Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 2

whitewing

Penguin: child sex abuse. Probably best not to read this if you were abused and are still struggling

http://www.theguardian.com/society/2015/oct/28/nhs-and-social-services-fail-child-sexual-abuse-survivors-study-reveals

whitewing

code, you are doing really well.

Wellyboots6

Faerie, sorry you are still feeling so rubbish. It does sound like there is a practical plan in place though now for your continence problems. Gives you something to get stuck in to and work towards. You might find that now there is a plan to help you, even if it will be hard, you may be able to start moving forward with things. It's tempting to live in the past and dwell on 'what ifs', but now you do have an option to move forward, so if you can, grab it with both hands. You have nothing to lose!

You may also find your mental health issues improve if you can start to see some progress in your health.

Code, could you treat yourself to a nice bath or an evening doing something you enjoy? What about writing letters to people? I find that really rewarding when people write back as it seems so much nicer than email.

Roough night last night. Hubby ended up doing a lot of the night feeds as I seem to be incapable of giving her a bottle without her getting terrible wind. Makes me feel so inadequate. I am fine breast feeding, but she is so hungry at times that I can't keep up. Still feeling like this being a mum thing is totally alien to me.
Surely it should come more naturally, or how did the human race survive?!

codemonkey

Katy - obviously I have no experience in such things but my friends all have babies and I'm from a big family and people talk to me and not one of them has ever found it easy. There's a reason why babies are cute. As for the bottle thing, I think you can get bottles that reduce wind - they regulate the milk flow or something - but it's ok to let your DH do the feeds too. It's a great bonding experience for him and sometimes I think men feel a bit left out. You're a good mother even if it doesn't feel that way. The natural mother thing is a myth. Everyone finds it hard. Hugs.

heartbreak_star

Glad you enjoyed the music Welly!

I have heard from many new mums that it doesn't always come naturally, so please don't worry! And please DO keep an eye on yourself for post-natal depression.

Have been a busy bunny Etsy-ing the past few days, and also making things for myself. Am finding it helps keep nasty thoughts away.

EDIT - cross-posted with Code

HBS x

jobbingmusician

Yep. Mind does some perinatal groups, and the people that run these groups always report back that the mums find the mental health techniques helpful, but not half as helpful as realising that all the other mums are struggling just as much as they are! xxxxxx

Wellyboots6

We have some non-windy bottles but she still seems to inflate when I feed her. Hubby does like to be able to feed her, and I like the break. I'd like to be able to do the night feeds to let him sleep ready for work the following day though. I worry about him being tired.

I had a doctors appointment yesterday which turns out was for the doctor to check if I am suffering with post natal depression. The midwife referred me to a specialist midwife months ago due to the concern about pnd. Apparently they wrote to the doctor saying they didn't think I needed to be seen. Noone told me though! I am feeling fine at the moment, tired and stressed, but I guess those feelings are normal with new babies.

Regarding having/not having children and feeling left out by friends... I think it's hard for those without kids to remember how much notice you need to arrange babysitters etc, and to appreciate how tired you'll be, needing to leave early etc I know some of my friends aren't comfortable around babies either so I suppose that will influence invites.
Friends with kids tend to have older kids too, so things that would be appropriate for them maybe wouldn't be appropriate for us at the moment.

I think the best way to deal with it would be to decide what you want to do and then invite people and see who takes you up on the invite. Waiting for others to do the inviting can lead to a long wait!

I've been looking on etsy, found some lovely things which might make good Xmas presents. I have some ideas of things to make myself though, if I get time.
Need ideas of things to get hubby. He has a lot of interests so should be easy to buy for, but I find men sooooo difficult!

Wellyboots6

Oh dear, I appear to have done some middle of the night eBay shopping!

heartbreak_star

Wellyboots6 wrote: »

Oh dear, I appear to have done some middle of the night eBay shopping!

Uh-oh! Is that kind of like drunkbuying? I've only done that once, I ended up with the Mortal Kombat films boxset :rotfl:

Problem with Etsy is I find loads of stuff to make, then make it and have to sell it as I can only wear so much and afford so many components

HBS x

onomatopoeia99

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Uh-oh! Is that kind of like drunkbuying? I've only done that once, I ended up with the Mortal Kombat films boxset :rotfl:

You must have been very drunk!