I am currently in a dispute with someone who is very aggressive and intimidating. It is impossible to state my point of view with this person with out them flying off the handle and stating that i talk rubbish ect and dismissing my point of views and becoming aggressive, such as standing in front of my / blocking my way and demanding money and been in my face.

the person can be calm at first and seem reasonable, but soon as they get me in the same room and i state my point of argument it quickly turns to aggression and intimidation

the money that the person wants is what they call back pay plus interest for there help which they gave me 2 years ago off there own back. I have in turn been respectful and helpful to them, but that doesn't seem to be enough the person is demanding cash because they know i have money.

I do need to communicate with this person as they have some possessions of mine in their property.

The person will not sort out with me directly how to go about the situation moving forward with out making threats and intimidating me.

Its not a case of just getting the police around and get my things, because there is other issues such as the money he demands that he will be wanting to discuss and what ever else.

I am at the point where if i do have to speak with him in a room i will need police presence with me for witness and protection.

Although this will probably not go to court,, I wondering also if i could get a solicitor to act on my behalf to communicate with the person, a kind of mediator, someone in the middle to pass messages back and forward, in writing and in a controlled way.

Is there such thing ???


  • Lily-Rose_3
    Lily-Rose_3 Posts: 2,732 Forumite
    I would go to the CAB. They will be able to advise you I expect.
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  • duchy
    duchy Posts: 19,511 Forumite
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    If you get the police involved to go and get your possessions (presumably this is an ended relationship) with you because you are afraid he will kick off -they will do so. They won't be interested in him claiming you owe him money as that is civil law and they'll tell him to deal with it seperately. Provided it is only your own stuff and not anything deemed as jointly owned it should be straight forward.

    Your police station will have a domestic abuse officer who will be able to advise you.
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  • Gavin83
    Gavin83 Posts: 8,755 Forumite
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    Who is this person in relation to you? How much do they claim you owe them and what for? What are the value of the goods they have which you own?

    Of course you don't have to deal with the person direct, you can tell them to stop speaking to you and if they continue you'll go to the police for harrassment. Also tell them if they feel you owe them money to speak to a solicitor. However I feel there's more to this than you've told us.
  • System
    System Posts: 178,102 Community Admin
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    I have in turn been respectful and helpful to them, but that doesn't seem to be enough the person is demanding cash because they know i have money.

    Well if you have the money and you can pay the person back what is the dispute about?
  • Homeownertobe
    Why don't you pay them back what you owe instead of trying to avoid it?
  • McKneff
    McKneff Posts: 38,831 Forumite
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    The OP disputes that he does in fact owe the money.

    How much are we talking about here please.
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  • jobbingmusician
    Try googling a local mediation service?
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  • Gingernutty
    Gingernutty Posts: 3,769 Forumite
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    So he helped you out a couple of years ago and is now demanding 'wages' with interest?

    Isn't this demanding money with menaces?

    If it is, this is a police matter.
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  • Randomjargon
    Nah...doesn't seem real
  • TBagpuss
    TBagpuss Posts: 11,205 Forumite
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    OK, to answer your question, yes, a solicitor would be able to write them a letter on your behalf.

    You could also consider writing them a letter yourself,. making a specific proposal about getting yor things back (this could, for instnace, involve you sggsting 3 potential times/dates when you, accompanied by a friend, or a friend acting on your behalf) could attend to collec tthe stuff.

    Deal with the money in a separate letter.

    Keep eveything as factual and unemotional as possible.

    For instance, in relatin to the money you might say something like.

    "When we spoke on Monday you told me that you wanted me to payu you back the £100 you gave me in 2013 and also to pay you £50 in interest.

    I accept that you gave me £100 in 2013. However, at the time, you clearly indicated to me that this was a gift. At no time was there any indication that you expected me to repay this money to you.
    I am prepared, as a gesture of gooddwill, to pay you back £100 but as there was never any agreement with regadrd to interest i will not pay anything in addition to the original sum." and then set out how / when you will pay e.g "If you let me have your bank details in writing I will set up a bank transfer" or "I will not be able to pay the full amount in one payment but will let you have a cheque for £25 today, and with send you three further cheques over the next 3 weeks."
    All posts are my personal opinion, not formal advice Always get proper, professional advice (particularly about anything legal!)
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