Cat being stolen by neighbour opposite!

vrose1982

Back in October I got another female cat from the blue cross to joing my exisiting female cat. I took the time to introduce them and although they were not best buds, they tolerated each other. In the summer just gone, the new cat went missing for 5 days, she would come back on a Thurs or Fri and then go again on the Sunday. This happened about 3 or 4 times. I posted leaflets and when she came back i fitted her with a collar.
I think she might be a bit scared of using my cat flap in case the other at is the other size...she uses it very rarely, preferring to go in/out of the front door.
About 4 weeks ago I got a note posted through my door from a neighbour opposite saying they had a 'problem' with new cat. That she kept coming into their house and mentioned that I am not at home a lot (i work full time and happened to have been away a couple of times over the summer). I apologised and left it at that. It then transpired that they had let her in (not that she was going in through an exisiting cat flap) and they had brought food especiialy for her as she always seemed hungry. What cat will turn down food even if they are full!! So not only are they lettting her her in but they are also feeding her.
So I started to watch new cat and as soon as i let her out she goes over and sits on their step. I have started to keep her in during the night but as soon as i let her out (after feeding her)she goes to sit on their step. And i'm sure as soon as i go to work the lady (who is retired or doesn't work) lets her in. When i return from work i call her in and nothing, then i look out of the window and see the lady let her out so i call again and she comes in.
I'm at a loss as to what i can do....both me and my Dad have spoken to them on numberous occasions asking them not to let her in (even if she is out in the rain) as she will not learn that it is not her house, but they continue to do so, saying that they won't see her out in rain/cold.
I have even had to go round after 10pm to collect her as she asleep on their sofa!! They must be able to hear me calling her in as i purposely do it loud and towards their house!
I have tried to get the cats to get along and for the best part they do, they don't fight constatly they just toloerate each other. I even brought one of the feliway plug ins.

Please can anyone help with advice?
Victoria

TBagpuss

You mention that you have asked them not to let her in, have you also specifically asked them not to feed her?

If not, i would do that. I think if they are not prepared to listen to you, I think you have several options.

One option is to talk to them, say that they seem to be trying to adopt your cat, and suggest to them that they do so formally. Ask them to reimburse you for the blue cross adoption fees and accept that the cat has adopted them.

The second option is to talk to them. Explain that you are not happy with them feeding your cat and encouraging it into their home,. Explain that the cat is settling in and needs time to adjusts, and that they are causing problems. Give them information about where you got the cat and suggest that they adopt their own if they would like a pet.
Then every single time you get home, go to their house, knock on the door and collect you cat,. Don't call it. Go to their house as the first port of call every single time. The 'nuisance value' may encourage them to change.

A third option would be to talk to them. Stress that you understand that they feel sorry for the cat and like having her company, but that she is your cat. Ask them not to feed her, as you want to make sure that she doesn't get overweight (if necessary, and if it true, explain that she is greedy / was rescued so will *always* eat if offered food and that it is really important that she is not allowed to overeat), tell them what time you get in from work and ask them to make sure that they put her out of their house by that time each day. That way, she (and they) can have the pleasure of each others company when you are not around, she gets some quiet space of her own away from the other cat, and you get her when you are home.

We used to have a cat who just plain liked people. He would go and hang out with the retired couple next door but one when we were out. They liked having him round, as they felt it would be irresponsible to get a new pet of their own which was likely to outlive them, eveyone was happy.

You could also try changing your cats own routine, maybe giving her treats when you get home from work so she learns to associate you coming home with her getting treats and attention, and may get into a habit of ensuring she is on the doorstep waiting for you when you get home.

finally, you could try keeping her in all together for a few weeks, or getting a cat flap with a timer which limits the times she can go out, o encourage her to stay closer to home or to only go out when you are out, but she may not adapt to that.

krlyr

You let your cat out to roam. I'm afraid in my eyes that means you're accepting the risks that come along with it..including issues like this with neighbours.

If you want to have 100% control of where you pet goes, then you will need to know where she is 100% of the time. Making her a housecat, cat-proofing the garden, a cat pen/run you could allow access to via a flap, etc.

If you don't agree with the above and want a cat that roams, then you will have to accept that it will roam where it wants..which is likely to the neighbour with the warm house and supply of food. They're not acting illegally if the cat chooses to come to them, and if you've asked them to stop and they haven't, it looks like you're going to have an on-going battle on your hands until you break the cycle by keeping the cat away/in.


However, given that your cat seems quite fond of them and doesn't get along with your existing cat..have you given any thought to either leaving the situation as-is (cat gets a respite from other cat, neighbours get a cat to fuss over) or perhaps even rehoming the cat to the neighbour if they want a pet so badly?

tanith

We had the same problem with a neighbour a few years ago in the end my husband had to go and just tell her to STOP! Letting the cat in and feeding her, the lady wasn't very happy but he was quite firm and said look this is our cat and we are very fond of her and you encouraging her away so please STOP! We also had another cat and they never got on but in my opinion that is beside the point.

glentoran99

Don't all cats do this?

bouicca21

My last cat had a very comfortable second home just up the street. It didn't bother us, and it didn't bother the neighbours that he had adopted. Once we realised what was happening we just all had a good laugh and decided that he was cleverer than we were.

helcat26

You also need to look at it from the cat's perspective.
It is left alone all day, does not feel comfortable in a house that is a territory being defended by another cat, and is probably bored.
Some cats do not like other cats and some like attention from people.


Have you given it a part of your home that is just for it- not the other cat? For all you know when you are out the first cat may chase it out.


Are you happy with the neighbours giving it attention during the day if they do not feed it?

Slinky

Unfortunately cats know nothing about their 'ownership'. If it suits them to make friends with somebody else, or move in with somebody else, that's what they'll do. Annoying though you may find it, the only way you'll solve this is either to shut the cat in permanently (which isn't fair on the cat, particularly as it doesn't get on with the other cat), or make living with you a more attractive option for her. Surely you want her to have a happy life, if she prefers visiting somewhere else that makes her happy, is that a bad thing?

fierystormcloud

helcat26 wrote: »

You also need to look at it from the cat's perspective.
It is left alone all day, does not feel comfortable in a house that is a territory being defended by another cat, and is probably bored.
Some cats do not like other cats and some like attention from people.

Have you given it a part of your home that is just for it- not the other cat? For all you know when you are out the first cat may chase it out.

Are you happy with the neighbours giving it attention during the day if they do not feed it?

This. ^^^ X 10. There is a myth that cats are independent, they don't need affection, they don't need love, they are fine alone. Not true.

They are sweet and loving creatures that need company. Yes, they will wander off for a bit occasionally, and sleep half the day, and at a push, they will be OK without you for a day or two here and there, but they need to know you are there when they want you, at least some of the time. The owners being away all day, every day, is not always conducive to a cats wellbeing or happiness.

When I am doing the garden, my 2 cats follow me about like shadows; they love being around me. And if I pop to bed for an hour in the afternoon, they come into the bedroom and stay with me. They love company.

Sorry to say this, but if cats are alone from dawn til dusk, they WILL possibly go and find another home.

Cats are a 'if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with' kind of animal. If you are rarely there, then don't be surprised if they move on, especially if someone else shows them love, and time, and affection, and especially if they are feeling intimidated by another cat of yours.

I know you meant well, but getting another cat, when you have one already (that you have had a while,) doesn't always work out. When a new cat is introduced, the older cat is not necessarily going to get on with the new one. And it sounds like your older cat is not going to take to the new one. Also, it sounds like your new one isn't overly happy at your house.

I would just leave the cat to decide which family she wants to be honest. Seems like this family like her, and she likes them.

Sorry.

fizz

Your cat is not being stolen-your cat is just doing what it is mean't to do.

If you can't cope with this...get a Goldfish....sorry.

fizz.x

thistledome

I feel sorry for your cat. It obviously prefers a quieter life as an "only cat" at your neighbour's house. Why not just let it be? If you're paying for insurance or medication or whatever and this situation is leaving you out of pocket, why not ask your neighbours if they want to adopt your cat properly?

I think you're working yourself into a lather of righteous indignation at your neighbour ignoring your requests, instead of looking at this from the cat's point of view. Using words like "stolen" and deliberately shouting for the cat in their direction, knowing it won't come, makes it sound like you're getting a bit of an obsession about "winning" against this neighbour.

Btw, I haven't owned a cat for a long time, but when I did my cats never overate, because they weren't unhappy and lonely like yours is.

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but your cat would obviously rather sit out in the rain than go into your house. That's not a happy cat IMO.