Under pressure from my ex.

Batman_100

FBaby wrote: »

But she is much too young to understand the notion of 'building a bond'. If your DD is like most 5 years old, she believes in the beautiful rich fairy who will soon come to leave a pound under her pillow.

One day she'll discover that there is no such thing and will get through the trauma of reality. I don't mean to be patronising (as I appreciate I might come across as such) but I really don't understand why you are anxious about your DD fairytale view of her future step-mum. It's a natural process for children, just like many imagine their first teacher to be a beautiful wonderful young kind lady, then are disappointed to get a wrinkly strict teacher but most adjust just fine and learn to get to know and like the teacher just fine.

It probably is nothing for me to worry about, but I just don't want her to feel disappointed if the person I settle down with doesn't fit in with her fairy tail image of a perfect parent.


In fact my ex might just be trying to reassure her that her new step mum will actually be a good parent and not someone like her biological dad or her step-siblings mum. Even at 5 years old she's already got enough life experience to know what a bad parent looks like.


And that's all before you get to the issue of how to I explain to a potential partner that my little girl isn't actually my daughter in a legal or biological sense. Haven't really thought about how to handle that yet, but it may end up causing problems.

Batman_100

BigAunty wrote: »

So she's burned through 2 biological fathers and a step-father in what, 6/7 years?

And has ordered you to buck up your ideas when it comes to relationships?!

Yes, her personal life has become a bit chaotic recently, but she's still hot her families best interests at heart.

Lets_say

Batman, first, may I say that you should be commended for wanting to continue to play a part in your ex's daughter's life.

But, a year on, you are now being very defensive of your ex, given that you originally told us that you didn't want to give her money direct because you feared she would ' spend it on going out and shopping'.

Sorry, but I can't help feeling your ex is taking advantage of you.