Social Services say i need to quit job

Sncjw

Don't go all guns blazing ith them nor just let them walk over you, you need to be careful and try and work with them. Maybe get family alongside you to help support you

topaztiger1983

I do have family close by, my sister & her partner, & my mum, step-father, nan & 2 brothers live in the same town & my dad & step-mother live in the next town so quite a bit of support

duchy

I think you need to have a full meeting with both of you there - can you not swop shifts so you can attend the meeting ?

topaztiger1983

Hopefully she is ringing us tomorrow so we can arrange a meeting, so we will see how it goes

patman99

Make sure to record the meeting (and every meeting thereafter) but inform the SS worker you are doing this as a record of what has been said so you can listern back to it in case there is something you might have missed.

It is not unknown for SS to fabricate stuff when they are trying to build a case to remove a child, so recording each and every meeting could proove them wrong if they do try to lie.

emsywoo123

topaztiger1983 wrote: »

Hopefully she is ringing us tomorrow so we can arrange a meeting, so we will see how it goes

Sorry if I have missed this, but how many weeks pregnant is she? You come across as quite laid back about this?........

topaztiger1983

She is 31 weeks, I am not laid back, just see no point in getting too flustered and angry as it won't help anyone

Sncjw

And they are only telling you this now. Have they done assessments prior to this. Also given the 31 weeks they should have been more involved sooner

topaztiger1983

They have not done any assessments yet, just looked at the prior reports from the involvement with our son & made the decision based on that

Anyway I have spoken to SW myself today & have a better understanding of what they want now

They are saying that they want me to give up work temporary (6 months - 1 year), after which they will have a better understanding of what my partner can & can't do

They want us to go into a 6 week parent & child placement with our daughter to see what support we need, if any

They have said that in 6 months - 1 year, I should be able to go back to work using daycare or family to support my partner

skylight

Did you re-arrange the meeting?

Do not allow your OH to go alone; you need to show a united front to SS and you both have to PROVE to them that things are very different now. I would also recommend that you take along a competent relative or friend; someone who is slightly detached from the situation and can make sense of these things.

From the sounds of things with your talking to them, they are trying to work with you and your OH. SS do not want to take kids away, they would rather they stayed with you, but they have a priority to ensure the child is happy and safe and that oversees everything they do. Therefore, you have to prove to them that things are different. Offer to attend parenting classes, go part-time (does your OH claim DLA etc, as part time could mess things up with tax credits etc), get family in as back-up.

I speak from the experience of having had one grandchild placed with me and another after that removed from mum for adoption.