DLA for children with behavioural problems

getzls

_shel wrote: »

I know people whose kids have long standing diagnosis of autism or adhd being refused with similar behaviour

My Son has ASD and gets the high rate of DLA.

tomtontom

CAMHS are stretched to breaking point, *if* this is just a case of stroppy pre teen please don't waste their time. Every unsuitable referral takes resources from a child that desperately needs it.

For those suggesting 11 is too early to be acting like a teenager, children develop far earlier these days, especially girls. My gynae specialises in menstrual disorders such as PMS/ PMDD and has several "pre teen" patients.

jak

Cahms are stretched that's true but if the cause of the behavior is due to a disability or emotional needs then they are best placed to help. That is their job. Also a paediatrician May be able to see the child at a behavior clinic. It is very hard to tell with children Why they behave in a certain way. My son was refered due to behavior but it turned out he's got an autistic spectrum disorder.

chanz4

Camhs will not get involved unless self harm, or very very violent trust me they are stretched.


Ask the school to get a physiatrist todo a report

teddysmum

I recently attended a CAMHS preliminary meeting with a young relative and parent. We,too , were told that due to having very limited resources, only children in danger of self harm or harming someone else was likely to be helped; very different from 20 or so years ago, when the equivalent service helped all comers.

[Deleted User]

I think it might be a good idea to do some research and see if there are any symptoms that might lead to a possible diagnosis. ASD and ADHD are easy ones to look up.

But also talk to your son.., be a detective, talk as if you need to work together to find out what is causing these behavioural issues so they can be helped. Your son must be very miserable (no one enjoys behaving like this).

Are there problems in school as well?

Having said that though, this doesn't imply anything - my son has ASD.., but only showed a little bit of the behaviour I was seeing at home. I used to dread hearing the front door slam lol. And even though he had the diagnosis at 11, my parenting was still blamed for a lot of his behaviours. This was some years ago.., now my younger son has also been diagnosed, I find psychiatric services are a lot more knowledgeable and understanding.

It could be a condition causing the behavioural issues, it could be parenting.., but you really do need to start figuring out which one if you can.

I do think you need to halt ideas of claiming DLA and figure out causes of the behaviour (with my son a lot of it was school) and then you can figure out ways of changing the behaviour. If he came and talked to you instead of ripping off, it probably would prevent some if not all of the damage.

When the door slammed, I discovered after a bad day at school where he was called names, and treated rather badly, I could stop meltdowns in seconds by asking if he wanted a hug (and giving a hug). Then he'd calm down and we could talk. It didn't change what was happening at school (we eventually moved and he went to a better school) but it helped him cope. His anger was just 'why am I being treated this way.., am I so terrible?'

swt4ajt

Hey everyone!

Thanks for the replies they are very thoughtout!

Yes we have been dealing with schools and camhs for a while, we have also been involved on the webster straten incredible years course to better manage his behaviour but he twigs on to what we are doing by encouraging him to channel his energy into something else and then he ends up doing something else to be distruptive

We have 3 children and tbh we have been praised by the organisations involved on how well we cope in the situation. The other 2 children are fine with the normal child behaviour (the middle aged child is 10 and is always hyper lol and then the youngest has his own set of issues with growth and development)

We have tried all sorts like encouraging positive behaviour to reward charts, giving him extra responsibility around the house.

We did move schools as we thought he was getting bullied and also the youngest was getting bullied. The behaviour got better but after a couple of weeks into the new routine of the new school he started again, and now with going secondary school the exact same, was ok for a couple of weeks and it flared up again.

He did have a psychiatrist at one point but they put me and my wife into the webster stratten group

Also for anyone saying it might be a case of pre-teen stroppyness we have been dealing with this for 6 years! if it is pre-teen stroppyness he has started very very early!

swt4ajt

Also there is no medical evidence to prove why he is like this, we have been to the docs and they refered us to camhs and we have always been passed from pillar to post

swt4ajt

And actually thanks to @jak and anyone else we have already been through the parenting courses and there was nothing that they taught that we wasnt doing anyway!

And I came here for advice not to be told I need a parenting course it would be very nice if people would stop being so quick to be judgemental! obviously something wrong with my parenting tactics if 2 children are ok :S

Poppie68

swt4ajt wrote: »

And actually thanks to @jak and anyone else we have already been through the parenting courses and there was nothing that they taught that we wasnt doing anyway!

And I came here for advice not to be told I need a parenting course it would be very nice if people would stop being so quick to be judgemental! obviously something wrong with my parenting tactics if 2 children are ok :S

If you are referring to jaks suggestion of a parenting course I really don't think they are trying to imply you are a bad parent as jaks has got a child with similar issues I read her post as being helpful, and I assume the parenting course in question is for parents of children with behavioural difficulties.
Don't be so defensive as there are many experienced parents in the same position as you on this forum who will give you excellent advice.
Good luck