things in the January sales. Seasonal things that aren't particularly expensive to start with (like wrapping paper and sparkly tights) somehow slip under most people's radar and we have had stunning bargains from Wilko & John Lewis (free click & collect) this way, including 50p for a large gingerbread house kit with about 11 Christmas cookie cutters that got stashed in our present box until the next year.
On a different note, I'm really glad that people do discuss these things on MSE- our son hasn't started school yet, so it's good to have a heads-up of where and when likely expenses will be.