Is this standard in the workplace?

PeacefulWaters

Threebabes wrote: »

I bet my husband at work............

Did you end up single, or committing bigomy?

miss_independent

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

It's an academy, isn't it?

You have my condolences.

It's an independent boarding school Jojo. Nearly ended up at an Academy though! And I may still as this position is only for a year to cover long term sickness although there is most likely going to be an option to stay on at the end of the contract, if I'm good

Must keep my reply brief as have to work very soon.

I do of course see the need to be discreet and keep relationships private. I suppose the fact that many of us are also living on school property complicates things more (although the policy is the same for non-residential staff). I doubt this policy will affect me personally so I don't think I will contact my Union but I do have friends in higher management in schools back home so I might, out of nosiness, bring it up next time we have a chat.

I agree that I know lots of married couples that are teachers who at some point have worked together, most usually meeting on the job. There is also a separate policy for married members of staff and married staff who live on site (where one is a teacher and one isn't) and it seems very strict.

It's quite a strange one as the school is in a remote location and, for example, a group of us are going to the cinema at the weekend in another town together and from what I've heard staff seem to meet quite regularly socially during free time and go for meals off site etc. Some staff have even mentioned that they go on holidays together. So I don't see how it would be enforceable. Being the kind of school it is (residential and isolated) I can see why relationships between staff are a) difficult to hide and b) inevitably going to happen as the only people we get to mix with are each other.

I'm not interested in a relationship at the moment full stop so as I say it won't affect me but I did find the policy a bit strange and as others have mentioned, I thought to myself, "how would they enforce that?"

duchy

As its a residential school I think it's a very clear message that staff are expected to sleep in their own beds not on morality grounds but to avoid discipline issues when trying to teach and the class are all giggling cos Miss was spotted leaving Sir,s room in the early morning.

Makes more sense now.

As for enforcing it the easiest way would be to remove residential rights of one or other of the couple so one had to live out and the relationship wouldn't be under the school roof.

Or it may just be one of those rules that management ignore unless a relationship causes problems within a school but it gives them an instrument to use if people behave unprofessionally or are not discreet. The key phrase is "if it comes to their attention" it means make sure it doesn't come to their attention...... not don't have relationships (which will inevitably form sometimes)

flutterbyuk25

It's been standard practise in most jobs I've had (civil service, charity and private sector) that you at least declare that you are in a relationship with the colleague to management, who then can request you do not work directly together.

I met my OH at work in my old job, but I did not work directly with him, nor in same office. Once we were serious about it beign a relationship I told my line manager to be open and honest about it. We only worked together for 6 more weeks then so it wasn't an issue.

It can have serious consequences though, as of yesterday my line manager in current job was escorted off the premises and suspended due to continuously lying about his relationship with a subordinate!! :eek:

Gloomendoom

flutterbyuk25 wrote: »

It's been standard practise in most jobs I've had (civil service, charity and private sector) that you at least declare that you are in a relationship with the colleague to management, who then can request you do not work directly together.

I never been aware of it myself. It certainly isn't policy where I work now.

On occasions, I work directly together with my wife. Sometimes she shares my office. Apart from her stinking it out with nail varnish, it's never been a problem.

thorsoak

When two friends who worked for the same bank, in the same branch, one of them was transferred to another branch.

Cuilean

I'm not sure if it's enforceable or fair, but if it's a rule and someone is found to be violating it, they could potentially go after them for some sort of misconduct. A bit sad that they feel the need to have such a rule, but maybe something has happened in the past that's made them feel it's necessary?

The problem we've got as teachers is that we're public figures for our school's community. Kids think it's hilarious when they see us being regular human beings outside of the school day. There's always going to be that gossipy parent/child who'll delight in telling the world what they saw when they get to the playground the next day - whether that's that they saw you buying a red top newspaper in Sainsbury's, or that your kids were having an almighty tantrum at the park. We're in the public eye, which makes us fair game for judging, whether we like it or not. You have to watch every step.

While I've never been in a relationship with another teacher, my last school was rife with colleagues having relationships. Some were affairs, some were just two single people enjoying each other's company. The management team knew, but turned a blind eye, taking the view that if their teaching performance was good, it didn't matter what they got up to in their own time. There was certainly no formal rule.

hhermione666

I know some company disallow workplace relationships. In the direct case, the policy will clearly state dating a co-worker is prohibited. I have a friend working in a moulding company .when he resigned from that company, his girl friend, at the same time was his colleague had to quit. for this kind of company, they are sensible to technology secrets issues. The more common situation is that one party reports to another ,then office relationship may cause some trouble . As for teaching post ,I have never heard that relationships will be prohibited since I see no reason to do that.

onomatopoeia99

Cuilean wrote: »

I'm not sure if it's enforceable or fair

Nor am I, if the policy was tested against article 8 in a senior court it could be found in conflict.

Tropez

I don't work in teaching but a similar rules exist at my employer but due to various laws it is quite complicated.

Staff who enter into a relationship with other staff are asked to disclose that relationship to HR. They don't need to disclose that relationship to anybody else, including managers, if they do not wish to do so. However, if a manager has reason to suspect that there is a relationship going on and that relationship might be affecting work then they can ask HR if one of the parties involved has disclosed a relationship. HR can answer yes or no, but cannot give specific details, and can only answer yes or no if there is seen to be adequate cause for the manager to ask in the first place.

The reason for this is that it has been found to cut down on sexual harassment accusations, where a spurned lover makes all sorts of claims about their former partner. It is also a form of protection for the company if disciplinary measures are taken against one party for a failure to do their job properly such as if a front-line call-taker began assigning all new clients to their new partner, rather than distributing them evenly as they are supposed to.

However, because from a legal perspective there is an argument that forcing people to disclose relationships is in breach of the Human Rights Act or European Convention on Human Rights, specifically the right to a private life, the company can't actually make anyone disclose a relationship.

Therefore, to encourage people to do so they argue the benefits of doing so. For example, if a workplace relationship ends on bad terms and a previously satisfactory employee suddenly starts under-performing, rather than fire them or discipline them to an extent where their record with the company would be black-marked, the company can where possible consider moving them to another department, which has on occasion even involved re-training at the company's expense. They can also arrange counselling sessions if wanted.

But a lot of it can depend on various things, such as department involved, employee level (they really dislike managers dating junior staff because it can cause huge issues), and if one party in a relationship moves to a rival company then things can get really complicated if they were managing our clients.

An innocent workplace relationship can cause such massive legal and productivity complications for an employer many employers do try to minimise such things. We discourage it but accept it happens, so try to cover our own backsides as well as our employees.