*Change of plan - and maybe some good news!*

ginormousflares

Snaggles wrote: »

I didn't know your son had Aspergers Syndrome GF. We haven't had a diagnosis for Ryan yet, but I know he has it. I'm a bit scared because I've been told they are purposely avoiding diagnosing people unless they are REALLY severe, because of the cost of looking after them. Not sure how true it is, but it's got me in a bit of a state at the moment. We were supposed to have a diagnosis before Xmas, but they are dragging their heels, and it's looing like mid-January now.

Did you know something was different about your son from quite early on, or was it later in life that you realised?

Son was initially diagnosed with Dyspraxia. He was lucky because his junior school teacher was an expert on it. So it was identified when he was about 8. His behaviour got worse has he got to his teens as he had problems fitting in in school and he was perceived as being odd and his mam had a tough time trying to get the Aspergers disgnosis when he was about 13 (5 years ago) because then as is the case now, no one really understood it. And do you know that I think of all the so called idiot kids that were branded as wasters at my school that may have had this learning difficulty as well. It still a major problem getting these syndromes indentified. Anyway, his mam went through a really tough time from 14-16 with him, he even threatened her with a knife and I had to drive 200+ miles like a bat out of hell to get hold of him, throttle him and take him to the police. The bollocking that was dished out to him was first rate and I believe went some way to addressing his attitude towards his mother. And now he is 18 he still has some forms that manifest themselves in such ways as obsessive beahaviour like, collecting things, shifting interests all the time. For instance, musical instruments and learning to play different ones and wanting the best and as much info about the instrument of the day. He is though very intelligent but still had problems communiating both orally and on paper. He is at college now and has done very well in an ENglish exam recently. And do you know, I believe that he may have been over-diagnosed but even with that in mind he has overcome so much himself which is a credit to him. I would as much as you can try without doing too much, concentrate on writing skills and ball games.

Snaggles

Goodness, that must have been hard going at times. Ryan can lash out occasionally (he has lashed out at me quite violently today which is maybe another reason I'm feeling a bit crappy - and it wont be long until he is strong enough to do some damage), and that is the thing that worries me most of all. I'm glad your son is doing well, and I'm glad he managed to get some support quite early on in life.

I think you could be right about some 'problem children' maybe having undiagnosed conditions. I don't think it's always necessary to give people a label, but I definitely think more could be done to help children who are struggling. It seems to all come down to money, sadly. You have to be the one who is shouting the loudest if you want to get your voice heard, and I'm not very good at shouting. But I'm learning!

ginormousflares

It is quite scary when they lash out. At least you have OH to support you which may help. I hope the coping strategies work. I think my son's condition became better because in-part I think he grew out of it to a degree; what I mean is he came to terms with it and accepted it which is a huge huge milestone with this condition. He was very friendly with a lad and he would do anything for him and this lad knew it. BTW, latching onto a friendship can also be another sign because friendships can be hard to come by if you get my drift. As things became really bad with this lad who was having a terrilble influence on my son I sat down with his mother and said 'look, you have tried everything and nothing appears to be working. I think we must let him realise that this lad is in fact using him and is not a real friend. Fortunately he did and since then he hasnt looked back. But, he turned into a goth, is still one now and he drinks far too much for my liking; and I believe that he is still trying to fit in.

ginormousflares

ZTD wrote: »

Ah, don't just say "I know"... Self-worth should not be money and status related. Self-worth should be the worth *YOU* give yourself. You *KNOW* you're a good guy and you *KNOW* you do a good job.

Now just let yourself believe it.



Like our place. "Think we're shiit? There's obviously something wrong with you! :rolleyes: But we won't ask you anything further because you'll reply providing evidence and that'll make us look shiit..."



Don't sweat it. Just keep the present value under control and it'll all be fine - it's not the value but the thought that counts.



Just don't criticise him - I said mine was crap and he went all prima-donna on me... :rotfl:

Thanks Z, such wise words as susual. GF

ginormousflares

I'm off to bed now Mrs S. NIght night. SPeak tomorrow. GF x

tigtag02

is it the things I say

is it the way I say things

or am I a troll (transferable with numpty) magnet

shamless hijacker exiting................

postingalwaysposting

thanks snags shall pm you back tommorow now ~ but i feel i can sleep easier tonight

Snaggles

tigtag02 wrote: »

is it the things I say

is it the way I say things

or am I a troll (transferable with numpty) magnet

shamless hijacker exiting................

Oh lol, just stay over here with us - we still love you!

Snaggles

postingalwaysposting wrote: »

thanks snags shall pm you back tommorow now ~ but i feel i can sleep easier tonight

I'm really glad - if you need to talk any more, you know where I am. xxx

ZTD

tigtag02 wrote: »

is it the things I say

is it the way I say things

or am I a troll (transferable with numpty) magnet

shamless hijacker exiting................

Why? What have you done now?