Money Moral Dilemma: Should I pay my parents interest?

Ebenezer_Screwj

Your parents were at fault lending you the money in the first place instead of leaving you to work and save up. It seems though, that the chickens have come home to roost and so you had better pay up hadn't you?

Mojisola

happyinflorida wrote: »

We also were helping my parents out at every opportunity we could, we bought them a microwave and a hoover over the years when they told us they couldn't afford these items!

I didn't know they were on such an enormous monthly income, more than double what we had coming in - yes I'm furious now that I was so deceived and we went without so much because I had to work every possible hour I could to make ends meet.

Setting aside the issue of the loan and who paid for your wedding, I would be upset if this had been my parents.

RajaStyle

Maybe they feel you haven't appreciated the help they gave you with this money loan and want you to know the value of it ? Did you maybe take it for granted and not show gratitude during the time frame ?

Maybe their circumstances have changed and they are struggling a little or have realised the lost value of helping you out ?

All things considered communication is key, talk to them about it ... maybe I don't remember a mention of interest etc don't mind thanking you for the loan shall we say x amount ? end of story everyone happy. Importantly relationships preserved. You can't put a value on something that when destroyed never comes back.

Pollycat

RajaStyle wrote: »

All things considered communication is key, talk to them about it ... maybe I don't remember a mention of interest etc don't mind thanking you for the loan shall we say x amount ? end of story everyone happy. Importantly relationships preserved. You can't put a value on something that when destroyed never comes back.

That boat has already sailed:

happyinflorida wrote: »

My father died a few years ago and it was only then that I learnt the truth. My parents had been lying to me for many years.

When my dad died, I found a letter from my mum that she'd written to close friends of hers - she always wrote everything out in rough first and then sent a proper letter to the friends (she wouldn't send anything that contained any errors as it had to be perfect!).

She's now in a care home and has Alzheimer's - I've done everything I can to ensure she's well looked after but it's been very difficult for me in view of what they did to us and how much they messed our lives up.

No idea how long ago this happened.

gayleygoo

I think the OP has been unfairly dealt with by their parents. Sure, no adult is entitled to money from their parents, but she asked for a loan, not a gift. Which the parents could have said no to, if they were that bothered about it.

It's not right that the mother is now demanding the full amount back. If she had ever said that your £60 p/m was only interest payments, you would have known to start paying back the capital at some point. What if you'd paid for 10 years and thought it was paid off, then they turned round and said you still owed the whole amount?

Your mother's Alzeimhers does complicate sorting it out, but maybe come to some sort of compromise? Or have you paid it all back in full now, plus the "interest" payments you made already? If so, it may have to be a lesson-learnt kinda thing and you'll have to be more cautious in future. I think you're right to feel annoyed by it, but there's no point holding on to the negative feelings now.

Pollycat

gayleygoo wrote: »

I think the OP has been unfairly dealt with by their parents.

I find it truly shocking that the parents lied to the OP.

Why did they do that?

I can't see why they would even discuss the amount of redundancy received or the amount of monthly income they received when they were retired with their daughter - unless she asked them.

relaxtwotribes

happyinflorida,
What is it that you think will happen if you do not now repay £7k that is being asked for? You clearly believe that your loan was intended to be interest free as no interest was mentioned at commencement. So in your mind you now owe £7k less all the £60 repayments.
It may not be morally correct, but if you now do not pay a penny more what will happen? Your mother will not sue you and if she does she will lose for lack of evidence regarding interest. Your mother will not disinherit you because she has alzheimers and is unable to make a new will or codicil. You will lose your relationship, but from your posts you do not regard that as too great a loss.

Fujiko

I can't believe there are parents who would expect interest on any money they lent to their children. Given the abysmal interest rates on savings, how much would the parents really have lost? Wouldn't it be better to regard the loan as an advance on the money the offspring will inherit at some time and take pleasure in seeing it being used? If the value of their house has also gone up I would be very pleased for them.

Pollycat

Mojisola wrote: »

I think the 'dilemma' is a historical one as the father concerned died some years ago.

I agree.
I think this thread is getting very confused because the way I read happyinflorida's later posts, the money has already been repaid.
I'm curious how long ago this happened.

spend_or_save

Fujiko wrote: »

I can't believe there are parents who would expect interest on any money they lent to their children. - if an interest rate was agreed at the begining then i dont see why this would be an issue. if its only mentioned later on then its out of order Given the abysmal interest rates on savings, how much would the parents really have lost? Wouldn't it be better to regard the loan as an advance on the money the offspring will inherit at some time and take pleasure in seeing it being used? If the value of their house has also gone up I would be very pleased for them - fine if you are in a position to afford it, however this may not always be the case and some folks may be in a position to give the money away for a few years as long as they get it back.

My dad lent me money when i bought my house as it allowed me to keep my previous property as a rental investment. If my Dad hadnt lent me the cash i would have taken a loan for the deposit, however i was only willing to take the loan on the basis i paid my dad interest and had agreed payment terms/timescales in place. Scenerio is my dad gets slightly better interest than he would in his savings, helps out his son and i get a cheaper loan. I wouldnt have accepted the loan if there was no interest as it wouldnt have felt right.

If interest has been agreed and both parties are happy with it, i think its wrong to slag off the parents.