Is this standard in the workplace?

miss_independent

I've just started my first teaching post. We have been given a written policy saying that relationships between colleagues are strongly discouraged and the head has the right to ask for a relationship to be brought to an end should it come to their attention that one has developed. I was just wondering if this is a standard thing now?

I can see why relationships between colleagues can be a bad idea. My last relationship was with a colleague and ended badly after a long period of being very much in love. I still had to see him every day until we both left but luckily we were both mature and professional enough to not let it affect our work or have a negative impact on the other people that we worked with. I'd also imagine that this kind of policy would offer some protection from harassment or embarrassment (no end of term party flings lol, not that I'm that kind of person).

On the other hand, most couples I know met at work or at a place of study, my parents included. Growing up, some of my teachers were married to each other and I've seen similar things amongst doctors, dentists and other professionals. Work is where you spend most of your waking time and surely, at times, with like minded people, it would be easy feelings to emerge between people as they do naturally. I suppose I found the concept that you, effectively, aren't allowed a relationship with someone in the work place a little strange and wondered if this kind of policy is a commonplace thing now?

Gingernutty

You are in a school where nothing is a secret.

"Sir" and "Miss" in a relationship could result in some awkward classroom confrontations/situations as well as in the staff room.

I have been in places where relationships have to be declared and where they have been discouraged but not where management can ask for one to end.

itsanne

As a retired teacher, I've never come across this and have known colleagues get married. I don't see how it would be enforceable.

Savvy_Sue

miss_independent wrote: »

I've just started my first teaching post. We have been given a written policy saying that relationships between colleagues are strongly discouraged and the head has the right to ask for a relationship to be brought to an end should it come to their attention that one has developed.

That's very carefully worded, isn't it?

Of course the head has the right to ask for a relationship to be brought to an end, just as the head has to right to ask you all to wear pink on Fridays, but I am not sure what the head could do if you declined.

It's certainly not universal.

Having said that, relationships between work colleagues do need to be handled carefully and professionally, and in some workplaces it may be sensible for one or the other to move on, especially if one reports to the other.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

It's an academy, isn't it?

You have my condolences.

Threebabes

A pair of teachers married whilst in my daughter was in primary.

Several couples are married in my other daughters secondary school.

I bet my husband at work............

Person_one

Seems a bit harsh considering teachers seem to marry other teachers for the most part!

Speak to your union.

GwylimT

To be fair the amount of teacheras I have known to have affairs with other married teachers is outrageous.

barbarawright

What does your union say about this?

ellesbellesxxx

I was going to say this isn't standard practice as two of my teaching colleagues left their husband/wife for each other... We all suspected something was going on for months before it came out. They have never been asked to stop their relationship, how can someone stipulate that... Surely they would just lie?!

duchy

So when it eventually comes out both teachers gain a reputation as liars. Not great for role models or professional reputation.

I'd read that policy as a clear indication that this particular school expects any relationships to be discreet and kept out of school . Doesn't seem a huge ask and one most professionals can manage. Maybe in the past someone didn't and that is why there is a policy even if it is unenforceable .....although there is a message there that if you want to get on at this school keep your private life private.

Kids are nosey little beasts . I was once told by a group of year 8s that they had seen one of my colleagues go into the pub at noon and leave at 5pm on a Sunday and drive away. They were very disapproving both of how long she was in there and that they believed she had drunk and driven (she probably had ) had she left with the science teacher Who she happened to be sleeping with (both were engaged to other people) I can only imagine what they'd have though and the discipline issues both teachers would have had.

My sons primary head resigned when left his wife and went off with the year six teacher.....but perhaps the fact it was a church school had more to do with it than if it was a state school.

I remember a friend who worked in a high street bank branch was made to transfer as she was in a relationship with the bank manager and there were strict rules couples couldn't work in the same branch ......the same rule also applied to Thomas Cook when they were owned by Midland bank too. You couldn't be sacked for it but you certainly be transferred with little say as to where at short notice. The bank unions didn't appear to have a problem with it either.