Buying for OH's Niece's and Nephew's we no longer see????

enthusiasticsaver

I don't see the point of buying presents for people you don't know and hardly see. For a close family member yes but if funds are tight and there is very little appreciation anyway I would put a halt to this. I have managed to cut my Christmas present list right down this year through careful negotiations with family and will now only buy for direct close family - OH, daughters, son in law, granddaughter and brother as he does not have a partner or children. I am not buying for my mum or step dad as they have all they need and told them not to buy for us, same with my sister, brother in law, niece and nephew even though we are all in close touch. We have also come to an arrangement with friends that we will do a meal out and split the bill three ways (3 couples) rather than presents and enjoy time spent together instead. It has made Christmas so much more enjoyable without all the anguish over what to get people who already have more than enough. It is time spent with people you care about which matters not presents although I still like to buy for my nearest and dearest but I can cope with 5 people just not the 20 it has been in previous years.

Pollycat

emily_jackson wrote: »

Well I don't see my great nephew on his birthday but I've seen photos of him on my other niece's fb page opening the gift so I know he's given it. However, I know that his mum will probably make some sort of undermining comment about me when he opens it, as I've seen her say to him when he opens presents from her ex "it's okay for you to ruin that top as it's from your dad". But that still doesn't stop me wanting to send him gifts x

So you do actually know he does get the gifts.
But the OP doesn't know that.

Skintandscared wrote: »

But this year we are unbelievably skint, and have taken a massive income drop, and are really struggling to afford anything for our children, let alone our extended family. My side of the family will be "doing xmas" in March, due to personal circumstances, so we've agreed to buy for my nieces and nephews in February.

If you were in the same circumstances as the OP - you don't know this child even gets the gifts, you don't get any form of 'thank you' and you are struggling to buy your own children gifts - would you still buy your nephew a gift or would you concentrate that money on your own children?

Skintandscared

The crux of the situation is that my own children come before anything else, and even a £5 gift would impact on anything they may have. They also have birthday's very near to Xmas. So basically, we are very, very skint.
We have donated a £5 worth of food to our local food bank, as I don't want them to think Xmas is all about the presents they get, and want them to see the bigger picture. And I agree that charity should begin at home.

Unfortunately, times are hard, and I am beginning to realise that we may have to just cut my OH Nephew out of gift giving from now on. My OH said last year we should do that, but I felt really bad that he doesn't see my OH or kids, so we spent a lot on presents for him. We even purchased a large games console for him, when his Mother was going through a (short lived) patch of not being vile, on the proviso that she pay us back in small, manageable amounts. We've never seen any of that money. This was four years ago.

I don't wish the little boy to miss out on anything, as none of this mess is his fault or anything to do with him, but I really question whether he'll miss the pair of PJ's or Xmas annual we would've bought him?? I also have no idea what he would like, and I am loathe to give him money as his "Mother" would only spend it on her new boyfriend.

Pollycat

Skintandscared
What a lovely post. :T
Such a lovely gesture to donate £5 to the food bank - especially in the financial circumstances you describe.

I wish you & your family a Merry Christmas.

Skintandscared

Pollycat wrote: »

Skintandscared
What a lovely post. :T
Such a lovely gesture to donate £5 to the food bank - especially in the financial circumstances you describe.

I wish you & your family a Merry Christmas.

Aw Pollycat :beer: that's so kind

To be honest, I feel very lucky to have a roof over our heads, food on the table and a safe bed for us all to sleep in - not forgetting we are healthy and happy. At this time of year it is SO easy to get drawn into the vacuum of shopping, but I keep reminding (myself!) and my little ones that money and gifts are not the be all and end all.

Very merry Christmas wishes to you and your family too

Katiehound

Skintandscared wrote: »

To be honest, I feel very lucky to have a roof over our heads, food on the table and a safe bed for us all to sleep in - not forgetting we are healthy and happy. At this time of year it is SO easy to get drawn into the vacuum of shopping, but I keep reminding (myself!) and my little ones that money and gifts are not the be all and end all.

Yes you have hit the nail on the head.
Enough food, a cosy bed, health and happiness those are the MOST important things.
Glad you managed to donate to your local food bank despite your own financial situation.
Hope you have a lovely (pared back) Christmas celebrating all the good things you have got.
Take care, and enjoy!

Skintandscared

Wishing you a lovely Xmas too Katiehound x