Funeral plans?

bongonaut

The DWP/Social Fund claims system is almost unfit for purpose. For a claim to be considered, it needs to be accompanied by a funeral directors invoice, but as alluded to above, is often rejected because there is a family member who is not in receipt of qualifying benefits. The outcome of that is a delay of 2-3 weeks and often a family with no choice but to resort to the hospital or local authority.
According to the charity Quaker Social Action, funeral costs have increased by an average of 80% in the last 10 years, yet support from the state has dwindled. QSA's Fair Funerals campaign launched this summer does provide lots of helpful advice to families for whom affordability is an issue.

true81

Thank you all for your replies.
I guess another chat is necessary, it would look very bad if I didn't provide a good "sending off" for my mum but I know I will be unable to do so.
It just seems so heartless to say these things but all she does is waste money that could be saved for emergencies or her funeral.

thorsoak

I find it sad that you see paying for a grand funeral as a priority for your mum/you. Personally, I want as little as possible spent on my funeral - although I have planned for money to be available for that event. I don't want a horse and carriage with black plumes, nor many large limos - nor do I want (shudder at the thought) £££s spent on flowers/cellophane bows spelling out "granny"/"mum" etc. And I will leave instructions that if anyone gives me a funeral like this, I shall come back and HAUNT them!

There is a sad situation in the village where I live - a local "character" died suddenly at the age of 43, leaving two boys, a large extended family - but there is a f/b page appealing for funds for her funeral :-( I won't be contributing - it will all be show (all fur coat and no knickers, as my mother would say) - I'd far rather be concerned about her two boys and how they will cope - I'd contribute to a fund for that!

G6JNS

True81 wrote: »

Thank you all for your replies.
I guess another chat is necessary, it would look very bad if I didn't provide a good "sending off" for my mum but I know I will be unable to do so.
It just seems so heartless to say these things but all she does is waste money that could be saved for emergencies or her funeral.

There should be no shame in not being able to do so as it is not a cheap thing to do. Remember that funerals are for the benefit of the bereaved not the deceased. In reality a funeral paid for by the state, i.e. the hospital or the local authority, will be simple but dignified.

G6JNS

bongonaut wrote: »

The DWP/Social Fund claims system is almost unfit for purpose. For a claim to be considered, it needs to be accompanied by a funeral directors invoice, but as alluded to above, is often rejected because there is a family member who is not in receipt of qualifying benefits. The outcome of that is a delay of 2-3 weeks and often a family with no choice but to resort to the hospital or local authority.
According to the charity Quaker Social Action, funeral costs have increased by an average of 80% in the last 10 years, yet support from the state has dwindled. QSA's Fair Funerals campaign launched this summer does provide lots of helpful advice to families for whom affordability is an issue.

It is completely unfit for purpose. To get the invoice you have to agree to pay which many relatives simply can't do.

PasturesNew

There are a few ways to approach this. Who paid for her husband's funeral? While it was nice to have a big show and send off, she was there to see it, so that was "nice". She won't witness her own, so you don't have to go so mad.

Also, the older she gets, the less there'll be other people around/attending.

When it's "just you guys" you can dispense with all the extras that dad had and you didn't really "need".

BobQ

Funeral Plans are expensive and have complications.

If Mum has nothing let the Council pay as advised. This does not stop you or others organising a "send off" wake if that is what she wants and you can afford.

Does she have any old life insurance policies? These are sometimes forgotten but can be worth more than you expected as paid up policies.

Sometimes you see offers of life insurance (no medical required). Could she afford a small premium if one was available? Enough to cover a funeral?

Or could some of the family start saving for her funeral?

true81

I don't want her to have a grand funeral I was concerned that there would be no funds for a funeral, especially if what I read is correct about the person organising the funeral and claiming benefits.
My dad is still alive married to someone else.
Mum has no life insurance policies or anything like it, she has whatever she has in her purse on a day to day basis. She has signed up to these life cover things and fails to even make the first payment.
I'm a mum of five and I'd rather my money went into their saving so they can do the little things in life a wasn't able to do, also I'd be the only one saving as my siblings wouldn't they don't work either and if they did contribute £10 here or there they will always want to borrow it.
Anyway thank you all so much, it's good to talk to people unconnected.

st999

Just tell her that if she doesn't make arrangements you will leave her body to medical science and ask her if she wants leering medical students looking at her naked body.

Mojisola

True81 wrote: »

I guess another chat is necessary, it would look very bad if I didn't provide a good "sending off" for my mum but I know I will be unable to do so.

True81 wrote: »

I don't want her to have a grand funeral I was concerned that there would be no funds for a funeral, especially if what I read is correct about the person organising the funeral and claiming benefits.

I'm a mum of five and I'd rather my money went into their saving so they can do the little things in life a wasn't able to do, also I'd be the only one saving as my siblings wouldn't they don't work either and if they did contribute £10 here or there they will always want to borrow it.

Start growing a thick skin so that you can resist the expected pressure from others that you will pay for the funeral.

Your mother has the means to save - she's choosing not to.