good old mirror will shafting be warned

macca1974

horrible situation, but not a lot that you can do about it. At the end of the day, your mother gave her estate to your step father and it was his to do with as he pleased. We had something similar with my "step grandfather" who had been married to my nan for 40 odd years and was my granddad growing up. When my Nan died he (quite rightly) got everything and then when step-grandad died, he passed it all onto his sisters, not leaving anything to my parents who had cared for him for the last few years of his life. The worst point about it was that he had fallen out with them in the late 70's and not spoken to them since! I don't think that they even made it to his funeral.

I was really annoyed on my parents behalf for a while (not going so far as digging my Nan up mind you) and it soured my memory of him which was a shame as he'd always been one of my favourite relatives. In the end though, I look back now and remember all the fun times that we had with him and how happy my Nan was and realised it was his stuff to do with as he pleased.

WELLSIANA

SHE did , but would she still feel that way now..i doubt it very much .

SailorSam

WELLSIANA wrote: »

I have just been served a good old mirror

I could see myself in that.

WELLSIANA

lets just answer some of these replies of which i am most appreciative...firstly my mother died 7 years ago and believe me it affected me far more than "my cut" as you say..i never knew mum had a will but the moment i was given it i was told it was not worth the paper its written on by the "step-father" , indeed he had the right to do as he wished and i am told by a solicitor this happens a lot , bloods thicker than water. With regard to "the cut" its more the pact my mother made and her wishes as they agreed accounting for nothing , as he revoked them he has betrayed her totally , it is that more than anything that annoys me , and indeed his daughter is by far the best off and always has been . we are mere council house stock doing a tad better. another two questions i wish to address , yes my mother did want to have him go in beside her , but would she decide the same knowing what he has done, i doubt that , also with regard to exhumation , would you want knowing how mad she would be your mother lying beside someone she would now hate in a parish where she has no other family or would you prefer to bring her to her loved ones , how do you think it feels taking my flowers and seeing his name beside her knowing he betrayed her. As for the hate side , was that not an act of treachery . and too answer the what caused him to do so...you would have to know him for that and it would break him in two to give anything away .

paddy's_mum

WELLSIANA wrote: »

it would break him in two to give anything away .

If this aspect of his character was known, it suggests that your late mother was perhaps poorly advised by the solicitor who drew up the wills.

Whatever the in's and out's of the present situation, I stand by my advice to try your very best to overcome your bitterness since in the end, it sours you, your life and how you view every last thing.

I wish you well.

JimmyTheWig

paddy's_mum wrote: »

Whatever the in's and out's of the present situation, I stand by my advice to try your very best to overcome your bitterness since in the end, it sours you, your life and how you view every last thing.

I agree.

As you say, OP, you've been shafted. And it sounds like they've made a good job of it so there's nothing that you can do.
I agree with an earlier poster who suggested seeing what your step sister thinks of it all. If she accepts that her dad has done the dirty on you and wants to help set things straight then brilliant. But if not it sounds like there's nothing that you can do other than try to move on with your life.

74jax

Just a note on what you said about not wanting to visit the grave with his name in the plaque....

My dad died only foUr weeks ago, and I'm finding it hard, as everyone does. But I don't see him as buried in the ground. He's all around me. I doubt I'll ever go to his grave, my brother went the day after but I declined as I feel I'm standing on his decomposing body and it's just weird.

Can you maybe try to feel your mum with you. So you don't have to take her flowers she won't see, but maybe buy flowers for her to be kept in a special vase in the house so you see them.

It might help and just a suggestion.

POPPYOSCAR

74jax wrote: »

Just a note on what you said about not wanting to visit the grave with his name in the plaque....

My dad died beastly foUr weeks ago, and I'm finding it hard, as everyone does. But I don't see him as buried in the ground. He's all around me. I doubt I'll ever go to his grave, my brother went the day after but I declined as I feel I'm standing on his decomposing body and it's just weird.

Can you maybe try to feel your mum with you. So you don't have to take her flowers she won't see, but maybe buy flowers for her to be kept in a special vase in the house so you see them.

It might help and just a suggestion.

I am with you.


My mother and father were both cremated and my sister had their ashes buried in her local churchyard.


I never visit as they are not there to me. I see them in everyday things around me.

WELLSIANA

I thank you all..i suppose i wrote this piece as some of you may be in the situation i was in...i would have spoken to mum but even mum never told me of a will, and when cancer hits you do not say to her mum i need to look over a will....he found a "special friend" very soon after her passing and it was this special friend that countersigned the revoke...at least it gives me real reason to hope something after i pass as i am going to thrash his bum lol ..anyone in this situation who says try not to be bitter i would assume has never tasted how it feels to think of a total betrayal of my mum...she had grandchildren she adored and her even cut them off...so bitter against him not my mum , if anything i feel sorry she was duped for years , but she could not see it and she did need someone. The money side is only because i know she would want her grandchildren helped , and she would know i would do that...so thank you for you views..i respect them and if you have a situation of stepfather/mother and your own mother/father..just be careful as if your blood goes first it may hurt . my final post on this but thanks you , i hope it gave you thought .

Mojisola

WELLSIANA wrote: »

it was this special friend that countersigned the revoke

I don't understand this bit.

Mirror wills are just that - both wills are identical but either can be changed at any point by the testator so no need for anyone else to countersign anything.

Joint wills are different (and not made very often). These commit both parties to whatever is in the will and cannot be changed after the death of the first partner.