Convincing My Girlfriend To Cut Back

sweetilemon

So from what I can gather you both have separate money, she just expects you to pay more? I would say if it's what she's used to, and she knows she just asks numerous times then you give in the best thing to do would be to have a conversation, tell her you need to cut back as you can no longer afford things. That's completely different than being tight. You can still do nice things for her. If she doesn't accept it when you say no after that she's not worth it.

Pollycat

SpekySquarehead wrote: »

Thanks guys for your advice, it's really appreciated and helped so much to put things into perspective.

Thank you.

So does she already know about the change in your financial circumstances?

How are you going to handle things now you've got things into perspective?

VfM4meplse

It sounds to me like your GF has no concept of money: having got herself into debt she's got no hesitation in spending your money rather than facing the reality of her circumstances.

Insisting on takeaway food when a simple meal at home would have done makes her sound like a spoilt brat. If you are so scared of her you cannot stand your ground like an adult, you are better off without her.

indiepanda

Just be very honest with her about the change in your situation. If she doesn't understand then you really are better off without her.

I know some women have strangely old fashioned notions about men picking up the lion's share of expenses when dating, but most of us have moved into the 21st century and expect to pay our way. I don't really like it if a guy tries to pay all the time - makes me feel like he thinks my feelings are for sale, or that he doesn't recognise I am a smart independent women capable of earning my own money and standing on my own two feet.

My boyfriend and I take it in turns to pay when we go out, and have done since our first date. His financial situation has changed in that time and we've tended to go for cheaper options when going out since, and that really doesn't bother me. It's his company I want, not fancy food.