Hen Party Help!!

engineer_amy

Whatever you decide to do - if it involves collecting money in advance to pay for an event, make sure you have all your costs worked out properly (in total) and advised to the hens.


one of the worst hen parties that I was at involved a weekend away at a spa hotel. The organiser told us it was £200 each for the B&B for 2 nights and dinner and could we have this sent to her by X date. Soon after we got another message to say there was a stripper organised so that was another £20 each, then we were going to cover the cost of the bride's stay so that was another £20 each. Next there was a minibus organised to take us to the venue and we had to split the cost of that. The week before, we got another message to say she wanted another £25 to cover an outfit and gifts for the bride. So the weekend that people had maybe budgeted £300 for the accommodation and drinks ended up costing nearly £500 by the time all the "extras" were accounted for. It got to the point where you dreaded the next facebook message popping up, you wondered "what now"


I think if the organiser had thought a bit more about these things before jumping in and collecting money, the hens would not have been so peeved at constantly handing over money again and again, would have been able to budget a bit better, and maybe some hens would not have attended had they known the total price up front.


Are you sole bridesmaid, or is there another bridesmaid that you could draft in to help? You may be overwhelmed at the thought of what has to be done, but someone else to share the work, or think of things you have forgotten about.

Peccary

Agree with all above, first job is to find out what she wants, it is her party after all! Get a list of who she wants to invite (just friends, mothers?) Will there be guests who may wish to come for only part of it and need to be able to get away easily? If she is a mum, she may well want a night out (it's a special occasion after all!) Is there someone in the group who could help you with it?


I was very clear to the organisers (friends I socialise with a lot, not the bridesmaids) that I didn't want to go away and that I would be happy in my home city. I also didn't want anyone to go to any massive expense as most of our guests would be travelling for the wedding. I also didn't want any strippers or "hilarious" items!


They arranged a Prosecco and cake party at my house (with a few games), them we did cocktail making, went for dinner and finally to an indie club. It was just right for me! I think

jemb

I've organised 3, and helped with another 2. Firstly you need to know if the Bride wants any input. One of my friends wanted to do a bit of the planning but left the organising to me. You need a list from the bride of people she wants. Easiest way then is to start a Facebook group (or get numbers and emails from the bride) dont include her in the group as then there can be discussions and she doesnt know every little details! If you know everyone, you then know roughly whether you're inviting Mum, granny and the 16 year old neice to afternoon tea, or whether you're off to see a stripper and funny girls! I've been to only 1 hen that was willies and strippers!

After you've got the feelers out for numbers you can price things up. Hotel if neces, what you're doing with the day/ night. Then feedback to people with poss options like 1 is staying over with a cocktail lesson and a meal and club entrance. Option 2 is join us for the meal, option 3 etc etc. GET DEPOSITS!!!

You also need to know if you're happy buying things (gifts for the bride, sahses if you want them, badges, gift bags etc) out of your own pocket. Dont forget, once you've told the hens a price, they wont be for moving! If you're not, add it into their price.

Hope this helps and hasnt just generally waffled at you!

Jagraf

I had a meal in a local pub - £20 per head including drinks. Everyone came because it wasnt time consuming or expensive.

Simple is sometimes much nicer for the friendship group x

Topcat1982

lampshadebrown wrote: »

. The whole idea of getting wasted with lots of umm *RUDE* items scares me! Its not something I enjoy, and luckily, the bride does not want that sort of night either.

Most people don't do that anymore. Think afternoon tea or a daytime activity. You can have costumes but not cavewoman or schoolgirls.

BTW don't go into the trap of paying, then getting people to pay you back, because they will let you down and drop out

WannaBLoaded

Thing is with women, you can guarantee on a hen paty that is a little on the extravagant side, with lots of friends and maybe friends of friends tagging along, there will be a lot of 'did she apply her makeup with a trowel' 'whose that girl with the massive bum and fat calves' eventually as peoples tongues loosen after the alcohol has kicked in, a hair raising and har pulling cat fight will be on the cards.

Mayflower10cat

Thinking back to my Hen Party 25 years ago, it seems very tame but we had a lovely evening. Eight good friends enjoyed a lovely Indian meal at our favourite restaurant with all the staff wishing me well for the big day and then, us ladies walked a few hundred yards to my house where we enjoyed Champagne and increasingly rude stories!


I've heard of friends going away on Crafting Weekends, to learn weaving/pottery/painting and for me, that would be lovely. Doesn't have to be expensive nor abroad, but an enjoyable experience that the Bride to be will enjoy.

Faith177

WannaBLoaded wrote: »

You can't have a good hen party without strippers and alcohol.

A mans stag do isn't a stag do unless they end up in a strip club or a brothel.

You cant beat getting smashed and chucking up on the pavement.

My idea of sheer hell

My chief bridesmaid was told that if she booked me a stripper I'd walk out fricking hate them with a passion!

For mine a few of us went to TGI Friday's in Covent Garden we had a few drinks in my favourite pub the Maple Leaf before hand where my OH had arranged a bottle of bubbly to be delivered to us which was lovely.

We then went back to our local town and some of us chose to go to a bar afterwards that has a DJ but none of us got out of control in fact the next day I didn't even have a hangover.

As other have said a nice afternoon tea or a meal in a nice resturant.

Where abouts do you live OP?