*Change of plan - and maybe some good news!*

ginormousflares

tigtag02 wrote: »

Bunny

Digging

Stop

NOW

No, no, keep digging:D

Snaggles

Awwww, bless you GF xx

Gemmzie

Sorry to hear things are so complicated Snags xx

Bunnyinthelights

Ah babe,
(((((hugs))))))

Bunnyinthelights

Digging? Moi?
Never!

back-peddling maybe....

ZTD

Snaggles wrote: »

Sorry, i must sound bitter and irrational,

No.

Snaggles wrote: »

but this has really come about because I DON'T feel loved and valued.....I am always waaay down the priority list, after work, his sister, his Mum, his mates, alcohol, the ironing....

Just like a cam belt, you're trusty and reliable and not considered much until you go wrong...

Tell him what he has to do.

Snaggles wrote: »

I didn't exactly suggest it, he said 'you want me to go, don't you', and I didn't answer (didn't really know what to say), so he just went upstairs, packed a bag and left. I sent him two texts later on to ask him to let me know he was safe, and he didn't reply.

So if you didn't suggest that you needed space, how is he going to going to know that you do?

Snaggles wrote: »

But I don't want to just give in and say everything is okay and we can go back to normal, because I can't live with how things were any longer.

Tell him that. Properly though.

Argument in a man's world:
Woman: "I feel undervalued. I want you to do A, B, and stop doing C."
Man: "OK."

Argument in a woman's world:
Woman: "I feel A, B and C."
Man: "And?"
Woman: "What are you going to do about it?"
Man: "What do you want me to do?"
Woman: "I shouldn't have to tell you that!"
Man: "Do you think I'm psychic?"

etc...

So just tell him.

Snaggles wrote: »

He will probably find something else, but only if I type his CV for him, help him fill in the application forms, help him come up with things to say during interviews, lick and seal the envelopes and stick them in the letter box for him...:rolleyes: I don't want to be his bloody mother for goodness sake :mad:. (oops, anger again... )

It's because he feels inadequate in that area. He's not a good communicator, and he knows you are. Of course that makes him an even worse communicator, but that's just one of those things.

He's probably a lot happier you doing those things, because then at least he knows they're being done right.

Snaggles

Grrrr, he's only just gone :mad:

So Ryan is late to bed and out of his usual routine (routines are VERY important to him), so he's all hyped up and keeps getting up to leap around the bedroom.

Tried to explain to Stu why it wasn't a good idea for him to come tonight because we had agreed to give each other some space and talk tomorrow.....so he's now decided he will give me space tomorrow and we will talk on Thursday instead.

Is this fair enough or has he just shown yet again that he isn't really bothered what I think or feel? I feel cross about it, not sure why, and can't seem to tell if I'm over-reacting or not now.

I don't even know what I want any more, so he has NO chance of working it out...

spud30

Snaggles wrote: »

I don't even know what I want any more, so he has NO chance of working it out...

Which is why you need space and time to think

Snaggles

Zed, thanks, I do understand what you are saying. I need to make sure i think through exactly what I want from him, and also try to work out how I can support him, so that he can give me those things.

It's hard though when all I really want to do is hit him over the head with a blunt object.

:eek: Sorry my thread is so depressing today.

Bunnyinthelights

Did you get my text?