How to ask for money from someone with a family crisis

Law_girl

I do some work for someone I know, a family friend. Basically it is just typing as he is not proficient at a keyboard. He writes out his notes and sketches then I type them up for him to use – generally a next day service. He has always been very good at paying and normally pays up within one or two days of the invoice being submitted.

The dilemma is that I have not been paid for a couple of months (two invoices) and the reason is that he has been too distracted by his child’s medical crisis. I will not give away too much information but basically at the moment the doctors are discussing an amputation, so that is how serious it is. The child became ill shortly before I posted the last invoice and I have had no work from him since as he is not doing any work at the moment. The amount is about £200.

The money is not part of my budget (I am on a very tight budget that does not have room for anything nice for me) and I use it to treat myself i.e. going out, clothes etc. so it is not as if I am in danger of the lights being turned out. It has been almost two months now. When we talk it is only really to enquire about the child’s progress.

Do I just leave it forever and write off the £200?
I don’t want to be insensitive and be like ‘How’s little Bobby, in a coma you say? How sad. Can I have my money?’
I could wait a couple of months but even then there is no guarantee there will be any improvement.

What should I do?

Alikay

I'd probably give him a call and say something along the lines of "I know you've got a lot on, and typing reports (or whatever it is you do) is the last thing on your mind, so don't panic about paying the invoices. As long as I have the cash by the end of October when my car insurance (or use another major expense to indicate a deadline) is due that'll be fine. Anyway, more importantly, how's Bobby? It sounded very serious the last time we spoke".

kelpie35

If he is a true friend I would just write it off.

If you are asked to do other work for him in the future I would then remind him of the outstanding bills.

I do hope that his child gets better very soon.

asajj

Indeed difficult. If he was a real friend, I'd just write it off - at least for a while. I appreciate it wouldn't be possible for everyone. He might have simply forgotten about it or he might not be able to afford it at the moment?

Law_girl

kelpie35 wrote: »

If he is a true friend I would just write it off.

.

That's it, he is more of an acquaintance. Our families have known each other for years (from church) but I have never really socialised with them on a one to one basis.

clarryd

I would just phone him and ask if he needed any more work typed at the moment, and if possible could he pay the invoices outstanding. Friend or non-friend if he owed the money to window cleaner (say) he would have to pay it no matter what the circumstances. I'm not dismissing what the parents of this child are going through, but that should not stop your payments. I know you say it is not counted in with your house hold expenditure, but it is a little extra so you can treat yourself, or buy presents etc if need be.

You just have to bite the bullet and speak to him, sooner rather than later.

duchy

I'd resend the invoices with a handwritten note saying you do realize that it's easy to overlook stuff at difficult times . Odds are if they have always been reliable it just got overlooked.

Cherryscone

If it was me I would forget about it for the time being, maybe when things get better he will pay he most likely has not paid anyone he owes money too ,I hope his child recovers soon .

pmlindyloo

Personally I would wait until, hopefully, things improve.

You haven't mentioned their financial circumstances. If he has had to stop work, for example, then it could be that they are financially 'strapped'.

He has the invoices and knows that you are owed the money. He will eventually get round to paying them I am sure.

You are not desperate for the money and some kindness now will not make much difference.

Even if he was a stranger I would be giving 'time to pay'. As someone you know it wouldn't cross my mind to hassle someone at such a time.

You cannot underestimate the awful reality of having a seriously ill child. Everything else fades into insignificance. Your whole life is devoted to willing your child to get well.

LannieDuck

If you can afford to wait, I certainly would. I can't imagine how devastating it would be to have a child so seriously ill that we were considering an amputation. How horrific

I wouldn't be at all surprised if your invoices are sitting on a side board somewhere unopened. If this is someone who has always paid in the past, give them the benefit of the doubt.

Law_girl

Thank you for the answers. I think I will wait. You can never truly know someone else's circumstances (financial or otherwise) but he is a top level executive and they often take weekend breaks abroad etc. (not now, obviously) so I would not have thought he is unable to pay. I think the non-payment is down to distraction/forgetfulness.