Consent order breach??

duchy

In the girlfriend's shoes I'd be quite concerned at how he treats his older children and what the future has in store for her and her child. The fact she felt the need to contact you seperately (especially as her affair with your husband caused the marriage break up) also seems odd.

It does sound like they are struggling financially.

duchy

Guest101 wrote: »

Well strictly speaking the expenses of raising a child are fairly straight forward:


A portion of the rent or mortgage. - For example a 3 bed property with 1 child would be hard pressed to say that half the rent is solely the expense of the child. - and then factored that upto 1/3 of the time the child wont be there.
.

Really ?

How nice it would be if a mortgage provider or landlord said "Oh you leave the house to go on holiday and to work- lets not charge you for the time you aren't physically present in the property"

Children do all kinds of things to property consideration - a single person doesn't need a garden but many people consider it an essential with children, location- to family, to school catchment area ......and even with older children to public transport are all considerations that are very different (and more expensive) than the needs of single people.

Guest101

duchy wrote: »

Really ? - Yes really

How nice it would be if a mortgage provider or landlord said "Oh you leave the house to go on holiday and to work- lets not charge you for the time you aren't physically present in the property" - We are talking about a child, who is presumebly on neither the tenancy nor the mortgage. The NRP isnt responsible for housing the PWC. Only the child. If the PWC cannot affor the property they are in, they should seek alternative accomodation. The NRP will have their own costs - which typically involve paying for a room for the child to use, typically only 1/3 of the time. The NRP still pays for that room for the other 2/3s its not used. If the child is in the care of the NRP then they have their own costs. On what planet should an NRP spplement the housing needs of the PWC when the child is not in their care?

Children do all kinds of things to property consideration - a single person doesn't need a garden but many people consider it an essential with children, - So families who live in flats are nglecting their children? location- to family, to school catchment area - I dont see your point? Those costs are sill being split. ......and even with older children to public transport are all considerations that are very different (and more expensive) than the needs of single people. - The 'single' person is likely paying for additional expenses. Such as a spare room. Perhaps they too feel a garden is important for when the children visit. Perhaps they also live close to the school area so the child is able to get to and from school during their contact arrangements without disruption.

I'm sorry but i fail to see your point, my calculation is quite accurate.

FBaby

There is one thing you are forgetting about guest, and unfortunately, that is probably one of the biggest frustration faced by nrp, and that is that you are talking about the minimum a child needs when most loving parents aspire to provide the best they can for their child.

You say that a child doesn't need a garden. Of course they don't, but wouldn't you as a parent want your child to have one if they can?

The problem is that whatever the child benefits from, so will the resident parent. This means that the nrp is faced with the dilemma of whether they rather their child has the best on a daily basis even if it means the person you had that child with gets to enjoy the benefits too, or would you rather ensure your ex gets nothing any longer from you, even if the child has to lose out too.

It goes both ways. I am not asking my ex for maintenance and the reason is because pestering him about it, taking him to the csa would significantly impact on his attitude and mood and that will directly impact on the children. I want the best for my children and that involves a positive rewarding relationship with their father. So to benefit them, it benefits him, and impact on me, but to me, the well being of my children will always come first, so if ex financially benefits from that choice, so be it.

corf999

duchy wrote: »

In the girlfriend's shoes I'd be quite concerned at how he treats his older children and what the future has in store for her and her child. The fact she felt the need to contact you seperately (especially as her affair with your husband caused the marriage break up) also seems odd.

It does sound like they are struggling financially.

This, If they are struggling financially I suspect he will be reducing/stopping payments to the older daughter at Uni and blaming her mother for it.

anna_1977

corf999 wrote: »

This, If they are struggling financially I suspect he will be reducing/stopping payments to the older daughter at Uni and blaming her mother for it.

I've spoken to him this morning, he made the payment to me last night for the £240 and said he's no intention of stopping eldest's payment - I hope not as she's Uni in China this year and was banking on his money....

anna_1977

duchy wrote: »

In the girlfriend's shoes I'd be quite concerned at how he treats his older children and what the future has in store for her and her child. The fact she felt the need to contact you seperately (especially as her affair with your husband caused the marriage break up) also seems odd.

It does sound like they are struggling financially.

it's not the first time she's contacted me directly. He acts irrationally at times and is pretty childish too (I'm sure he could say the same about me). She is much more level headed and of course for their finances it was in her interest this was sorted too.

For me, I never wanted the £400 odd that the CSA were going to claim, I just wanted the £240 that we agreed on 5 years ago.