How can we Protect my Sister's Inheritance

willieormandsheroes

Briefly.

My mother has an inoperable brain tumor and is in a care home (in Scotland) with perhaps months to live; her cognitive function is now very severely diminished; my father is deceased. There are three children - myself, my brother and my sister. In the event of my mother's passing we expect her estate to be divided equally between the three of us; the estate (inc house) probably amounts to about £350,000. My brother has Power of Attorney.

The issue and my question relates to my sister's circumstances. She is married to a very controlling and devious man, a man who controls every aspect of her life - including her own money, and at the moment even limits access to money to enable my sister to travel to visit our mother. He regularly locks her out the house and threatens to divorce her.

My brother and I are concerned that on my mother's death, my sister's husband will attempt to divorce her and claim half of her inheritance. He is the sort of guy who could set my sister up so that he could make a case for the divorce, even although she would have simply and innocently gone alone with him as he did so - she is not a very strong woman and is and has been over the years easily and cruelly manipulated by him. Unfortunately she probably could not come up with grounds for her to divorce him - even if we could persuade her to do so and I am not convinced we could - the control that he has over her.

We want my sister to be able to build a bit of life for herself with her inheritance - and that is what my parents would wish - and the prospect of her husband benefitting from it - and potentially divorcing her and walking off with half of it - is distressing and something we desperately want to protect my sister from.

What can we do?

thorsoak

Is there a possibility that you could set up a Trust for her? With you and her brother as the sole trustees? With income only for her (and any children that she may have?)

Mojisola

willieormandsheroes wrote: »

My mother has an inoperable brain tumor and is in a care home (in Scotland) with perhaps months to live; her cognitive function is now very severely diminished; my father is deceased.

There are three children - myself, my brother and my sister. In the event of my mother's passing we expect her estate to be divided equally between the three of us;

My brother and I are concerned that on my mother's death, my sister's husband will attempt to divorce her and claim half of her inheritance.

We want my sister to be able to build a bit of life for herself with her inheritance - and that is what my parents would wish - and the prospect of her husband benefitting from it - and potentially divorcing her and walking off with half of it - is distressing and something we desperately want to protect my sister from.

What can we do?

Nothing. If she is entitled to one-third of the estate, that's what the executor will have to give her.

I can't see why such a controlling man would divorce his victim. If he stays married to her, he will have access to all the money.

The best way to help your sister is to get her to talk to Women's Aid and help her escape from this marriage.

willieormandsheroes

@Thorsoak - maybe we could - something to look into thankyou.

And thanks @Mojisola - no issue with my sister getting one third of estate; it what happens then that we are concerned about. I have given my sister details of a local Women's support group but she hasn't got in touch with them - she probably wouldn't dare and he doesn't let her out of the house without knowing precisely where she is going (which is basically just to the shops for food). We want our sister to have control over her inheritance - even if she stays with him or he doesn't divorce her. We can't bear the thought of him staying with her and having control over all her inheritance - but he knows we would make life very difficult for him. That's why we fear he'd divorce her and disappear off with half.

jackyann

It is not clear as to whether your sister sees herself as being controlled.

If she is unhappy in her relationship but has not yet felt able to walk away, then all she has to do is set up a bank account in her name only. Executors pay the money in. She is under no obligation to inform her husband about this (assuming this is the UK) - she can leave the paperwork with you or someone else she trusts, whilst she organises her exit plan.
If you are the executors, you could just leave her share in the Probate Account for a while (as long as you have clear paper work)
If her husband quizzes her, she can say that things are taking a long time, she is not sure what is going on etc. But of course, there would only be any point if she intends to leave.

If she thinks her husband's behaviour is OK, and is happy to share her money with him, then there is little you can do. This is what I would do:
1. ensure that probate paperwork is done by the book, and keep copies - this enables your sister to demonstrate where the money came from in the event of divorce (her husband may destroy this, you need to keep copies)
2. Can one of you - or a female relative talk to CAB or Womens' Aid? They will be wary (how do they know YOU are not after your sister's money?) but they may have another idea.


I hope you can sort something out.

Keep_pedalling

I would be more concerned, that he would not divorce your sister, the longer she remains married to this control freak the longer he has access to her money. She is the one who should be pushing for a divorce, even if it cost her some of her inheritance.

If she really wants to get out of this abusive relationship, the first thing she needs to do is move out and get full control of her finances. Are there any children involved?

SeniorSam

Unfortunatey, as your Mother is no longer able to make a new Will there is nothing that can be done if your Mother's Will makes her estate devided between the three of you. Have you seen the Will or do you know it's contents, as that may not be the case?

Sam

Savvy_Sue

willieormandsheroes wrote: »

Unfortunately she probably could not come up with grounds for her to divorce him - even if we could persuade her to do so and I am not convinced we could - the control that he has over her.

The days are long gone when one needed to 'come up with' grounds for divorce. And if this isn't 'unreasonable behaviour' then I don't know what is.

Keep_pedalling wrote: »

I would be more concerned, that he would not divorce your sister, the longer she remains married to this control freak the longer he has access to her money. She is the one who should be pushing for a divorce, even if it cost her some of her inheritance.

If she really wants to get out of this abusive relationship, the first thing she needs to do is move out and get full control of her finances. Are there any children involved?

I wondered about the children too.

But really, she's got to choose. Next time she's 'allowed' to come and visit, why would she go back?

Mojisola

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

Next time she's 'allowed' to come and visit, why would she go back?

Because he probably has her believing that she couldn't cope on her or that she owes him her loyalty because of 'everything he does for her' or that she's scared of what he'll do if she leaves or all the above.

Savvy_Sue

Mojisola wrote: »

Because he probably has her believing that she couldn't cope on her or that she owes him her loyalty because of 'everything he does for her' or that she's scared of what he'll do if she leaves or all the above.

Oh yes, I get all of that, I'm just trying to make suggestions to share with her. As I said, she's got to choose.

willieormandsheroes

Thanks for all the thoughts - I'll have a think on them. Couple of clarifications - she's 53 and no children; Why doesn't she leave him? I'm thinking because she is frightened - possibly about how he'd react, but also as she fears she couldn't cope by herself - she's depended a huge amount on our mum as a refuge when he's shut her out the home or when she's desperate. And as I guess is the case in many relationships where the bloke is a control freak - he can suddenly be nice, and my sister is desperate to cling to that as 'hope' because of her fears and wanting things to be OK. I don't think he has any such thoughts.