When to move and if at all?

*Vikki*

Thffffdddddd

ognum

*Vikki* wrote: »

Hello all. This has been going through my mind all this year what to do. Right I shall try and explain things best I can.

Myself (29) Husband (30) bought our first house Feb 2014. Done the whole house up to just how we like it. We have a mortgage of 110 thousand pounds. Mortgage payments of £503 a month over 28 years (will look to reduce this to 25 soon I think)

We bring home net £3000 combined working both full time. We have no children at the moment.

Our house is 2 bedrooms we love the area and our house. Husband snores a lot, works nights and I apparently star fish in the bed so we have a room each.:rotfl:

We are looking to the future and are thinking of having children in the future at some point. I know you can't plan life too much but I was thinking or having two children. Starting at 32.

But this is the problem. I cannot sleep in same room as my husband (we have tried everything to stop him snoring) and I just can't get any sleep with him in my bed. SO where would a child go? Our bedrooms aren't massive, they do fit a double bed and double wardrobe but nothing more. So it would have to be a cot then a single bed for me in one room. Or bunk beds. So I am thinking should we just have one child? As would have room for them then. Or....

Or do we move and get a bigger house? But this would have to be for me to move a detached house or semi detached like we have. Which most around this area are 250k which is about £800 a month mortgage (we have 70k collateral if house sold for 180k which they are around here). Now this would be okay on our full time wages but not when I go part time. My sister does same job as me and she's part time and only earns about £700 a month. SO I really don't know what to do? If we decide to move it would be in 2018 I think, before I go part time so we can get the mortgage while I am on full time wages.

I am just worried I don't want us to get in to debt and get too much than we can afford. At same time will I be going crazy with two kids and a husband in such a small house? I don't know how next door manages as they have a two bed and a boy and a girl. Or am I wanting to much and setting myself up to fall?

All I want it a nice tidy 3 bed detached house in a nice area for 220k but nothing here in south of england for that price!

Well the answer is always compromise, we all have to do that.

Stay where you are, buy two single beds and some ear plugs and then you have spare room for your future children.

Cut out any extras you have save more and buy a larger three bed semi. Get a second, third job.

Move to another area where house prices are lower.

Try to be satisfied with what you can have and not get depressed about what you can't afford. 99% of people would like something extra, bigger garden, shorter commute, extra room, a holiday. That's life!

Thrugelmir

*Vikki* wrote: »

Mortgage payments of £503 a month over 28 years (will look to reduce this to 25 soon I think)

We bring home net £3000 combined working both full time. We have no children at the moment.

You mortgage is highly unlikely to remain at this level over 28 years. Interest rates will rise at some point in the future.

If a larger property is your dream along with starting a family. Start overpaying your existing mortgage immediately. By building equity you'll increase your options. Cutting back on expenditure and making sacrifices will also help you. You'll reap what you sow. No one is going to give you a free lunch.

ukmaggie45

Can't help with your housing dilemma, but please make sure your husband sees his GP about his snoring. If he has obstructive sleep apnoea and he's losing sleep because of snoring this is likely to impact on his health in general. There is help for snorers, but best to see GP rather than Dr Google.

Good luck with getting your husband to visit his GP - mine hates going!

Dird

When you're already married do you not think waiting until you're 32 is quite long to wait for kids?

There's no rush to move if you're set on that timeframe...I'd be more interested in overpaying your mortgage...£500/month is tiny when you have £3k net.

2nd bit I'd be working on is forcing yourself to sleep together...newlyweds already sleeping in separate rooms is so weird. In might be awkward at first but after a few rough nights I guess you'd be too tired to care. There's also ear muffs etc to block out noise. He could also see a doctor

NewShadow

If you do try earplugs, try a few different types.

My ex-OH snored and we were together for 8 years, so I feel your pain, but lying in bed was our time to talk about all the little things that had been niggling throughout the day, how we were, the little things we couldn't quite figure out - I wouldn't have traded that time for anything.

For me, the wax plugs worked best. They're wax with a fabric core - one, ripped in half and folded on itself was great. The silicon ones hurt my ears after a couple of weeks, and the hard plastic ones were all too big.

libf

There's a couple with three children in a two bed flat in my block. I assume that the 2 boys share the master bed, the girl has the small room and the parents sleep in the living room. There are ways to make things work.

boliston

Dird wrote: »

When you're already married do you not think waiting until you're 32 is quite long to wait for kids?

There's no rush to move if you're set on that timeframe...I'd be more interested in overpaying your mortgage...£500/month is tiny when you have £3k net.

2nd bit I'd be working on is forcing yourself to sleep together...newlyweds already sleeping in separate rooms is so weird. In might be awkward at first but after a few rough nights I guess you'd be too tired to care. There's also ear muffs etc to block out noise. He could also see a doctor

The OP is already 29 so 32 is only 3 years away - hardly a long time to wait for something as life changing as a sprog - why the hurry?

Never understood this obsession with sleeping in one bed together - most people will sleep far better in their own bed (in their own room ideally)

moneyistooshorttomention

boliston wrote: »

The OP is already 29 so 32 is only 3 years away - hardly a long time to wait for something as life changing as a sprog - why the hurry?

Never understood this obsession with sleeping in one bed together - most people will sleep far better in their own bed (in their own room ideally)

My thoughts exactly:T

It's all very romantic etc sleeping in one bed - but I suspect the reality of it (particularly as peoples bodies get older and more troublesome) on a long-term basis is not all its cracked up to be.

If I'd settled permanently with someone - I would have wanted a bedroom each. So that's 2 bedrooms to start off. Add in wanting 2 children - and that means 3 bedrooms certainly and a 4th one if the 2nd child is the opposite sex.

To me - 32 is the absolute ideal age to have a child/first child as the case may be. Old enough to have got yourselves established as a couple/to have developed as individuals/to have got a certain degree of finances sorted out.

32 + 22 years (allowing for if said child goes to University) = 54 years old

Second child at 34 = major child-bearing years done by 56 years old.

Seems quite good timing to me personally.

mumps

I always thought having separate rooms was more romantic, you know like a victorian novel, wife sitting brushing her hair at her dressing table and her husband coming in to say he will be visiting her room tonight. Very Gone With the Wind. If they are there every night it is all a bit scratching their bum and stealing the duvet.

ManuelG

mumps wrote: »

If they are there every night it is all a bit scratching their bum and stealing the duvet.

It's the wind, the terrible wind!