Any ideas

[Deleted User]

Hi.. this is my 1st post on this board...if this is not the right place for this question I'm sorry!!
My dd is almost 4 ( 3 weeks) and has been wetting the bed after being dry for many many months.. shes been wetting for quite a while now, but when she stays away ( my dads a week and my sisters overnight) she's dry.
I can't put her in pull ups or use a care amt because as a bb she suffered TERRIBLE sores on and around her nappy area it was only upon toilet training htis stopped and it became apparent she was allergic to something in them. Even now jus one night in a pull up or sleeping on a care amt causes her to be very sore...
So my problem.. last night she wet 2 times.. not only the bottom sheet but also her duvet. this is commen for me to have to wash eher beddind and duvet most days.. I've cut out drinks after tea toilet her before her going to sleep and me goping to bed but nothing works!! I'm running out of ideas!!!!
ANY HELP PLEASE....
S.

bookemdano

Hi
I don't have children myself so not an expert but I remember my mate who has children said he had the same problem. He used what he called a buzz blanket, not sure if you have ever heard of these but basically they buzz when the child begins to wet the bed hence waking them up and supposedly stopping them. Haven't a clue where you can get them but maybe an idea to consider. :cool:

mae

Has anything changed in your circumstances at home? I just wondered with the comparison that she is dry when she sleeps away from home.

[Deleted User]

Nope nothings changed at home. She's very lazy and I recentally had probs gettin her to use the toilet during the day. She would just wee herself and say she didn't know she needed to go. or I caught her just hovering over the floor to wee. even once IN FRONT of the toilet. She's not done this for about 2 months now. The idea of a buzz blanket mentioned in the above post sounds good but only short term as she needs to learn to wake up by herself.. Does that make sense??

mae

How do you handle it when she wets herself or the bed? I would take all the stress out of it tell her its ok, no problem and just re go over remember to tell me when you need to go etc and also I would introduce a reward chart of some kind. I wouldn't set high targets for the chart though I would start off with easy targets and a reward so she starts to grow in confidence. Give her some choices too ask her would she prefer a potty or the toilet this also may help her feel a little in control.
Do you get her up before you go to bed and take her to the toilet?

[Deleted User]

mae wrote: »

How do you handle it when she wets herself or the bed? I would take all the stress out of it tell her its ok, no problem and just re go over remember to tell me when you need to go etc and also I would introduce a reward chart of some kind. I wouldn't set high targets for the chart though I would start off with easy targets and a reward so she starts to grow in confidence. Give her some choices too ask her would she prefer a potty or the toilet this also may help her feel a little in control.
Do you get her up before you go to bed and take her to the toilet?

I have to say this morning as she'd wet twice throu the night I didn't handle it well especially as shes gone through 3 pillows this week cos she's wetting on them. But usually I just strip her bed and put her back, little conversation cos quite frankly I'm not upto it in the night.
I have to say I do tell her in the morn that it's not on, cos tho I want her to understand it's not SO bad, it's not good either.
I reward chart seems like a good idea ( can't believe I never thought of it!) but small targets as in what?? A treat for one night or a week??
I try and put her on the toilet before I go to bed but this proves very unsucessful as shes in the land of nod and seems very shaky and often gets upset and does no wee, jus wants to go back to bed. I don't use a potty because I've never used them in my house both my children wanted to go straight onto the toilet ( there choice potty was offered)
I will do a reward chart in the morn but would like ideas please of time limits etc. Also one last question .... If she can not wake herself now do you think the offer of a reward will actually get her to wake to use the toilet.. and if so, then doesn't it prove she CAN do it, and is jus bein lazy ( I know I sound harsh sorry!!)

msmicawber

I would also recommend taking her to the toilet before you go to bed. Have you asked your dad and sister whether they do that, or what routine she has when she stays with them?

I found that my children would slip back into bedwetting and other 'younger child behaviour' when they weren't well and would have to retrain a bit afterwards too (each time became quicker than the last, thankfully). Has she been unwell lately, or could she be coming down with something? Other than that, stress and anxiety can cause bedwetting - is she starting reception class in September? If so, she might be nervous about that.

mae

My daughter was 4 in July and we only stopped getting her up before we go to bed this week. She was also shaky and at first very upset but we did it every single nightn without fail and she just got used to, she was still shaky but she stopped getting upset as if she sort of was more aware no point crying and we just lifted her out of bed and whispered time to nip for a wee and didn't really wake her as such then carried ther back after she had finished. Some nights she just didn't need one and them nights she usually wet the bed but we just said no problem they will wash its ok sweetie because I still think that for some children 4 is still very young and its hard to hold your bladder all night for some.
I know it must be stressful for you but I would try to take a step back are see her as very young and she won't do this forever, maybe she is sensing your angst too. I would be as organised as possible re the bedding, ie have the dry bedding to hand for quick changes in the night and be really calm about it. Try giving her a hug and telling her its ok she'll learn soon not to wet the bed, can you imagine what a relief to her that will be?? How hard is a parents job eh....

As for the reward chart I would think of something she would like ie does she prefer to go swimming with you or would she like a present etc etc then the first reward I would reward for 1 dry night and make a big fuss then after that maybe do the same again then up the rewards to when you do 2 sleeps and keep dry you get another reward and so on. I would base the rewards on telling her it will help her to not wee in the bed if you wake her up in the night and take her to the toilet and even though you know she will be very tired if she manges a wee you will be very very happy with her and she will get the reward.

Also do you limit liquids after bed time??

Basically what you are trying to achieve is ignoring the wetting calming saying 'its ok it was an accident just try and remember next time babe' and then massively praising and showing her with big hugs when she goes to the toilet or has a dry night.

Good luck to you its so hard and stressful all that bedding etc. Some people might not agree with me but she is still a baby in some respects and she will get over this with you being supportive better than you being stressed at her.

Js_Other_Half

Would this help protect the mattress without making your DD sore?
http://www.tommeetippee.co.uk/shop/products/cotton-bottoms-waterproof-bed-protector.html

[Deleted User]

My dd does start nursery at school in a few weeks but has been going to the college nursery I attend for the last year. She loves it and is realy looking forward to going to "big nursery" so I don't think her bein anxious is the problem.She is an extremally confident child for her age. Also Both my dad and sister say the do nothing, they don't limit drinks nor toilet her during the night.I ddon't allow either of my children to drink after tea (6pm) anyway.
I think I will try the rewards as sugested by Mae ( lovely name btw, my dd middle name too!!) and try and take a step back, as you say she IS still young and it won't last forever I'm sure the rewards thing will help to,
I'd like to thank eveyone who's offered advice on this thread I have taken it all in and listened well.
Here's to a dry free night soon. x
S.

mae

Awe you sound like a lovely mummy, lucky little girl she is.

Good luck with it.