Is frugal the new normal?

Goldiegirl

I've got my 'frugal credentials' as much as the next person.


My parents grew up in the 20's and 30's, my dad in rural poverty in Berkshire and my mum in a large family in Essex. Her father died when she was 9, leaving my nan with 6 young children.


Then there was the war, so my parents were fully part of the make do and mend generation. I have a photo of my mum in an evening dress, that was originally a curtain!


My parents married in 1955, and moved in with a relative in his rented house. When he died in 1958, they took over the tenancy and they lived in the same house for the rest of their married life


I came along in 1960, and my 60's and 70's childhood was fairly typical. I was an only child, so my parents could probably afford a little more than some of my friends. I don't ever recall wearing hand me downs from older cousins....but that maybe because my elder cousins were all boys! But my mum made most of my clothes, many of my Christmas presents were handmade by my parents. My dad grew a of his own vegetables, and we'd have occasional holidays of a week in Margate.


I married in 1981, and bought first my house in the same year, so I know all about the 15% mortgage interest rate.


I have a lot of gratitude and respect for my parents and my nan. Myself and my husband have never been big earners, but we've worked hard all our lives, and now find that we don't have to have the same lives as my nan and parents have.


Due to their hard work and our own hard work, we find ourselves. in a position where we can have some indulgences.


As I said earlier I average around £250 spending at the supermarket. We cook virtually everything from scratch, but food is a pleasure, not just a fuel, so we might spend more than other people.


I do things like collecting points and vouchers, and we grow some of our own fruit and vegetables.


I buy some things second hand from eBay, typically dresses for cruises, but I've bought quite a few clothes brand new this year, but I waited until the sales.


I even own some Radley bags


Oh yes, I mentioned cruises. This is our preferred holiday. As we've saved for these throughout our working lives, we want to enjoy the fruits of our labour and see some of the world. Maybe people think of these as exotic holidays but to us it's enjoying life while we can.


Not that we don't enjoy 'simple pleasures' either. We've been out for walks with a packed lunch several times this year, weather permitting of course.


I'm not on any bandwagon or making a fashion statement, I'm just living my life how I want to, and I've worked had to get to this point.


I know Radley bags are generally frowned upon in these parts, but don't judge me - I've paid my dues, and I think that my nan, mum and dad would be rather proud that I'm getting the chance to have the freedom they never had. I respect their lives - but I have the freedom to choose not to live their lives


I also respect people who've chosen to carry on living the same lives as they did during their formative years, so I hope my choices are seen as equally respectable and valid

bizzy_lizzie

Does being frugal mean you have to worry about money? I would have thought the complete opposite. If you are fairly frugal, have sensible budgets and keep to them then I would have thought far less likely to have to worry. Its them there other lot which end up in debt up to their eyeballs etc.

I think (hope!) that I don't moan about not having money but when I say I am skint I don't mean I have no money, I just mean I have spent my budget for that month. i.e. can you come to the pub, nope I am skint = pocket money for this month has already been spent and I am not about to start spending on food budget on cider, no matter how tempting.

I had no idea that saying you were skint and still buying books (different budget, honest) was a naughty thing

Lurking off now. Thank you for having me

PS I have a Radley bag (ebay)

FairyPrincessk

Goldiegirl--I'm not sure why you think we'd frown upon radley bags and a your supermarket spend. We spend roughly the same for two adults and I have a radley bag--which I bought new. I'm also a prolific OS poster. I also don't have a problem with spending money on the things that you want if you have it. I don't, however, spend a lot of time posting about those things on the OS board because I don't find them particularly relevant to our discussions--and indeed they aren't a huge part of my life at the moment as I make other decisions about where and how to put my money. I think what many of us are intrigued by is the idea of 'playing at being thrifty' while actually spending a great deal. The trend is something many of us have said we don't find objectionable although I think most of us are a bit interested in it. In particular a lot of us have had experiences of being judged for being frugal by the very people who are now interested in fashionable thrift but still have little interest in other aspects of an OS lifestyle.

GreyQueen

My income places me in the lowest 10% of wage earners but I don't feel particularly skint. Because I know how to live thriftily, and have always done so, and am always up for learning a new trick or three.

I don't expend much emotional energy on what other people choose to spend their money on. Firstly, it's not my business. Secondly, if they can afford it, why shouldn't they have it? If they can't afford it and end up on the ropes financially, it's still their business, not mine. Some people ask me for advice on thrift and stuff, IRL and on the PM system here. I'll share what I know, as a form of paying forward what has been shared with me, but what people choose to do with information is their business.

The economy would be in a poor old way if everyone was as thrifty as I am, and I regularly give thanks for all the lovely barely-used secondhand items, esp clothes, which I can buy for pennies on the pound. Someone bought them new, barely used them, and donated them. I'd like to send them big hugs and many thanks.:T

I do smile wryly when I poke around the several places near my home where large retail buildings are divided up into individual traders' stands and old furniture abounds. Typically bought as part of job lots at the aucton house up the road, where £50 will buy you a houseful of unremarkable 20th century furniture. Slap some chalky paint on it, swtich out the knobs, do a bit of stencilling/ inlay the wardrobe panels with fancy wallpaper and stick a hefty price tag on it.

A lot of it is grossly-overpriced for the amount of added value the refinishing has given it, but if they can get the money for it, more power to their elbow. I can't see the supply of unremarkable furniture going dirt cheap or free drying up any time soon, should I feel the urge to buy any. And with a background in art and design, I am more than capable of refinishing anything which takes my fancy, in many different ways. Heck, if I had space at home, I'd probably be busily revamping stuff for sale, too.:rotfl:

Also, as a person opposed to waste, I like to see old stuff being re-used, even if it means that some of it is what I consider to be overpriced.

Full disclosure; I haven't got a radley bag but they are lovely and I'd jump at the chance to get my mitts on one cheaply at a chazzer - I have looked at them new and don't consider them in my personal price range. I am very pleased with my F@t F@ce cross-body shoulderbag, bought last week for £2.99, though.:rotfl:

fuddle

A lovely bag they are too GQ although I got my FF cross body bag brand new :eek:

Nah, you don't have to be skint to be frugal, just as much as you can plead hard up and not be hard up, whether you buy a book or not. It's non of any ones business is it? I guess thrift or frugal is a good thing and even if it is a fad for some people, you never know, they might learn something that they wouldn't ordinarily learn.

I do take on FPK's point of talking/not talking about things that aren't strictly OS. I don't advertise all that I buy - your eyes would water I'm sure over what I have to pay for my large over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders. :eek: but that doesn't mean I don't watch my budget closely. We do have spare income when we watch carefully. We're surviving on one salary again and feel very lucky we are in a position to do it. We could bring in more money again quite easily in the line of work I have given up but at different costs. Anyway, that's a different story.

What I am trying to say is that when I was working I wasn't able to be this frugal. I didn't have time to work at this way of life. The skill set I had wasn't used.

It's a way of life, it's a make ends meat that I prefer. My family choose to be frugal because I'm good at it, enjoy it and our family life is better for that being my job.

Our family choose to be frugal, I'd like to think I was thrifty and savvy with it too but the fashion, fad, interest etc doesn't hinder me doing that. Likewise, when I do have a run of expenses and I do find myself in a bit of pickle financially and we really are skint... I still wear my Fat F@ce bag and maybe my J0ules body warmer. Not high end names no but hardly appropriate for a family that really is hard up this month because of one thing or another.

Just don't judge I guess.

Goldiegirl

bizzy_lizzie wrote: »

Does being frugal mean you have to worry about money? I would have thought the complete opposite. If you are fairly frugal, have sensible budgets and keep to them then I would have thought far less likely to have to worry. Its them there other lot which end up in debt up to their eyeballs etc.



I had no idea that saying you were skint and still buying books (different budget, honest) was a naughty thing

)

I can understand why people who are being frugal due to severe lack of income would worry about money.

But possibly those who are being frugal because they always have been this way, maybe still worry about money, because it's what they've always done, and haven't got out of the habit, even though they don't really need too these days

I suppose the truly frugal would suggest the library for books, but if you've allocated money for book purchases and it gives you pleasure,
how could any book purchase be naughty!

Goldiegirl

FairyPrincessk wrote: »

Goldiegirl--I'm not sure why you think we'd frown upon radley bags and a your supermarket spend.

I think it's because I often see comments around the boards saying things like 'I don't need designer stuff to make me happy', or 'it's ridiculous what people will spend on a handbag.

It gives the impression there's a negative vibe towards labelled items

For what it's worth, I've 4 Radley bags, bought over a number of years on various cruise ships, where the prices are cheaper than the high street, and I also get a loyalty discount. I could live without them, but they are beautiful items, that I enjoy.


As for the supermarket spend. I often see threads where someone asks 'I spend £xxx on my monthly shop for my family, is this ok'. The figure quoted often seems quite reasonable, but someone will always come along to tell the OP that they are spending a fortune, and they feed their bigger family on half the amount. So I've no doubt there will be many who think I spend a lot!

On the original subject, I think people who've decided to upscale second hand things are doing it because they've seen it on the TV. I doubt if they've even made the connection that for some people 'making do and mend' is a way of life.

I think it's just a fashion trend, not a new normality.

meritaten

I think its both. so many people who were on decent wages and lived within their means, now find themselves struggling. and yes it IS galling that much wealthier people now pat themselves on the back for their 'thrifty ways', when they just spent a small fortune on a second-hand 'revamped' item. they didn't buy it because it was all they could afford and tarted up themselves (which is highly satisfying), but because its 'the fashion'.
I was brought up by mum,dad and grandparents who had been through World War 2, and the rationing mentality never left them. I was also a miners wife during the strike 30 years ago - and thanked mum, dad and especially my grandparents for teaching me how to make a pound do the work of ten.
today - there are those who genuinely ARE thrifty and frugal - and then there are those who are merely playing at it.

GreyQueen

I suppose it's only human to be competitive, even if it's in the form of one-downmanship.Like bragging that you can feed a family of ten on a mug of porridge and three elastic bands per week, or have lived for the summer in a tent fashioned from your great-grannie's winceyette bloomers, chewing grass and drinking rainwater.

I don't think you'll ever eliminate competitive behaviour, of this form or any other, so it's best to smile quietly to oneself and go happily about one's own business.

I spend my money where it makes me happy. Almost no one knows I have a very very expensive mattress (just shy of £1k in 2012 and worth every blinking penny). Hell, none of the cars I ever had cost that much, but I am anticipating a 20 year working life from the Hypn0s and that will mean it cost me £2 a week for sleeping blissfully. And I shall have saved up to buy another one, by then, which should see me out.:rotfl:

I love quality stuff and would happily buy the best of every category I use, if I had but the means.

****** wanders off plotting the radley-bag-in-the-chazzer-hunt*****

[Deleted User]

meritaten I think I still have the 'rationing' mentality as I was 10 when rationing finished and so knew of no other way really.

I had a pretty clever Mum who could make a shilling do the work of ten at times.Thrifyiness or frugality is really how I am.

I just hate waste of any sort and constantly see ways to make things go further.

Luckily though, back in the early 1980s when my OH came home from a contract in the Sudan he had no job for 16 months, and times were pretty lean.

We had a mortgage which was around 15% plus two DDs at a private school.
At one point I was working three jobs a day, and not getting a great deal of sleep,but managed to keep up the mortage payments and the kids school fees.

At 15 and 13 we decide that no matter what, if we could, the schools that the girls were at were worth every penny.

So belts were tightened and there were times when I felt the wolf banging on the door but having had my Mums ideas ingrained into me some how we got through it all.

Eventually my OH got work and the kids stayed at their school until they were 17.

Now I am sadly widowed for the past 12 years, and have a reasonable income but still find it hard to waste money.

I like to use the cash I do have to help my youngest DD and her brood.

The eldest DD's children are grown up and both her and her OH are quite comfortably off.

But both of my DDs still have bits of me that's rubbed off.
The eldest will look for bargains, even though she isn't short of cash, and my youngest, bless her still is struggling a bit as she had a large family

Her eldest has now left home and the next one down Ben is at Uni. She still has three boys of 15,14 & 11.so money still is a bit tight in their house .This year since June I have been paying DGS Bens student flat rent for him as his grant doesn't arrive until mid September.I don't mind as it what I like to do is use my cash to help my DGC.They all know the value of money and none of themspalsh cash unecessarily.So my old Mums ways have not only helped me but have been carried on down to her grandchildren and gt grandchildren as well.

Where I live there is a 'shabby chic' shop which we all call the 'I see you coming shop' as the prices are absurd in there I enjoy finding old bits of unloved cupboards or desks or chests of drawers and renovating them for my grandchildren. As for chazzers I don't think I could pass one by without having a peek,although even they are getting pricey at times .

I cook from scratch because I like to know what I'm eating and don't want to eat junk food full of chemicals.I often have a look in the smarter shops and think I could make that at home for half the price (and often do )But I agree lots of the 'cheaper foods' which have become 'trendy ' have gone up in price .No doubt when the recession is over and folk go back to their old ways lentils ect will come down in price .When I was a child kippers were a cheap tasty meal but they ,like all fish, have risen in price

But I'll keep my frugally ways and looking out for bargains I am far too old to change now :):)

JackieO xx