I just want to live

rockm87

I think you should honestly try and get sorted out first, I dont think bankruptcy should be your first option, and I think things are tight, but doable.

' I feel as if I am missing out on what could possibly be the best times of my life in my youth'...dont give into this...happiness is not money related...dont go round in circles before you realise that!

Mr Money Mustache all the way!

SadMary27

rockm87 wrote: »

I think you should honestly try and get sorted out first, I dont think bankruptcy should be your first option, and I think things are tight, but doable.

' I feel as if I am missing out on what could possibly be the best times of my life in my youth'...dont give into this...happiness is not money related...dont go round in circles before you realise that!

Mr Money Mustache all the way!

Thanks


I just want to word that a bit better. When I say live better, I am not meaning going out shopping, partying, regular holidays. That is what it looks like it means. I just mean I want to be able to do thing that I haven't for the last couple of years.


At the beginning of the year I made an effort to get my debts cleared, putting every last penny towards debts, and with interest, and only making the minimum payments I really feel like I have got nowhere. as the debt has been cut so little, and I don't know how much longer I can go on with it this way and just want a solution of sorts.


Hope that explains it better.

SadMary27

How open are the creditors to freezing interest for a few months? I feel that would really help me massively as then suddenly progress would be more clearer.


I was considering calling them. How am I best to approach it? Do I ask them how long I would like interest to be frozen for, or do I let them tell me what they can offer?

rockm87

SadMary27 wrote: »

Thanks


I just want to word that a bit better. When I say live better, I am not meaning going out shopping, partying, regular holidays. That is what it looks like it means. I just mean I want to be able to do thing that I haven't for the last couple of years.


At the beginning of the year I made an effort to get my debts cleared, putting every last penny towards debts, and with interest, and only making the minimum payments I really feel like I have got nowhere. as the debt has been cut so little, and I don't know how much longer I can go on with it this way and just want a solution of sorts.


Hope that explains it better.

Believe me I know! Ive been in debt for 7 years.

I used to pay off £6-7k a year off my cards....but always had £6-7k worth of debt, because I didnt change my lifestyle...I wasnt opulent...I used my credit for everyday things..bills..rent...you name it, it was the filler because I wasnt in control of my money.

Last year I managed to pay for a £8k wedding to my beloved, cash flowed entirely, and my debt stayed the same!

We dont go out, we shop at Lidl, we dont have high rent, and I dont spend on clothes or shoes...we just were simply not telling our money where to go....so it went where it liked!

trust me.

This year, I will pay off over £6k....for the end of the year.

and that is final.

I am never using credit again...you get nowhere!

You have my full support!

andyfromotley

Hi Mary,

welcome to the forum.

two things, You are relating your happiness to the amount of money you have spend. You need to try and break that link in your head. There are tons of things you can do for free that will make you happy. Try checking out meetup and similar, there is bound to be something on their that interests you. Night school, volunteering, allotment, etc etc etc. You can have a rich, happy and fulfilling life regardless of income.

You are in a big hole financially, no doubt. You didn't get there overnight and you won't get out of it overnight either. As i see it you have two choices.
1. Debt relief of some sort. Chat this through with National Debtline, Stepchange or CAP all of whom are totally free and get rave reviews on here. Think through the consequences of this, (there are consequences) they will be able to advise you.
2. Attack this debt like it is the worst thing you have ever seen. Your weapon to fight this is income! By my reckoning you are on about £27k but have to work most/some weekends. You need to increase your salary. Ask for a rise, change jobs, seek promotion, look for a job that is 9-5 and then take on weekend and evening work. Income is king for you in destroying this debt. Every extra pound you earn goes towards your debt and you soon start to shift it.

Either way you are in for a long slog and sadly there are no quick fixes, but you can live a happy life while you do either of these things. Always remember this will pass and you will one day be debt free, even if it doesn't feel like it right now. chin up mrs.

sourcrates

Hi,


Have to disagree with the above poster.

35k of debt, at your age, with no assets, I would not waste another moment thinking about it, I would declare myself Bankrupt, and have done with it, you may have to pay for a few years, but you could be discharged within a year, I would certainly look into this further, all other options would mean you would probably struggle for money for years to come, my opinion, having been there myself, would be to go Bankrupt, but get some good advice first, National Debtline best place for this.

bsclp118

I really feel for you and it sounds like you're in a similar situation as I am.

I'm really struggling at the moment as I am trying to put as much money as possible towards my debts, but at the same time I feel I have worked hard to get where I have in my career and I feel like I deserve a certain standard of living. Everyone on the forums are so helpful but as someone who a reasonable salary and has no children, I feel being told that I can do certain things much cheaper is not very realistic. Whilst I'm happy to cut my grocery bills and general spending I feel somethings like a nice hair cut (which for me is £40/month!) and a night out at least once a month keep me sane.

I had to close down some of my CC accounts so that I could no longer use the cards (my credit rating is too low for any new debt at the moment). If you call the creditors and tell them you are speaking to a debt charity they will put your accounts on hold for 30 days. I wouldn't necessarily recommend entering into a DMP, and definitely not bankruptcy, without considering the very serious implications it may have on your ability to get a mortgage in future. Speak to a debt charity by all means, but give yourself some breathing room to do your own research etc.

But yeah, I just wanted to say I agree things are really really tough and I also wish I'd not got myself into this mess. But hopefully keeping up with the minimal repayments and improving my credit score will allow me to get my interest down in future so that I can at least give myself a little more wiggle room. That's the plan anyway....

rockm87

bsclp118 wrote: »

I really feel for you and it sounds like you're in a similar situation as I am.

I'm really struggling at the moment as I am trying to put as much money as possible towards my debts, but at the same time I feel I have worked hard to get where I have in my career and I feel like I deserve a certain standard of living. Everyone on the forums are so helpful but as someone who a reasonable salary and has no children, I feel being told that I can do certain things much cheaper is not very realistic. Whilst I'm happy to cut my grocery bills and general spending I feel somethings like a nice hair cut (which for me is £40/month!) and a night out at least once a month keep me sane.

I had to close down some of my CC accounts so that I could no longer use the cards (my credit rating is too low for any new debt at the moment). If you call the creditors and tell them you are speaking to a debt charity they will put your accounts on hold for 30 days. I wouldn't necessarily recommend entering into a DMP, and definitely not bankruptcy, without considering the very serious implications it may have on your ability to get a mortgage in future. Speak to a debt charity by all means, but give yourself some breathing room to do your own research etc.

But yeah, I just wanted to say I agree things are really really tough and I also wish I'd not got myself into this mess. But hopefully keeping up with the minimal repayments and improving my credit score will allow me to get my interest down in future so that I can at least give myself a little more wiggle room. That's the plan anyway....

Sorry! Here is the problem. You have a nice hair cut but youre struggling...stressed out...because you have a sense of 'deserving' things you simply cant afford. This is why you are in a mess. You need to get over your sense of entitlement and just knuckle down.

andyfromotley

bsclp118 wrote: »

I really feel for you and it sounds like you're in a similar situation as I am.

I'm really struggling at the moment as I am trying to put as much money as possible towards my debts, but at the same time I feel I have worked hard to get where I have in my career and I feel like I deserve a certain standard of living. Everyone on the forums are so helpful but as someone who a reasonable salary and has no children, I feel being told that I can do certain things much cheaper is not very realistic. Whilst I'm happy to cut my grocery bills and general spending I feel somethings like a nice hair cut (which for me is £40/month!) and a night out at least once a month keep me sane.

This is the trouble of course. i'm guessing that you (like me, so i'm not flaming you) felt that you were entitled to a certain standard of living that you couldn't actually afford?

Its an interesting position and one that sums up the problem of entitlement.

bsclp118

Well I've decided that for me, being presentable for my job is quite important and have budgeted accordingly. I actually feel much less stressed having a realistic budget.

I want to pay back the debt, I realise it is mine to pay back, I don't feel entitled to it.

I have studied for 4 years and then spent another 4 years as a student doing my PhD. I have worked bloody hard to get where I am. If I had children perhaps I couldn't afford the luxury of a hair cut but for now atleast, I can and I don't feel that makes me the worst person on earth.