I just want to live

SadMary27

Movingon5464 wrote: »

Your current soa is based on a job you believe has a real possibility of being made redundant and living cheaply with a friend. If i was you i would do a theoretical soa. For example consider if you was made redundant - how much could you realistically earn if you had to find another job. If you had to rent a flat alone how much would that cost. Then work out how much you would have left to pay debts after other realistic living expenses. Then work out how long it would take you to pay off your debts with interest frozen in a dmp. I believe you should compare that situation to bankruptcy. You owe a lot of money and if your circumstances do change it could take you a long time to pay off. I personally chose to pay my debts in a dmp as i felt it was the right thing to do but financially bankruptcy would have made more sense and part of me wishes i had taken the bankruptcy route as i would be free now.

Hi,


Theoretical SOA below. Everything would be pretty accurate apart from the rent which could be higher:


Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet
Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1518
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 1518
Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 0
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 450
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 83
Electricity............................. 10
Gas..................................... 0
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 10
Telephone (land line)................... 10
Mobile phone............................ 5
TV Licence.............................. 12
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 7
Groceries etc. ......................... 120
Clothing................................ 25
Petrol/diesel........................... 0
Road tax................................ 0
Car Insurance........................... 0
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 15
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 25
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 20
Haircuts................................ 20
Entertainment........................... 15
Holiday................................. 20
Emergency fund.......................... 30
Total monthly expenses.................. 877

Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 0
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 0
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 0

No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts
Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
RBS............................9000......232.......24
TESCO..........................10000.....385.5.....24
CLYDESDALE CC..................4500......100.......0
NATWEST........................3100......90........0
NATIONWIDE CC..................1800......70........0
CLYDESDALE OD..................4500......80........0
BAMBOO.........................2400......168.......0
ARGOS..........................50........5.........0
Total unsecured debts..........35350.....1130.5....-

Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 1,518
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 877
Available for debt repayments........... 641
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 1,130.5
Amount short for making debt repayments. -489.5
Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 0
Total HP & Secured debt................. -0
Total Unsecured debt.................... -35,350
Net Assets.............................. -35,350
.[/i]

SadMary27

lazer-zxr wrote: »

Hi Mary,
Have you looked at how a snowball affect will pay off your debts? Once you get one cleared, using the money from that debt repayment to accelerate the next. It may seem that you can over pay very little at the moment, but overtime, your power to do this will increase greatly.

You are showing that you can afford your debts, and, like others have mentioned, a DMP will be the best option as you are solvent.

Regarding entitlement, I'm not really sure you've had your true LBM (light bulb moment) as you still believe you're entitled to luxuries.
I was in the same situation. As I was accumulating debt, I believed I was entitled to things because I worked hard. But it's a false belief. You are only entitled to luxuries if you can afford them. Money, I now perceive, is a measure of your entitlement to purchase luxuries.

Take my car for example. My salary is £50k+ (supporting family of 4). I used to believe I was entitled to a nice car because of my status, and hard work. I see my fellow commuters in BMWs, Mercedes, Audis, and some of these people I know personally, and are on much lower salaries than myself. However, I came to realise, that because I had £49k worth of debt, I am not entitled to that. I am now driving an £800 Citroen (which I am saving to replace) (when I'm not pedalling to work) because until I am out of debt, I can't afford a better car. Though my old self, would have said I was entitled to it. And if it's any consolation, I'm now on free haircuts.

So please think about this. Plan to snowball your debts and see what can be achieved. And realign your entitlement expectations to your true affordability.

Also look at some other ways to boost your income, some of the one off current account switches with bonuses have helped me out with a few hundred pounds.

This is intended to help, I hope it comes across that way.

Hi Lazer,


I have essentially been snowballing this year, trying to focus all available money to the highest interest.


I am sorry I have come across as thinking I am entitled to luxuries, but this couldn't be further from the truth. I had my LBM at the end of last year, hence why I have been making as best efforts I can this year to pay them off.


I haven't been out drinking with friends since new year. It must be 6 months since I last went out for dinner. I haven't been to the cinema this year. I have bought a couple of items of clothing twice this year so far.


It is just little things that I am missing out on. I am not wanting a car, holidays, and all the extravagance. I just want to have a sense of a little bit of living, but my finances don't dictate this.


I have cut EVERYTHING out, and have been living as cheaply as possible. It's one of the things that I am most proud of to be honest, that I have proven I can life with such little in life now I think on it. I have done well.


I have taken note about the DMP. It will be something I will discuss with the charity this weekend.

AspiringButAnxious

You come across as defensive, but you have only been given suggestions — it's up to you to decide what changes to make. You are the one who, ultimately, has to balance the advantages of spending a lot on haircuts and clothes versus paying more off your debt.

Your current lifestyle is luxurious compared to some: I have spent £30 total on clothes this year and cut my hair at home. I haven't eaten out in over a year — the last time was May 2014, when I went to Wetherspoons to celebrate my 30th birthday. The only alcohol I've had this year has been at home. I don't have a car anymore because I realised I couldn't afford to keep it on the road without getting into more debt. I have spent a total of £8 on toiletries this year — for a crystal deodorant that should last for a year, so is cheaper than my old brand.

The point is, it's your choice. You chose to get into debt by living beyond your means and now you have to choose how to get out of it. I'm in the same position: I chose to get into debt. I could moan about the unfairness of my mental illness, which has stopped me having a job for nearly 10 years, but the fact is that I spent money I didn't have. I bought books and shoes and clothes because I thought I deserved them. We all have to deal with tough circumstances at some points in life and I dealt with mine by getting into £14,000 of debt. This made my situation worse in the short term, but I am learning valuable lessons by paying back my debt and living frugally.

Whichever path you decide, good luck. And don't forget that there are plenty of us in the same boat.

SadMary27

AspiringButAnxious wrote: »

You come across as defensive, but you have only been given suggestions — it's up to you to decide what changes to make. You are the one who, ultimately, has to balance the advantages of spending a lot on haircuts and clothes versus paying more off your debt.

Your current lifestyle is luxurious compared to some: I have spent £30 total on clothes this year and cut my hair at home. I haven't eaten out in over a year — the last time was May 2014, when I went to Wetherspoons to celebrate my 30th birthday. The only alcohol I've had this year has been at home. I don't have a car anymore because I realised I couldn't afford to keep it on the road without getting into more debt. I have spent a total of £8 on toiletries this year — for a crystal deodorant that should last for a year, so is cheaper than my old brand.

The point is, it's your choice. You chose to get into debt by living beyond your means and now you have to choose how to get out of it. I'm in the same position: I chose to get into debt. I could moan about the unfairness of my mental illness, which has stopped me having a job for nearly 10 years, but the fact is that I spent money I didn't have. I bought books and shoes and clothes because I thought I deserved them. We all have to deal with tough circumstances at some points in life and I dealt with mine by getting into £14,000 of debt. This made my situation worse in the short term, but I am learning valuable lessons by paying back my debt and living frugally.

Whichever path you decide, good luck. And don't forget that there are plenty of us in the same boat.

Sorry, I just feel I am being slightly misunderstood, hence why going on the defence.


Whilst I have allocated £30, £20 to haircuts and clothes each month, the truth is most months this goes towards debt. When I did the SOA I did it with what I wanted to have each month. As mentioned earlier, I have no emergency fund, but the SOA lists £30 per month, as ideally I would like to save this. The same for the holiday fund, I don't have one but what I listed is what I would like to be putting a month too.


I guess it is my own fault at being misunderstood, as I should have done the SOA as to what exactly my month is instead of what was my ideal scenario each month.


I hope that makes sense.

berriesandcherries

Hi Mary

I just wanted to offer some support really.

I graduated with a good degree over 10 years ago now and throughout my degree we were sold the idea by our lecturers that we would all be graduating and walking into middle management jobs. Stupidly i believed this to be true and spent how i liked on what i liked getting myself into debt with the knowledge at the back of my mind that i would be graduating into a good job so i would pay it all back then. This obviously didn't happen and i ended up graduating into a minimum wage job to gain experience and work my way up. I am now debt free and have been for a number of years, through gritting my teeth and getting on with it, it can be done, it takes hard work and determination, don't give up, you will get there.

Berries

bsms1147

Do you have anything to show for the £35k, things that have value that you can reclaim?

SadMary27

berriesandcherries wrote: »

Hi Mary

I just wanted to offer some support really.

I graduated with a good degree over 10 years ago now and throughout my degree we were sold the idea by our lecturers that we would all be graduating and walking into middle management jobs. Stupidly i believed this to be true and spent how i liked on what i liked getting myself into debt with the knowledge at the back of my mind that i would be graduating into a good job so i would pay it all back then. This obviously didn't happen and i ended up graduating into a minimum wage job to gain experience and work my way up. I am now debt free and have been for a number of years, through gritting my teeth and getting on with it, it can be done, it takes hard work and determination, don't give up, you will get there.

Berries

Well done Berry! That is why I like this forum, as there are plenty of examples to show it can be done!

Like you, I ran up most my debts whilst at uni. Unfortunately I thought it would be smart to go to England to study, which cost fees whereas it is free in Scotland. That only accounts for half my debts though.

SadMary27

bsms1147 wrote: »

Do you have anything to show for the £35k, things that have value that you can reclaim?

Yes, a few grey hairs and some ageing skin ha ha


That is the sad thing of it, I have absolutely nothing to show. Anything I did buy, I sold off to try and help pay debts.

rockm87

as you can see...we all understand...we're all in this together!

nnop72

Hi Mary

If I were in your position, then based on the SOA I would consider going into a DMP with one of the registered charities. This should mean interest is frozen and if you are able to make a payment of, say, £1k per month this will see you debt free in three years. The defaults would remain on your credit record for six years after being registered by your creditors, but once the accounts are marked as settled then it may be possible to get a mortgage after a year or so: though others will be more knowledgeable than me.

Whatever you decide to do, good luck in becoming debt free

As a first step, I would go to the Stepchange website and fill in the debt remedy tool to see what advice they offer.

Neil