We’d like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum.
This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are – or become – political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.
📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!
Poor Treatment of Elderly Relative - Suggestions?
Comments
-
I can't see why this is bad?
Nurses are overworked, and have to deal with A LOT of elderly people day in day out (I have similar experience). They are probably going into autopilot mode when they hear the words "almost blind and pretty deaf". Can't blame them for speaking to the person there who looks like they are supporting their relative.
Rude or not, I'd rather deal with you than your "almost blind and pretty deaf" relative SIMPLY BECAUSE I would want to limit the number of misunderstandings and ensure that the best level of support is given. That's not a bad thing....
Try speaking on the phone to a large number of 75+ year olds who are having problems adjusting to new technology (against their will) and who are actually distressed over it. Add in the occasional deafness, confusion and isolation and things get a bit dicey
0 -
She shouldn't have had to but seen as the nurse decided to speak to her not the patient I would have said something about him being ignored.Why should another adult have to reiterate what a senior adult has stated?Like as though they are a child that's to be spoken up for.
People take another person with them to appointments for various reasons. I've recently had a lot of medical appt. and have taken my OH with me for some of them. Not because I can't speak for myself but afterwards to talk about what was said and for him to have from the horse's mouth what was said and for us to consider/discuss what treatment I should have. It's interesting how the professionals differ in how they deal with my OH presence. The consultant mainly talked to me, I think OH asked her some questions. The specialist nurse had more of a 3 way conversation with us and it was much more informal.
~Laugh and the world laughs with you, weep and you weep alone.~:)
0 -
Not a satisfactory situation but I agree that it is up to your relative to complain.
If you complain on his behalf it is confirming he is less able to deal with his own affairs.
You also complied with the nurse by answering instead of redirecting her to your relative.
Although you say he is pretty upset by this presumably, he did not voice any concern at the time either.
I do not see why you want to report the nurse but not 'drop her in it'. How can she be advised of the complaint, and allowed to give her side of it, unless she is ' dropped in it'.0 -
Very many thanks for all the responses; hugely appreciated.
To address one or two of the points made, firstly I'm afraid I just sat there like a rabbit in headlights pathetically hoping my relative hadn't noticed (he is registered blind as well as pretty deaf).
In mitigation, I also didn't want to make things worse by drawing attention to the fact that the nurse clearly thought he was deficient in some way. However, it was the first thing he mentioned as we departed, and he made it pretty clear he was not happy, mentioning a Radio 4 programme called "Does He Take Sugar?" I can't come up with a way he can complain personally, as he has no phone (can't hear a thing on the phone) and can't see to write a letter. Short of wheeling him back, and probably adding to his humiliation, it's down to me doing something.
I attend the appointments at his request so that we can mull over everything said and, between us, remember all the instructions given, which can be pretty complicated and are often garbled.
I didn't say I wanted to report the nurse. I rather lamely asked for suggestions, plus wanted to gauge the opinions of others not involved, in case we were over-reacting. And for that, I thank you all again.0 -
I can't come up with a way he can complain personally, as he has no phone (can't hear a thing on the phone) and can't see to write a letter. Short of wheeling him back, and probably adding to his humiliation, it's down to me doing something.
On a couple of occasions, I wrote letters for my parents, printed them out and they signed them (but you could pp on your relative's behalf if he can't manage that but have his name printed at the bottom of the letter).
As the letter will come from him, the reply will also have to be addressed to him rather than you, as his 'carer'.0 -
Very many thanks for all the responses; hugely appreciated.
To address one or two of the points made, firstly I'm afraid I just sat there like a rabbit in headlights pathetically hoping my relative hadn't noticed (he is registered blind as well as pretty deaf).
In mitigation, I also didn't want to make things worse by drawing attention to the fact that the nurse clearly thought he was deficient in some way. However, it was the first thing he mentioned as we departed, and he made it pretty clear he was not happy, mentioning a Radio 4 programme called "Does He Take Sugar?" I can't come up with a way he can complain personally, as he has no phone (can't hear a thing on the phone) and can't see to write a letter. Short of wheeling him back, and probably adding to his humiliation, it's down to me doing something.
I attend the appointments at his request so that we can mull over everything said and, between us, remember all the instructions given, which can be pretty complicated and are often garbled.
I didn't say I wanted to report the nurse. I rather lamely asked for suggestions, plus wanted to gauge the opinions of others not involved, in case we were over-reacting. And for that, I thank you all again.
I see no issue with making a complaint on his behalf. My sister once made a complaint about nursing staff on my behalf due to the way a midwife spoke to me on the ward after I had my DD. She needed to be told what she had said was unacceptable and tbh I didn't have the energy to complain. ~Laugh and the world laughs with you, weep and you weep alone.~:)
0 -
But she didn't continue in the same manner. She went from mumbling in the direction of her computer screen to addressing all her questions to me.
What I meant was that after you made the comment she started talking directly to you so therefore may have misheard you.It's someone else's fault.0
This discussion has been closed.
Confirm your email address to Create Threads and Reply
Categories
- All Categories
- 352.2K Banking & Borrowing
- 253.6K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 454.3K Spending & Discounts
- 245.2K Work, Benefits & Business
- 600.9K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 177.5K Life & Family
- 259K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 16K Discuss & Feedback
- 37.7K Read-Only Boards