Petrified of giving birth!

sarahmoon_2

Hi all, just want to get it all out really. I'm 37+4 with my fourth child and this time for some stupid reason I am absolutely s!!t scared of giving birth. I'm booked in for a home birth because of a bad experience at hospital last time and my gas and air arrived this morning. I've done nothing but bubble since then!! I know I should be rational, I've done this three times and it wasn't that bad, sore yes, painful yes, but forgotton about the minute they were all born. But this time I am just so scared! I just feel pretty alone, everytime I leave the house someone asks how long etc etc, and I feel I can't explain to anyone how scared I am as they would just think I'm mad having done it already. Anyone else feel similar?

pnq06

aww bless you hun :grouphug:

I'm preggers with my second and I am in the same position... Can't explain why, its strange because I didn't an eyelid with my first!!!
Maybe its because I feel like I have to do it natural again in case I feel like a failure or maybe that I might need to have a c-section due to a low lying placenta?

Have you tried talking to your MW or partner?

mummy_Jay

Big Hug

Bless you, you will be fine but I think you need to talk to your midwife about these worries.

If you had your first 3 in hospital, then maybe its just different and thats whats scaring you? Maybe you need to workout what is it that scares you? Or is it just a general panic? When I had my son, I got worried about living on my own and how I was going to get to the hospital. (I came very close to driving myself)

You will be fine, think positive.

pnq06

Just a thought- are you worried about something going wrong during the home birth?

emma_b_4

hiya
i am also scared - its my first though and just dont know what to expect really. everyone just says "are you excited" and not really "are you petrified?"!!
im sending you big hugs, good luck with the home birth
(ps the race is still on LOL!)

sarahmoon_2

pnq06 wrote: »

Just a thought- are you worried about something going wrong during the home birth?

I suppose I am although all other three births were normal (i.e. no need for c section) the only thing that went wrong last time was being given an epidural (under pressure as I hadn't wanted one) and my body reacted quite badly to it. I have discussed things with my midwife and she seems to think I'm a good candidate for a home birth, but I can change my mind at anytime up to the last minute.

I'm probably just panicing really. I'm beginning to think I might be happier in hospital, it might just feel safer.

sarahmoon_2

emma_b wrote: »

hiya
i am also scared - its my first though and just dont know what to expect really. everyone just says "are you excited" and not really "are you petrified?"!!
im sending you big hugs, good luck with the home birth
(ps the race is still on LOL!)

Emma, anytime now would be good for me lol, I just want it over with!!

pnq06

I first decided on a home birth because I didn't want to feel pressured into having drugs if it looked like I wasn't coping in the hospital...
When I had DS I kept repeating 'I'm dying, I'm f**king dying and you b**tards don't care' :eek: (of course I didn't mean it!!!)
And then they told me how close they were to sticking an epidural in me!!!

But I decided against a home birth because the walls are paper thin (don't think I'd be able to face the neighbours) and the hospital is 30 mins away if anything went wrong.

Sorry hun I don't think I'm comforting you

msmicawber

No, you're not strange. I was more scared of the labour in my second pregnancy than my first. The first time I had no idea what to expect, and the second time I did. Also you get less rest for subsequent pregnancies, which adds to the tiredness and anxiety.

Do you have specific fears to do with things that could go wrong, or the logistics of how you'll manage with labour and your existing children in the same house, etc. etc. or is it a more general fear?

I agree that you should speak to your midwife about this. I think the raging hormones make it harder to rationalise and calm down, but your midwife should be able to help. I got my knickers in a terrible twist about suddenly being told that I couldn't have my son at home a few days before he was due. It wasn't the change of plans that upset me, but the way the midwife spoke to me. I tried to explain that it was her rudeness and tone that had upset me, but my OH and GP just kept reiterating the safety reasons why it would be better to have the baby in hospital and I didn't feel anyone was listening to me or understanding, which made me worse. In the end, I broke down in front of one of the other midwives and she actually listened to what I was saying and showed me some kindness and the mood lifted.

Is there a particular midwife in your team that you feel most comfortable with? If so, please contact her and explain your fears as best you can and let her help you.

Best wishes.

sarahmoon_2

pnq06 wrote: »

I first decided on a home birth because I didn't want to feel pressured into having drugs if it looked like I wasn't coping in the hospital...
When I had DS I kept repeating 'I'm dying, I'm f**king dying and you b**tards don't care' :eek: (of course I didn't mean it!!!)
And then they told me how close they were to sticking an epidural in me!!!

But I decided against a home birth because the walls are paper thin (don't think I'd be able to face the neighbours) and the hospital is 30 mins away if anything went wrong.

Sorry hun I don't think I'm comforting you

Lol, I love what you said. I remember with my first half way through saying can we just go home now please, I don't want the baby now!!!

The hospital is about 30 mins away from me aswell, and although there is only one neighbour (semi detached) I am concerned about her hearing me abusing OH for getting me into this state aswell.

rchddap1

I remember with my first half way through saying can we just go home now please, I don't want the baby now!!!

Snap.

I was scared....but once it was over I had this little bundle and it didn't seem to matter anymore.

Another thing I kept doing was saying sorry. Don't know why...just felt the need to appologise to everyone.

I think any woman who isn't scared of giving birth has a few screws loose in the head. Don't worry...you're just being normal.