Buying for OH's Niece's and Nephew's we no longer see????

Katiehound

Skintandscared wrote: »

Tbh with the financial situation, I think I will be getting a £1 selection box for them all this year.

Look he gets the gift, whatever it has been in the past, and then no thank you! Sorry in my book that alone means- can't be bothered to give thanks (whatever the age- a picture would count), therefore can't be bothered to receive either!

They will all do fine with either the £1 selection box or something from Poundland. (I have bought lovely books there for £1 worth far more)

For your own children I was going to suggest that because money is so tight that you tell them so and then concentrate on fun experiences rather than 'things.' Generally when we look back to childhood we remember happenings. Even if you are not religious go to a carol service, there is something magical about hearing the boy soloist singing "Once in Royal David's city" unaccompanied as the choir processes up the aisle.
Look in your local area and see what there is for free or cheap and take photos of what you do. Make it a memorable Christmas for all the right reasons. At home play quizzes, charades, card games etc. Have silly little prizes, home made paper hats. home made decs, whatever......
Maybe your children could be brainstorming themselves to see if they can hunt down the experiences?
I think Panto tickets are a great gift - maybe you have an am dram production near you?
I'm pretty sure I read in Good Housekeeping mag that you can do a basic (but good) meal for under £3 per head- it priced up all the ingredients from major supermarkets.

Whatever you do have a great family time
If you have got your health and a happy family then you have riches. Christmas has turned into a commercial enterprise, buck the trend and enjoy a pared back version. "Things" don't have to be expensive or vital, having fun and enjoyment is more important..........

Mojisola

Skintandscared wrote: »

Basically my OH fell out with his family and hasn't spoken to his some of his sibling's for about three or four years, despite repeated attempts from our end.

However, my OH has a nephew aged around 10, who has a very small family (doesn't see Dad's side), and even though his Mother (my OH's Sister) has been unspeakably vile, we've always made a big effort, and gone OTT for him, spending three times the budget on his presents as we feel sad for him.

It doesn't sound as if you have any contact with your OH's sister and her son so how do you get his present to him?

I wondered whether he even knows that the present is from you - maybe his Mum doesn't give it him or says that it's from her.

Skintandscared

Mojisola wrote: »

It doesn't sound as if you have any contact with your OH's sister and her son so how do you get his present to him?

I wondered whether he even knows that the present is from you - maybe his Mum doesn't give it him or says that it's from her.

My OH leaves it at his parents house for it to be picked up. I am not sure tbh, which bothers me. Based on the lies that they've told the poor kid, I dread to think what he imagines we're like

166million

I rarely see my sister, nieces and nephew who live in another part of the country and another sister who lives abroad.

The nieces who live in UK I contact with but sometimes its tricky to know what to get. The nephew I get a voucher for but I might as well not exist to him I guess he has got his own life to get on with.

The ones abroad I get a family present as I know they get together at Christmas so they can share a box of chocs or something. I think we're a family who are a bit 'out of sight out of mind' which is bad really.

emily_jackson

I'm in a similar situation, there's a niece on my husband's side who I don't speak to and she's got a son, his other niece who I do speak to has got four children. Personally I buy for all five, as the way I see it it's his mum who I've fallen out with not him and I think it's the right thing to do. I spend about the same on all of them. So if it was me I'd continue buying for your niece and nephew, even if you don't get a thank you at least you know you've done the right thing and I'm sure when they get older they'll appreciate it. Only spend what you can afford though x

Mojisola

Skintandscared wrote: »

My OH leaves it at his parents house for it to be picked up. I am not sure tbh, which bothers me. Based on the lies that they've told the poor kid, I dread to think what he imagines we're like

emily_jackson wrote: »

So if it was me I'd continue buying for your niece and nephew, even if you don't get a thank you at least you know you've done the right thing and I'm sure when they get older they'll appreciate it.

Only if the child is told who the present is from!

emily_jackson

Well at Christmas I'm usually there when he opens it and I put a label on it, and on his birthdays I enclose a card, so he'll know who they're from x

Pollycat

emily_jackson wrote: »

Well at Christmas I'm usually there when he opens it and I put a label on it, and on his birthdays I enclose a card, so he'll know who they're from x

But the OP says they never see the nephew so not the same circumstances as they're not likely to be there when he opens the gift - if he's even given it.
In the financial circumstances the OP describes, I'd be concentrating on my own family.

emily_jackson

Well I don't see my great nephew on his birthday but I've seen photos of him on my other niece's fb page opening the gift so I know he's given it. However, I know that his mum will probably make some sort of undermining comment about me when he opens it, as I've seen her say to him when he opens presents from her ex "it's okay for you to ruin that top as it's from your dad". But that still doesn't stop me wanting to send him gifts x

Katiehound

Pollycat wrote: »

In the financial circumstances the OP describes, I'd be concentrating on my own family.

Absolutely agree.
This time I believe the adage "Charity begins at home" is spot on!