Relationship breakup

Noobie2011

Hi All,

I am hoping for a bit of advice here as it seems my friend may be being taken for fool and too blind to see it.

In summary he and his partner(not married) have been together for 7 years with 2 young children and bought a house together about 3 years ago. In terms of the house she put a certain amount if deposit in and so did he.

A few months ago she ended the relationship stating she was not happy and not what she wants. Now this was pretty harsh to take and a big shock for my friend but I take the view of it can happen even though it is not fair

After about a month or so she moved out and got her own rented place and stopped paying the Mortgage as she could not afford to pay this as well as her new rent. My friend has the the kids full time due to them being settled and also because of her work pattern which would not work with having the kids full time.

Even though my friend is hurting he has made sure to keep it civil for the kids sake however now she has moved out she has been treating him as though nothing ever happened between them and being really selfish etc.

She has moved all her stuff out and he has asked for the key back as she has no need to come into the house with him not there but he does acknowledge her name is on the deed and she has money in the property. But she refused blankly and said she does not have to give it back as she is on the deeds.

She is doing other things to make it very hard for him and although she seems to be saying she is struggling with money and that's why she cannot pay for presents for the kids or contribute to the Mortgage she seems to have money to buy things and go out quite a lot.

I have told him he needs to try and sit down with her ans sort it out like adults but she is now taking legal advice from a Solicitor friend which he does not feel is right especially after she left him and he has been nothing but accommodating. He even helped her out with a deposit on her new flat and bought the kids new beds for her place for when the kids stay.

He thinks she may be pushing for her money out of the house and he has said he would have to sell up as could not afford to buy her out and then the kids may be uprooted etc. I told him if she is not paying the Mortgage now you need to get that documented as I am not sure if she should still be contributing

So sorry for the rant but I am looking for advice in terms of where does he stand with the house and her not paying anything to the Mortgage anymore and also about getting the key back.

Also someone mentioned she should be paying child support as he has them full time so was wondering where he stands with this.

I don't think he would ever do anything that put her in financial trouble but if he was entitled to stuff he could maybe use this to make her understand how nice he is being by not demanding it.

Thanks for any replies

Guest101

Is she paying maintenance? It sounds like not.

He can buy a new lock at B&Q. She is entitled to come to the house, as she is an owner. But he could get an injunction if things turn nasty.

Priority needs to be the kids.

Noobie2011

Guest101 wrote: »

Is she paying maintenance? It sounds like not.

He can buy a new lock at B&Q. She is entitled to come to the house, as she is an owner. But he could get an injunction if things turn nasty.

Priority needs to be the kids.

No she is not paying maintenance at all. In her defense not because she has refused but he has not asked to start with as he knows she does not have much money now she is paying all her own rent.

I read up on changing locks but apparently as she is on the deeds that would be illegal to do so. Someone cleverly said he could buy a chain for the front door and accidentally leave it on and go out the back door but he dos not want it to go this far.

As said his priority is the kids but I think she knows that and is using it to her advantage etc

Now that she is not paying the Mortgage is that right as she does not live there but she was not forced out and left of her own free will

Guest101

Maintenance is for the kids. She needs to pay regardless. Not be asked to.

It's not illegal. Whoever told you that is talking again rubbish

balletshoes

your friend needs to see a solicitor, end of. Being "nice" and "accommodating" is all fine and well, but not to the extent of sticking his head in the sand and pretending its not happening.

Noobie2011

Guest101 wrote: »

Maintenance is for the kids. She needs to pay regardless. Not be asked to.

It's not illegal. Whoever told you that is talking again rubbish

I agree and it seems since she has moved out the kids are not a real priority compared to her new single life

I googled a few forums and people were saying as she is on the deeds she has to have access to the house so he cannot change the locks as she would then have no key to gain access

System

As I understand it:

Because there are young children living in the house it is unlikely a judge would enforce a sale until they reach the age of 18.

Maintenance payment for a non-resident parent would be about 15% of their take-home pay.

Does he have a key to her new house, which he has helped pay for?

Guest101

She's entitled to access sure.

That doesn't mean changing the locks is illegal.

Noobie2011

balletshoes wrote: »

your friend needs to see a solicitor, end of. Being "nice" and "accommodating" is all fine and well, but not to the extent of sticking his head in the sand and pretending its not happening.

I agree, I am trying to be there to support him but I am subtly trying to convince him to see a solicitor especially if she is acting like she is and not willing to be amicable.

Guest101

Just contact CMS, pop down B&Q and be done with it. It's an hour tops. Buy the kid ice cream whilst his out.

Noobie2011

avogadro wrote: »

As I understand it:

Because there are young children living in the house it is unlikely a judge would enforce a sale until they reach the age of 18.

Maintenance payment for a non-resident parent would be about 15% of their take-home pay.

Does he have a key to her new house, which he has helped pay for?

Okay that is good information.

No he doesn't. The first thing I said to him was he needs to wake up and stop helping her out. I mean his excuse was if he did not help her find a place them she might have had to move far away so could not see the kids. And he bought the beds for the kids when they stayed at hers. I mean I said I understand but he is enabler her to have this nice single life and move one while he is left coping wiht everything she has so easily left behind