What to do - flat mate issue

Racky_Roo

Sorry forgot to add, she can't take my room, and rent it from me as she's a student with no money, she doesn't even have a part time job as her degree is so demanding so he seems to pretty much pay for everything - food/nights out/train tix etc

tea_lover

She can still be there 5 nights a week, as agreed. So I think having a couple of nights to yourself is perfectly reasonable. They really are taking the mick!

Hope you manage to get it sorted amicably.

pinkshoes

I would take to sitting in your pants in the living room more often and cooking with just an apron.

Just speak to your mate. Either accept you are living with a couple (so bills split three ways) or he needs to stick to the rules.

justme111

As said before - the result of the talk going to be awkwardness which will make it even more uncomfortable. It looks like what irks you most is that he is not available to spend time with you - you will not rectify it by your talk. Just find something not related to them to occupy your evenings.
Pinkshoes , it could be an option but I do not think bills split either 2 or 3 ways is an issue here.

Mojisola

Racky_Roo wrote: »

I moved into a flat with my mate a few months ago after he moved out of his previous flat because his flat mate moved his gf in and my mate didn't want to live with a couple.

I live in the flat sun-weds night, arriving late Sunday eve and going back to my house 2 hrs away after work on Thursday. We set up a roommate agreement which stated about bills (split 50/50) people staying over and what happened if one of us wanted to move out etc

The deal is that either of us can have partners/friends to stay over on 2 of the (on average 4) nights I'm there. So in effect, his gf can stay 5 of 7 nights a week.

What would you do?

Get out the agreement and talk it over with him.

He didn't like living with a couple but, despite the agreement, that's what he's making you do.

silvercar

I don't see how you can tell him to see less of the GF and spend more time with you. You can ask that he spends some of the time that you are around at hers, rather than yours. You don't want to come over as needy but more that you value your space.

yvonne13_2

As a friend you should be able to talk to him about it. I would suggest the bills get split 3 ways if shes there all the time. (Do you know for a fact she's there when you go back to your house?)

Other then that move out and find somewhere else to live part time if you can.

yvonne13_2

Racky_Roo wrote: »

Sorry forgot to add, she can't take my room, and rent it from me as she's a student with no money, she doesn't even have a part time job as her degree is so demanding so he seems to pretty much pay for everything - food/nights out/train tix etc

What money she has or doesn't have is not your concern. All you need to know is that if she is indeed in the property all the time then you need only pay 1/3 of the bills.

Homeownertobe

He's broken the agreement so it's time to renegotiate. As you're only there part-time, and he and his girlfriend are there almost full-time, it's fair that your flatmate should pay 2/3 of the bills at the very least. If he disagrees then tell him that his girlfriend/leech is only welcome in the flat as the original agreement states. Something tells me your friend left his previous flat due to reasons he's not fully explained to you.

ambyence

Hello, I have been in a very similar situation to the one described.

Due to wanting to keep the peace, as one of my flatmates was a family member (and I liked both of them), I chose the "cowardly" option (not saying this would be cowardly if anyone else chose to do this, just that for me personally, at that time and in those circumstances, I felt a bit cowardly.)

I kept my mouth shut and went house-hunting for a place of my own without telling them. I found somewhere and it was all signed and sorted before I told them.

I then had the conversation with them that I was moving out and it was a bit awkward. Well, very awkward...
However, I have since found out that they didn't want to live with me either - I was getting in the way of their quality time.

They have since moved out as well, got their own place, got married and now have a lovely little boy together.

We all still speak to each other as well, thankfully.

However, I think in your case the best thing to do would be to have the chat about the room-mate agreement and ask if the situation were (hypothetically) reversed, how your flatmate would feel about that. You might not like the answer to the question, but if you don't ask, you won't know.

Best of luck in sorting it out amicably.