Where do I start with it all?!

Willowpop

SandeC wrote: »

Someone else I'm going to have to phone... I hate speaking on the phone to people, it causes ridiculous amounts of anxiety, no matter who I'm speaking to - I really don't know why. But, if I'm to get out of this mess, I must get on with it!

My OH is exactly the same...he HATES talking on the phone...I do most of the insurance etc stuff, but obviously he has to talk to banks and a few other things that are in his name only.
He finds it helpful to write a little list of things that he needs to say - just bullet points. So, say you're calling Sky to ask if they can help with your package price at all, his list would be like this:
Am I in contract or can I cancel my TV package.
Need to cancel / reduce the price of my package.
Financial situation has changed.
Cannot afford the current monthly payments.

Just bullet points like that that he can glance at for a guide. He ticks them off once he has said them...and if he has any questions to ask like 'when does my contact end', he writes that down too and will write the answer down when he finds it out.
If he doesn't do this then he kind of goes into a bit of a panic, and will come off the phone without having done anything.

Also, remember to use the website saynoto0870.com for any premium rate numbers - it should give you a landline number to call for most companies.

Online shopping is a great idea, especially if you can get a cheap delivery slot. You can control your spending easily and not be tempted by goodies around the store.
I'm a bit sad and rather like going into the shops, but I've found taking cash is the best way for me. I literally take what I need, so I can't be tempted!

I do most things in cash these days and it seems to have worked really well and keeps me to a budget. I take a wad of money out on payday and split it into various envelopes..grocery, petrol, oystercard, school expenses etc etc, and then I use the money from the envelopes through the month. It really helps me focus on what I want and what I need!

Glad the funeral was ok, and it certainly sounds like you have a great new adoptive dad! :T

pab233

Hi SandeC

With respect to your TV, you could actually go for FreeSat as an option. This uses your satellite dish instead of an aerial and gives similar channels to Freeview. You would still have to explain the lack of Disney Channel but the kids soon get over it. Mine now manage to live quite happily without Phineas and Ferb!

You wouldn't need to get a new box or dish as you can use your existing Sky equipment. All you need to do is contact Sky and tell them you want to cancel your existing TV package and downgrade to FreeSat From Sky.

If you don't wish to use the existing box then you would need to buy a new receiver to sit between the dish and the TV. I think that the cheapest one available is about £50 (not an insignificant sum, I know)

Good luck in getting debt-free.

MakeAChange_2

Hello SandeC & others

I dont write on here much because i still have a bit of a phobia, but i read lots of threads and i just wanted to say that i hope you stick around on here because it does help.

My situation is soooooo similar to yours in regards to trauma, depression and debts. This year i decided to 'MakeAChange'' and so i have been looking on here daily, it helps me so much. I do not have anyone i can talk to, and it makes it very hard. So please do talk to your mum and dont leave things out, just be honest (even though it is hard) and it will help!

the first thing i did was to order my credit report and looking at it was horrible! but i did it, first time in years.

since then, i have contacted a few debt collecting agencies and they are actually a lot better than i was expecting, although i do it by email as i am still a bit scared.

i too have a job (a much better job than i previously had) and intend to pay back all that i can, starting to deal with it has made me feel a lot better about myself and it will for you too!

the worst thing to do is to borrow money to pay debts, by this i mean from doorstep lenders etc., this is something i did thinking i could catch up but it didnt help, it just makes it worse so please dont do this!

I think............
1. talk to stepchange and work out what is right for your situation
2. keep talking to your mum and accept help
3. go to the doctors
4. keep coming on here
5. never feel that you are a failure as a parent because of debts !!!!!!!!!!

do not let debts ruin you,

i hope to see you around good luck

SandeC

Hi guys

So I haven't really managed to get too much done the last couple of days because I've been super busy with work and whatnot, but I have found cheaper breakdown cover. I've gone from £26.99 a month to £17.90 a YEAR, saving a whopping £305.98 over 12 months! That's around £1.38 I'll have to find a month instead of £26.99!! Happy happy happy!

Thanks for the tip Willowpop, I'll definitely be using that one from now on. I always forget something important be cause my stomach's twisting itself into knots and I just want to get off the phone as quickly as possible. That and the fact that my memory is horrendous.

Still haven't managed to call StepChange. I don't want to do it when madam is about as she's a nightmare when I'm on the phone, so I'll do that on Saturday morning when she's at her dads, and I've got some peace and quiet!

Speaking of madam, we played the Prioritisation game tonight. She did very well at identifying what were priorities, things that made our lives easier but that we could do without if it came down to it (car, internet etc), and things that make us happy but we can easily live without. She's now quite happy to get rid of Disney Channel. I did soften the blow by telling her that she could get most of the programmes that she likes on the internet, so that helped! Pab233, I will be looking into FreeSat, that's a great suggestion, thank you! I didn't realise you could use your existing Sky equipment - it'll make life a lot easier!

Got the PIN for Experian today, and immediately logged in to see my credit report. 'Eurgh' is all I have to say to that! I have to say, it hasn't really helped in any practical way at all.

MakeAChange, thanks for your kind words of support. I totally agree, this site is amazing. I intend on being here for a very long time! Good luck on your journey, I hope it all works out for you.

fatbelly

SandeC wrote: »

Got the PIN for Experian today, and immediately logged in to see my credit report. 'Eurgh' is all I have to say to that! I have to say, it hasn't really helped in any practical way at all.

Was there anything on there that you didn't expect to see or that you expected to see but wasn't there?

Now you have seen it (and I think you can save a copy of the pdf) there isn't much point in continuing with the £14.99 per month. They don't make it easy to cancel, though. Remember if you need to check in the future, you can get a statutory report from any of the three agencies for £2

SandeC

Not really fatbelly. I know I have debts totalling around £10000, but this ranges from 2004-present, so a lot of them will have dropped off my file, which is only showing £3000, all of which I knew about anyway. Thinking about it, I know of a further £6000ish, so it's only £1000 or so that I need to find. I'd better write those down before my memory fails me again!

Now that I know about the statutory report I will cancel. I'm not going to be applying for credit any time in the foreseeable future, so I can't see it changing other than for things to drop off. I'll see if I can save a copy though, just for reference.

fatbelly

SandeC wrote: »

I'll see if I can save a copy though, just for reference.

...and to give to your intermediary if you do a DRO.

Saves them a couple of weeks.

SandeC

Saving a couple of weeks would be great, thanks!

SandeC

I have gone through all the motions with StepChange!

A DRO was indeed recommended, and I now have to wait for all paperwork to come through to get the ball rolling with that.

I'm going to need to open yet another bank account, and while the DRO application is processed I need to get in touch with all of my creditors to let them know what is going on, and pay a nominal £1/month payment. Now need to raise the £90 application fee, so I feel a visit to the bank of mum will once again be required, though I'm pretty sure she won't mind as it's going to get this situation sorted once and for all. I now need to focus on living rather frugally in order to stick to a very tight budget.

Feeling so much better now, thank you all so much for your advice and support, it really has made the world of difference!

fatbelly

The timescale for getting a DRO is pretty short. Usually the 2 things that delay it are the client paying the fee and the intermediary getting a credit report. I don't really see the point in writing to creditors or paying them £1 in the short term