Flatmate Drama

Southernman

I've owned my flat for several years and always had someone in my spare room to help out with bills.

More recently a friend of mine who i met at university has lived there for 2.5 years.

I have recently decided to move out to live with my boyfriend. I told her this was happening in September for the end of the year to give her plenty of time to get used to the idea and to decide whether she wants to move out completely or remain in the property.

So she said she wanted to stay and i offered her my room (larger/ensuite/ lock on door for £50 extra a month month which is still a heavily discounted rate. I also said that flatmate wise i would find the right person for her.

So this is where the problems start. She's requested no males which is fair enough but trying to arrange viewings around her is a nightmare. She goes away every single weekend so there are only the odd few nights per week that suits her that she's actually in. Viewers have had to wait a week before a viewing.

She also informs me half way through that she will not have a person in the house before January as she is home for Christmas for 2 weeks in case they have wild NYE parties and damage her stuff. She also has no time in December to move her stuff next door.This meant that i had to leave people dissapointed after having visited and were keen. Fortunately thid did not put one girl off and she requested a second viewing.

Following girl's second viewing on Tuesday (who flatmate really got on with and liked) she said she'd get back to me on Thursday

Wednesday night flatmate explained that her colleague was interested but was concerned about the money (only earns about £11k) and that she prefers to have someone she knew. I explained that i would need to know ASAP as other girl is coming back to me.

So yesterday arrives and i said any news about the friend because other girl is calling tonight for a decision. I was informed to tell other girl that there would be a final viewing before a decision is made and delay it until Saturdsy.

I said no as I'd already messed the girl about with dates i wasn't prepared to do it again. She rang last night and i offered it to her as the other person hadn't got back to me and realistically i don't think she could afford it and I'm not prepared to put someone in debt. Also her uncertainty bothered me. Had i delayed i could have ended up with neither

So of course current flatmate is unhappy. I just feel that I've literally bent over backwards to find someone suitable for her and she forgets that normal landlords would not go to this level to find someone suitable. She's had months to discuss this with her colleague!

Thing is, next time round I'm not going to have the capacity to work around her. It'll have to be a case of 'girl A is coming tonight so make sure you're in'.

So do others see something i don't? Have i been outrageously unkind? Please bear in mind from Jan I'll be paying two sets of bills and after the 18th (2 weeks) no further viewings with flatmate there could have happened as she will have gone home for Christmas.

ciderwithrosie_2

As I see it, she's got 2 choices, get over it (surely she will as you said they got on) or find somewhere else to live. I think you've been more than helpful, considering it's your home, not hers. Some people just don't cope with change very well and will throw up all sorts of obstacles.

Southernman

She's not too keen on moving out as she knows that in normal non mates rates circumstances she would never afford what she has in my flat. She also couldn't afford a deposit and 1 months rent up front somewhere else

Corelli

Hi apart from the personal interactions, you need to be aware that once you are no longer living in the property, your flat mate will no longer be a lodger with limited rights. She and any other person living there will be tenants which gives them a lot more rights and you lot more responsibilities. It is worth posting this in the house buying selling and renting part of this forum for some more specialist advice.

Southernman

Fortunately my parents are landlords so they've taught me everything I need to know in advance. I'm also a regular lurker in that forum!

It's scary business but I do have the appropriate savings if necessary.

JasX

Southernman wrote: »

She's not too keen on moving out as she knows that in normal non mates rates circumstances she would never afford what she has in my flat. She also couldn't afford a deposit and 1 months rent up front somewhere else

Which tbh is all the leverige you need.

You need to make sure you don;t fall behind on your mortgage (well that's the line to take with here regardless of circmstances).

Point out she has had X time to sort it out and every opportunity to have engaged with your need to find someone.

Regards move in date unless she wants to pay upfront the £200+ odd delaying the new tenant will cost you for a couple of weeks then everyone will be sticking to the incoming tenants schedule and need for somewhere to live.

Apologise that's the situation but throw in you feel you have been more than reasonable and done more than 'any' landlord would have done because of the 'mates' arrangement. Tho remind her she is free to live wherever she pleases if she's no longer happy with the arrangement.

Sounds like a spoiled #%$£% getting somewhat precious and throwing a mild tantrum. Hence mild dose of reality required to point things back on an even keel

buglawton

Do you still have a mortgage on your flat? If so you'll not be allowed by your mortgage company to rent it out without a proper (probably Assured Shorthold Tenancy) contract in place. You can give this to your lodger as the reason for getting the situation in order pronto, otherwise your best/safest option financially might be to sell the flat or keep it empty until you get a new tenant with proper AST and deposit held in escrow.

Your friend/lodger has had it good for a long time in a tough rental market and doesn't want things to change.

jackyann

Another example of no good deed going unpunished!

I think that, with your parents' help, and taking the legal situtation into account, you need to draw up a clear agreement. Put it all in writing (sounds as if you haven't).

Tell her that the legal situation is now different (true) and much that was done on trust must now be in writing and seen to be above board. She will almost certainly agree (honestly, if she doesn't, that's the end of it, give her notice to quit)
Hand over the document, ask her to read it and get advice if she needs to (from your description, any sensible advice will be to keep you on board!). Say you value her friendship, but that you need clarity in the relationship in order to keep it.

I suspect that she has been lulled in to false sense of security, is scared and ignoring the facts. She may also be acting out some jealousy to you as you are in a much better financial situation than she is.

BigAunty

I think she is acting on what she desires rather than the reality of the situation.

If you'd have known what a 'mare she would be, I think you would have given her the option of taking on the tenancy in her sole name with permission for her to find her own lodger.

That way, she would get to be the intermediary landlord and choose her own flatmate as she desires (reward) but she would she would be responsible in full for the entire rent (risk). That would have made her a lot more accommodating about finding someone on a timely basis and being a lot less fussy about who it is.

What she wants is to be a tenant of yours with the rights of being a landlord, able to choose who lives there and when they move in.

Have you considered telling her it's not working out and giving her notice to leave before you head off?

I know you have offered the second tenancy to another person but if nothing has been signed, you could retract this, explaining that unfortunately you've been messed about by your friend and feel she will probably sabotage the set-up as it has been imposed upon her. You could apologise to the new tenant and ask her if she knows anyone else who wants your ex-friend's room and you'd be happy to set up a joint tenancy.

That way you can find a group of tenants that know each other and that actually wants to live together, who you don't have a personal relationship with and doesn't expect mates rates and to control the landlord side of things.

If you proceed now as planned, your current flatmate will simply resent you and will probably make the new girl feel unwelcome. She is used to calling in favours and getting her own way so when it comes to her tenant responsibilities, she might also be a 'mare on that front, too. If this is what you are like when you are around and being patient, what is she going to be like when you aren't there?

Guest101

Southernman wrote: »

I've owned my flat for several years and always had someone in my spare room to help out with bills. - So currently a lodger.

More recently a friend of mine who i met at university has lived there for 2.5 years.

I have recently decided to move out to live with my boyfriend. I told her this was happening in September for the end of the year to give her plenty of time to get used to the idea and to decide whether she wants to move out completely or remain in the property.

So she said she wanted to stay and i offered her my room (larger/ensuite/ lock on door for £50 extra a month month which is still a heavily discounted rate. I also said that flatmate wise i would find the right person for her. - Now she's a tenant. So you cant do anything to her really.

So this is where the problems start. She's requested no males which is fair enough but trying to arrange viewings around her is a nightmare. She goes away every single weekend so there are only the odd few nights per week that suits her that she's actually in. Viewers have had to wait a week before a viewing.

She also informs me half way through that she will not have a person in the house before January as she is home for Christmas for 2 weeks in case they have wild NYE parties and damage her stuff. - Not her choice. She also has no time in December to move her stuff next door.This meant that i had to leave people dissapointed after having visited and were keen. Fortunately thid did not put one girl off and she requested a second viewing.

Following girl's second viewing on Tuesday (who flatmate really got on with and liked) she said she'd get back to me on Thursday

Wednesday night flatmate explained that her colleague was interested but was concerned about the money (only earns about £11k) and that she prefers to have someone she knew. I explained that i would need to know ASAP as other girl is coming back to me.

So yesterday arrives and i said any news about the friend because other girl is calling tonight for a decision. I was informed to tell other girl that there would be a final viewing before a decision is made and delay it until Saturdsy.

I said no as I'd already messed the girl about with dates i wasn't prepared to do it again. She rang last night and i offered it to her as the other person hadn't got back to me and realistically i don't think she could afford it and I'm not prepared to put someone in debt. Also her uncertainty bothered me. Had i delayed i could have ended up with neither

So of course current flatmate is unhappy. I just feel that I've literally bent over backwards to find someone suitable for her and she forgets that normal landlords would not go to this level to find someone suitable. She's had months to discuss this with her colleague!

Thing is, next time round I'm not going to have the capacity to work around her. It'll have to be a case of 'girl A is coming tonight so make sure you're in'.

So do others see something i don't? Have i been outrageously unkind? Please bear in mind from Jan I'll be paying two sets of bills and after the 18th (2 weeks) no further viewings with flatmate there could have happened as she will have gone home for Christmas.

You should evict the flatmate and rent out the whole flat.


Theyre no longer lodgers, but tenants and you'll have less hassle renting out joint and severable tenancy for the whole property than individual ones.


Especially when you consider the Deregulation Act 2015


Since you're not an experienced landlord you should do some research

BigAunty

Southernman wrote: »

She's not too keen on moving out as she knows that in normal non mates rates circumstances she would never afford what she has in my flat. She also couldn't afford a deposit and 1 months rent up front somewhere else

Actually, she could. She clearly has a job and therefore would be able to secure a loan or overdraft to fund this.

And it is up to her if she can afford a new place or not - not your problem, it's all down to her choices and financial management.

She may not be keen on moving out but currently, as a lodger or excluded occupier, as you are aware, she has no security of tenure and is easy to evict now.

When she becomes a tenant, and assuming that she falls out with the flatmate you impose on her and the new flatmate leaves, do you think she might also expect you to take the financial hit from that void period as she expects now?