A bit like a Robin Cook novel . .

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

OldMotherTucker wrote: »

I spoke to SIL on the weekend - I did ask f she had gone back to the GP to discuss the scan and she had. The GP is referring her for a more detailed scan - so it would appear there is something worth investigating.

I also asked her what she hoped to achieved and she simply said 'the truth and an apology!'


I remember the birth of my first child was complicated and not brilliantly managed resulting in me staying in Hospital for an additional 5 days after my son went home. I had 2 follow up meetings (one on discharge and one 6 months later) to discuss what had happened, why it had gone that way and why those decisions were made. It obviously helped me a great deal because I let go of that part of the experience and moved on with my life. If I recounted all the details, it would feel like it happened to someone else!


It's sad that there is such a lack of support for a woman's intuition - I bet if she posted on here that she had 'a feeling' her OH was cheating on her, there would have been a complete different set of responses:(

Well, yes, of course there would be - if somebody's cheating now, than something can be done about it. Had it been a suspicion that somebody she left slept with somebody else immediately she chucked him out thirty years ago, the answers would have been very similar; you didn't want him anymore, you're not going to find out for certain and perhaps counselling would be more useful than obsessing over events that may or may not have happened in the first place.


The possibility that she woke up after the operation to be told 'we found a massive tumour filled with teeth and hair, but because we hadn't asked you first whether you just wanted to be unable to get pregnant due to there not being a tube there or unable to get pregnant because we've taken a huge tumour out with one of the two ovaries attached to it, we haven't dealt with it, so you need to wait another nine months for another surgery' or 'whilst we were clipping your tubes, we found this horrible looking thing which we thought telling you all about would really help you to deal with your post natal depression', would have been far worse.

When she signed the consent form, she most likely signed a form saying that she consented to any other necessary procedures found to be needed during the course of the operation; up to and including hysterectomy. Not remembering doing so or specifically being told what happened (as you said she had severe PND at the time) during the procedure does not mean she needs an apology, as they could well have fully informed her before and after the event and she just didn't remember, thanks to medication/lack of sleep/anaesthesia.


She can submit a request to the hospital for all her notes that they still hold. If they still have them (they'll be in storage somewhere miles away if they do after this length of time), there may be notes on the operation and histology in there.

If she reads that it wasn't there or it was removed for genuine medical reasons and there's a signed consent form in there, together with other documentation to show that she was made fully aware of everything - will she still be expecting an apology? Or will she be apologising to everybody else?