Is frugal the new normal?

Lynplatinum

Fascinated discussion!! thanks for starting it! :T

I think that it is all relative - what is poor for one person would be riches for someone else.

Ergo those who are used to a lot of money find it harder to manage - and I am glad not to be them! I am not being mean - just negative life events such as redundancy fall on them hard.

It is also about priorities - for me going out with friends is a priority - for others it might be clothes or expensive food ingredients or holidays. It should be OK to choose our own treats and extravagances!! No one should judge cos we all have treats which some others would find madness!

It is all about what suits us as a money saving/generating ways - I could, for example, dig up the garden and plant veg like GQ Much admired allotmenteer on here!) but I dont. I prioritize doing other things with my time (but I admire GQ!)

Finally - is this a passing Fad?? Hopefully not for the physical and financial health of the UK.

Big businesses and the banking industry have for too long had only profit at their heart. Now, I run my own businesses and, obviously, want/need to make a profit. But I make it in the most ethical way that I can - giving due consideration to the people involved as I can. I hope to spread happiness and helpfulness as I go along. Big business seems to be all about profit -I'm alright and stuff my workers! where are those who had some kind of conscience?

But if the more rational approach to buying/cooking/recycling/reusing/upcycling carries on maybe they will have to re-think their strategies!! If we all ate better and fresher food - we would all be less ill and the NHS bills would be less!! If we all thought before we bought - then there would be less stress etc etc

Capitalism would not collapse because people would buy what they could afford - but the financial products industry might be in trouble!

Here's to learning from the past but not necessarily wanting to go back there!

FairyPrincessk

I think you're right about the competitiveness GQ. I also think some are motivated by competition--it helps them feel accountable and I don't think there is anything wrong with that if it works for them.

Sometimes, however, I think people post about how they can look after their family for buttons because they want to reassure posters who are new that it is possible to survive their situation and to re-make their life. We get a regular influx of new posters who have found themselves in difficulties and are looking both for ideas and reassurance. Knowing that someone else has also done it really helps sometimes. I think it is about showing those posters what is possible. It is a fine line though--I catch myself sometimes posting ideas for meals etc. that I don't think are healthy long term--and yet the individual person only needs these measures for a few days and I don't want them to feel that they're doing undue harm by surviving.

I think that is where it comes back to the question of 'normal.' I live this as a long term lifestyle, so I make the best decisions I can about budgets. While I don't choose to buy expensive bags right now, I'm really glad that I invested in the above mentioned work bag when I did. Six years on it is still in excellent condition and it reminds me of the very particular circumstances in which I bought it. While the brand of the bag isn't relevant to most of what I post here, the sentiment behind it is--I bought the best quality I could afford at the time and that has served me well and should continue to do so for at least another six years, hopefully more. Ironically I wasn't particularly familiar with the brand when I bought it, but the bag had the features I wanted and was clearly made in a durable way. That, to me, is actually frugal and true thrift.

My objection to much of the trend for 'thrift' and 'vintage' is that I worry it props up a way of life that I don't think is sustainable--for us as a species, dwelling on this planet. The trend actually supports a kind of consumerism that isn't in line with the values that I think are important and that I'm trying hard to make central to my life. Take, for example, the mass produced 'retro' clothes that aren't well made and are sold at low prices as just another version of fast fashion to be discarded when the next trend comes along. I don't think people are 'bad' for wanting new clothing or buying cheap items or wanting to look a particular way--all of which I do myself at times-- but it does worry me as a general trend for our society.

Caterina

I think I need to clear a misunderstanding, when I mentioned my acquaintance who bought books on dog psychology, I must have given the impression that I was frowning upon the purchase of books in general if you are thrifty/frugal. Sorry if this was the case, as books are a really important part of my life and I know they are for many people!

It was just an example of someone saying they can't make ends meet, I knew this person to have serious debt, but she would buy random stuff (including several books). Frankly, when I could not make ends meet I just would not go on a shopping spree, be it books or anything else.

It was not what she purchased that irritated me in itself, it was her constant pleading poverty (and underpaying me in a job I was doing for her "because she could not afford to pay more") and not addressing the money issues in her life, then buying stuff. I have been on the breadline and I know that i just DID NOT HAVE THE MONEY to buy new books, I had to feed my family. I have met so many people over time, who claim to be skint and when you look closely at their lifestyle you wonder, after being skint yourself, if they have a clue. It seems to be part of the thrift fashion, to plead poverty!

So please accept my apologies if I have given the impression of frowning upon the purchase of books, it was far from my intention.

GreyQueen

Paradoxically, buying good quality items, which are usually more expensive than poor quality ones, is a thrifty practise. Because they last longer and give more satisfaction, and therefore you are less likely to want to replace them prematurely, like FPK valuing her work bag.

Being relatively poor, I need to buy most of my good quality items secondhand, like the lead crystal decanter nabbed for 20p at a jumble sale, or the lovely cotton velvet, lined and interlined curtains at the window in this room at my parents' house (50p from a jumble sale). I'd have them in my own flat but they don't fit the tall, narrow windows there

Commerce is always going to jump on bandwagons, and the thrifty-retro-shabby-chic thingy is bang on the money right now. Fashion will move on, and those who bought their frugal-looking lifestyle at full retail, rather than growing into it organically, will probably change to the next fad. Expect a rash of Kidsonesque housewares etc on the secondhand market in about 10 years.

So, if you have your eye on anything of that ilk, be patient, and it will come around on the pre-loved market, eventually.

fuddle

I think there's a huge problem with being on the bread line and having no physical money but access to credit.

Yes, someone can get stuff while having no money. We have a whole economy built on that scenario. I have a catalogue of failiures based on that scenario and yes, I have used my credit card for a purchase of non importance while having no money... it's called trying to just get through a horrible situation. when you're in the pit of debt that you cant see any way out of you have no choice but to continue down that path until bang!!

A book in that scenario is actually quite reserved, I feel.

Caterina

GQ wise words as always! You can't imagine how many times I think that having decluttered stuff in the 80s, how now I could sell for a hefty sum as "vintage"!

No longer interested in accumulating possessions, though. I totally subscribe to the principle of buying the best I can afford, with moderation and regard for the ethics of my purchase as well as the quality of the item. It means buying used if possible, but if I have to buy new to get whatever it is I need from a reputable trader, not someone who exploits people on the other side of the world.

Buying like this is more expensive but I accept that there is an intrinsic and often hidden cost in buying cheaper goods.

Sadly I am aware that not everybody has the choice that I now have, but while I do have this choice I try to exercise it for the benefit of others, as well as myself.

So yes I have a few excellent quality items of clothing, which will probably outlive me (the vintage items are proper vintage, from the wardrobe of my 86 year old Auntie!). Since I have embarked on this way of shopping, frugal and ethical(ish- as far as I know), I have now accumulated enough stuff that I no longer need to buy anything, not for a long time at any rate.

I would love a Radley bag, incidentally, but because I dont need it I won't buy it, but will happily admire someone else's one, certainly not judging their choice in a negative way.

But if someone comes to me and whines about being skint, then buys a Radley bag instead of, say, paying the energy bills then laments that they can't heat their home, that irritates me. But you know what? It's their business, not mine, ultimately! I have distanced myself from people who do this sort of thing recently because their negativity drains me.

How much more fun I have with my OS friends when we meet, swapping vouchers and tales of bargain hunts! It's a lifelong lifestyle for me!

Edited to say: Fuddle I completely take your point and understand, sorry if I might have come across as lacking in compassion. I was referring to a particular situation and a particular person and would not want to give more details as it would breech confidentiality about their life, which I don't want to do. But I take on board what you said, thank you for making me reflect on this.

mardatha

So.... I'm the only one on the thread who doesn't know what the utter hell a Radley bag is...but I've lived this long without knowing so I dare say I 'll cope :D
I think that having the knowledge to live a frugal life is what matters.. having that knowledge makes the world of difference whether you choose to use it or not.
And what other people think of us is none of our business, that's their business and I'm content to let them get on with it. My life matters to me, what they think of me does not.

elona

My middle dd has just bought her first house and had very little left to furnish it.

She bought a dining room table and chairs on gu**re* which are painted white with shabby chic brocade material on the chair seats and has matching window seats and bolster cushions. I hate to think what it would cost in one of shops or online sellers, probably about four hundred.or even more. Difference is that she did the painting and I did the upholstery buying originally very expensive material in a sale for a quarter of the price.

She really wanted a corner victorian looking unit and I found one in a charity shop for a tenner and presented it to her as a "whatnot"
and she painted it to match the chairs.

GQ

Interesting to hear about the bed. We paid around that five years ago and DH was :eek: but soon realised he had a great night's sleep and was the most comfortable we ever had.

I have recently found a certain brand of shoe seems much better for my feet but shy away from paying nearly £90 for a pair. I have just looked at the H*t*er sale online and got some for half price or less.

If I ever manage to sell this house and downsize to somewhere cheaper to run and easier to manage I will happily be able to amuse myself with the books I have and making a few small hand sewn projects as well as investigating things like WI, local history society etc.

Caterina

Elona is the h*t*er sale on? Brilliant! Having said I don't need anything, my mistake, I need a pair of winter boots, and their sale is great, and their shoes last for ages! Off to look, thank you very much!

GQ I am interested about the mattress too, as our I k e @ one is coming up to 20 years and the time is coming up when we will have to change it. I have often wondered whether it is worth paying a good sum for a new mattress and I really trust your opinion.

Living_proof

I have had two events in my life which have moulded me into the person I am today. The first was a series of redundancies experienced by my ex when my youngest DS was just a baby. The second was the breakup of that marriage followed by a war of attrition aka protracted divorce.

Thankfully now through all that now DS has finished uni and I just have myself to consider. I work for myself and always have enough to get by but give careful thought to any purchase with most of my clothes and household goods coming from a CS or CBS. In fact the only new purchase in the last few months is a garden shed at £1.5K which seems exorbitant but in reality will be an excellent investment and will change my life for the better. It's also rather pretty!

I judge the economic health of this nation by what it throws out or is willing to sell for peanuts at a car boot sale. By 2010, a couple of years after The Crash, there was a tangible decline in the quality of goods turning up in charity shops. People were hanging on to things as there was no longer the certainty in their minds that they could be re-purchased at a later date. Gradually this has all changed and I find it really hard to believe what people are almost giving away at car boots this summer. I am not complaining as it gives me the opportunity to buy exactly what I need or want at around 10% of the retail price, as long as I am prepared to wait. With food pretty much everything is cooked from scratch and bought when YS'd or on some sort of offer. I now have an allotment so can see the time when a huge proportion of my food is home-grown. Items required for the lottie are gleaned from many sources including skips! If I can re-use or re-purpose something I will do so.

Is it the new normal? No, I think it's just a fad for most people but I don't think we should knock it at that. Even a little knowledge or experience might help them at critical times in their future and let's face it not everyone would enjoy the sort of challenges we each set ourselves. We shouldn't judge but rather lead by example and help others where possible to improve their own situation.