Reasonable Expenses

My son was 17 years old when he became a daddy. He was never in a relationship with the mum. He is now 21, has a decent but not well paid job, he looks after his son at least 2 full days and nights a week and takes him on holiday for at least 2 weeks every year and occasionally to a friends' caravan. This is over and above the usual 2 nights. Up until she went on maternity leave 3 months ago I looked after my grandson every day as well as the usual 2 nights, while she worked full time (I received no money for this but as he is my grandson I didn't expect nor want any payment, although a thank you from her would have been nice. She now has another baby and claims that this baby's dad, who she also was never in a relationship with, pays her £50 per week. We have no idea if that is true. She now wants my son to pay the same. There is no way he could afford that!
At the moment he has a small car and all the expense that comes with that to pay including the loan for it (he needs the car to get to and from work and also to pick up and drop off his son), he pays me board of £40 pw and also needs to go out once a week (I give him £30 for this ;) as I believe he is still a little boy who needs to socialise with adults and not just 4 year olds!). She said she is due at least half his wages but that would leave him with almost nothing :mad: How much is he entitled to keep for reasonable living expenses? He has a new girlfriend but they cannot afford a deposit on a flat as she wants so much money. We buy all my grandson's clothes, pay his (state) nursery fees along with any trips etc, look after him and take him wherever he needs to go as she does not have a car. She has passed her driving test but expected my son to pay for the lessons (I hope he didn't!).
Does anyone know of a website which could help us work out how much he should actually pay? We have looked at the web but it is really difficult to find a site which helps. Any help would be much appreciated :D
Ria :dance:

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
Charles M. Schulz
Wins since January 2014 Naked Wines - 6 bottles, Good Reads - Book

Comments

  • SeduLOUs
    SeduLOUs Posts: 2,171 Forumite
    So, am I right in understand that your son works full time and his total outgoings consist of £10 a week (as you give him £30 of his 'board' back) and the running costs of his car? He should have plenty left over...

    If they can't afford to save for deposit on a flat between two of them then they are dreaming if they think they can afford rent/bills/council tax etc, regardless of what he pays in child support.

    Anyway. Back to the question. An online calculator will tell you what he 'should' be paying. Try Google.
  • If giving her half his wages would leave him with virtually nothing then it suggests at present after he has paid for his board, car etc he still has over half his wage left. If you went on old CSA rates it would be 15% of his take home but the adjustments for two overnights would bring it down to about 11%. Current scheme is based on gross salary but amount works out much the same usually,
  • Guest101
    Guest101 Posts: 15,764 Forumite
    WYSPECIAL wrote: »
    If giving her half his wages would leave him with virtually nothing then it suggests at present after he has paid for his board, car etc he still has over half his wage left. If you went on old CSA rates it would be 15% of his take home but the adjustments for two overnights would bring it down to about 11%. Current scheme is based on gross salary but amount works out much the same usually,

    It varies when u exceed £800 per week quite a bit. But typical wage it's about the same like you say.
  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,544
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    RiaMac wrote: »
    We buy all my grandson's clothes, pay his (state) nursery fees along with any trips etc, look after him and take him wherever he needs to go as she does not have a car.

    If she wants the cash in her hand, your son (and you) might have to cut back on some of this spending.

    Have you tried the government site -
    https://www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance
  • theoretica
    theoretica Posts: 12,226
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    My understanding is that legally she can claim the sum from the calculator linked to above - in cash and not in kind. The assumption is that she has him 5 nights a week and so will pay 5/7 of his costs. So as said, if she insists on this you might need to cut back equivalently to only paying 2/7 of his costs for the 2 nights he is with his father.
    But a banker, engaged at enormous expense,
    Had the whole of their cash in his care.
    Lewis Carroll
  • SeduLOUs
    SeduLOUs Posts: 2,171 Forumite
    Presumably if the couple were still together you'd be more than happy to continue to provide clothes and lifts etc.

    Just because the law says you only have to give £x let's not all jump on that bandwagon, because spiting the ex girlfriend only ends up negatively impacting the child in the long run.

    I'm sure with a sensible conversation and reminding her that many of the benefits provided to the child are 'in kind' will allow you to come to a sensible agreement.

    However, if son has over half of his wages left after his outgoings, then perhaps the ex has a point - I don't think it's unreasonable to request for him to go above the legal minimum to provide more for the child he helped to create. Maybe from her point of view she can't afford a car because she's juggling a job and a baby, but she sees the father has barely any outgoings, lots of disposable income and a parent funded social life.
  • Jagraf
    Jagraf Posts: 2,462
    I've been Money Tipped!
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    Isn't it just a straightforward calculation, with adjustment for how many nights the NRP has the child, based on income (ad any other NRP children etc).

    I don't think its anything to do with how much you babysit, how much another father pays, etc.

    If at all concerned, just do the calculation and go the formal route.

    What another father pays for another child is immaterial to your sons situation.
    Never again will the wolf get so close to my door :eek:
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