Relationship breakup

Guest101

LilElvis wrote: »

:T Of course you needed to roll out that old chestnut!

Your not trying to stifle my expression of opinion I hope?

Guest101

LilElvis wrote: »

I'm perfectly capable of reading, thank you.

The first response to the OP was from you in which you advocated changing the locks. Nothing in the OP to suggest this is necessary. Why risk inflaming a situation when there is no need?

I''m glad, then you knew (or you certainly now do) where the breaking in reference came from.

She refused to return the key. Someone who moves out, no longer needds unrestricted access.

I stand by my suggestion.

LilElvis

Guest101 wrote: »

Your not trying to stifle my expression of opinion I hope?

I think I've read more than enough of your posts regarding relationship breakdowns with children involved to know exactly what your opinion is/ projection based on your own cr*p relationship with the mother of your child.

As I said, why risk inflaming the situation if it isn't necessary.

LilElvis

Guest101 wrote: »

I''m glad, then you knew (or you certainly now do) where the breaking in reference came from.

She refused to return the key. Someone who moves out, no longer needds unrestricted access.

I stand by my suggestion.

She refused to return a key, nothing to suggest that she has attempted to use it. Why start creating animosity unnecessarily when it might then create an antagonistic atmosphere to colour other, more pertinent issues which need dealing with - like maintenance and what is to happen to the family home?

Noobie2011

Beckyy wrote: »

It's for the children's benefits though re: tax credits/child benefit. If she isn't contributing towards them and is receiving them then he should pursue for their sake as it could go into their savings if not needed for day to day things.

How old are the children?

Thanks.

The kids are roughly 2 and 4 I believe

Guest101

LilElvis wrote: »

I think I've read more than enough of your posts regarding relationship breakdowns with children involved to know exactly what your opinion is/ projection based on your own cr*p relationship with the mother of your child.

As I said, why risk inflaming the situation if it isn't necessary.

My advice would be the same regardless of gender

Noobie2011

Thank You everyone for your replies.

I by no means know anything about the law and where I do agree changing the locks might cause more issues, it will as he maybe fears discover that she is trying to gain access to the house when he is not there.

I am definitely going to advise him to sit down with her and talk this through and calmly explain to her all of the legal things he could do but he is not and for that she should think herself lucky and therefore abide by small gestures like returning the key. I think her problem is she has this new life and is not being impacted by any of the negative side of moving out of the family home as he is in a way protecting her.

I think if he finds that she does not want to comply then I am going to advise him to at least get some legal advice around where he stands with her moving out and not paying the mortgage, child maintenance, child benefits etc so he has some security if she carries on being so selfish.

Mojisola

Noobie2011 wrote: »

I think if he finds that she does not want to comply then I am going to advise him to at least get some legal advice around where he stands with her moving out and not paying the mortgage, child maintenance, child benefits etc so he has some security if she carries on being so selfish.

If she continues to claim all the child-related benefits while the children are living with their Dad, she is committing fraud. The money isn't for Mum or Dad, it's for the children.

Once he gets all the benefits and child maintenance sorted out, he may be able to pay the mortgage himself. He then needs a financial agreement so that she doesn't benefit in the future from the years when he is paying the mortgage on his own.

It's usually best for the children to stay in the family house. If he can afford the mortgage, a court would protect the house from a forced sale until the youngest child reaches 18.

Noobie2011

So just chatted to my friend earlier to fill him in on the financial side of things as she is now again playing up with saying the kids are feeling it but when my mate tries to speak to her about it she ignores him and is continuing to lead her single life and enjoy herself while he is worrying sick about the house and the kids etc

I advised him about getting it writing if she is not paying the Mortgage anymore to make sure she does not gain from any profit from that day.

I also advised him about the child maintenance and benefits he should be entitled to and getting direct to him for the kids.

However all I know is she moved out and verbally agreed the kids live with him and she see them every so often on a weekend and in the week depending on her shift pattern. If he was to ask for child maintenance and the benefits direct to him would he need it in writing and her to agree that the kids are classed as living with him rather than her?

RAS

With respect to benefits, he makes a claim for Child Benefit to be paid to him. That stops her getting the money until a decision is made on who gets it.

He needs to check www.turn2us.org.uk now and make claims for CTC and WTC if he thinks he might be eligible. Given the new rules, I would make the claim for CTC even if he thinks he will not get paid anything right now. With the two child limit coming in he could find himself at a disadvantage if he meet someone new in 5 years time and wants another child. If he has an existing CTC claim, he might be OK.

He needs to contact the Council now to ask for single person's allowance for Council Tax. He can provide her new address as evidence.