College informing my daughter she is a failure

Janepig

I always feel quite sad when at 16/17/18 people feel their life is over because they haven't got the grades they want and I would have thought that with life experience behind them then people around them should be more encouraging, like some of the posts we've seen on here. As has been said, we all know people who bombed at school but came good.

I was amazed to find out recently that the fella who sits next to me at work (who is in his fifties but fairly new to the job having done a degree and retrained in his forties) was expelled from school in his teens. To be fair, this was a time when it was alot easier to be expelled, not like now where you have to half kill someone and they'll still give you another chance!

But anyway, he's the last person I expected to come out with a tale of his school experience like he told us, we were all really surprised. He hardly attended, he would go in through the front gates and back out again and bunk off for the day. He put it that he really wasn't ready to learn back then, but has obviously now done really well for himself and even though he's not been in the job long, I find him a really good source of advice and help, particularly in relation to his previous job.

The job I do was something I never ever considered when I left school, I wouldn't have believed anyone if they'd said this was what I'd be doing - I started in an admin role, got some experience in the organisation and moved up. Not far up, granted, but that's through my choice. I've worked with countless people over the years who have either come to this line of work later in life, or got fed up of it and re-trained as teachers, nurses, social workers, etc... It's never too late.

OP, what's happened to your DD is a setback, a disappointing setback. Life's going to be full of them for her and as natural as it is for you to want to protect her, this isn't the first time she's going to not get what she wants out of life. Good idea for her to get some work experience and maybe re-assess for a bit.

Jx

Homeagain

Person_one wrote: »

Hang on, that's unnecessarily harsh.

Lets not forget that the OP's daughter has achieved merits for the level 2, that's a comfortable pass, not the lowest grade, and a good achievement for somebody who finds study more challenging than others.

OP, I completely understand why you're upset and think its a real shame they won't let her even attempt level 3, but agree with others that taking time to re-focus, gather yourselves and look at the GCSE situation is the best bet now.

Good luck to her.

Thank you. You are right, that particular post was unnecessarily harsh. I have given her the space to re-focus, lick her wounds and she has agreed to re-take her GCSEs but will not even consider an apprenticeship but its early days I suppose. However, in the last few days she developed septicaemia in her leg from a blister and now has tonsillitis - poor thing. This is clearly not her year but all I can do is offer support and just care for her. What a couple of weeks is has been!!

Homeagain

Homeownertobe wrote: »

I don't think it is. She may well have achieved merits, but they require distinctions as well as a C at GCSE. The OP's daughter has failed to get a C on two separate occasions - should the college ignore that failure?

None of this revenge business is helping her daughter but some of it may harm her, and I can guarantee putting her daughter in the local press - forever - will do more harm than good.

but


I will not be going to the press. I was just angry and upset. I regret having made such a silly suggestion.

Homeagain

carmina_piranha wrote: »

Our college has a cabin, and runs a cabin crew course at night. I don't know what level it is, but this may be something for her to look at if available in your area, for next year if she can pass her English GCSE this year.

Did she get a D both times? Also, does she have any additional needs that haven't been supported during English lessons?

.


Thank you, there was some talk at the meeting I had of the college introducing this course next year but it was rather vague. She got a D in English and an F in Math. I think that the additional needs that she does clearly have were either overlooked or ignored.

Homeagain

Janepig wrote: »

I always feel quite sad when at 16/17/18 people feel their life is over because they haven't got the grades they want and I would have thought that with life experience behind them then people around them should be more encouraging, like some of the posts we've seen on here. As has been said, we all know people who bombed at school but came good.

I was amazed to find out recently that the fella who sits next to me at work (who is in his fifties but fairly new to the job having done a degree and retrained in his forties) was expelled from school in his teens. To be fair, this was a time when it was alot easier to be expelled, not like now where you have to half kill someone and they'll still give you another chance!

But anyway, he's the last person I expected to come out with a tale of his school experience like he told us, we were all really surprised. He hardly attended, he would go in through the front gates and back out again and bunk off for the day. He put it that he really wasn't ready to learn back then, but has obviously now done really well for himself and even though he's not been in the job long, I find him a really good source of advice and help, particularly in relation to his previous job.

The job I do was something I never ever considered when I left school, I wouldn't have believed anyone if they'd said this was what I'd be doing - I started in an admin role, got some experience in the organisation and moved up. Not far up, granted, but that's through my choice. I've worked with countless people over the years who have either come to this line of work later in life, or got fed up of it and re-trained as teachers, nurses, social workers, etc... It's never too late.

OP, what's happened to your DD is a setback, a disappointing setback. Life's going to be full of them for her and as natural as it is for you to want to protect her, this isn't the first time she's going to not get what she wants out of life. Good idea for her to get some work experience and maybe re-assess for a bit.

Jx

Thank you so much for the positive advice which I take on board - and to everyone else too. I can't tell you how much everyone's comments have affected me and helped me focus. I have passed all the advice on to my daughter and I truly believe it has made a difference and given her hope. You are good people.

carmina_piranha

Homeagain wrote: »

.


Thank you, there was some talk at the meeting I had of the college introducing this course next year but it was rather vague. She got a D in English and an F in Math. I think that the additional needs that she does clearly have were either overlooked or ignored.

If she's going back to college it may be worth talking to the support staff to see if there's anything that could be done differently.

Sometimes pupils don't like to accept support because they are embarrassed or just don't think they need it, or want to see how they get on without it.

Or sometimes there are strategies that could be used even if they don't need in-class support, such as using a dictaphone to record the lessons, getting print-outs enlarged or on coloured paper, etc.

My son will need some form of support this year, but he's reluctant and awkward, and because it involves both talking (oh the horror!) AND attending appointments at the correct time he has so far told them he doesn't want support. If he told them it's because he is unlikely to remember to attend, and hates talking, they would try to help - but instead he mumbled that he's fine without it. Now that he's given his head a wobble, he's still too awkward to make that first move so has asked me to help.

KMR1984

My local police force posted a link to the following the other day, aimed at 16-25 year olds who are unsure of what to do next, or just need a confidence boost.


It's only a 12 week course, but can open up new prospects and give new ideas to young people in regards to what they want to do with their future. I don't personally know anyone who has taken part, but seemed like a wonderful idea for those who feel sort of lost during this transitional period in their lives.


http://www.princes-trust.org.uk/need_help/courses/team.aspx?gclid=CNbtuoWF2McCFUUcGwodps0J6g

jaylee3

Homeownertobe wrote: »

If you go to the local press your daughter will be humiliated, not the college. She can't do the course because she couldn't pass her GCSE at the required level - that is all anyone will remember.

I think you're beginning to take this a little too far. Your daughter isn't good enough for the course - nothing will change that and all you're doing is teaching your daughter that she is entitled to do things she wants to do regardless of the clearly expressed boundaries. You're doing her no favours.

Person_one wrote: »

Hang on, that's unnecessarily harsh.

Lets not forget that the OP's daughter has achieved merits for the level 2, that's a comfortable pass, not the lowest grade, and a good achievement for somebody who finds study more challenging than others.

OP, I completely understand why you're upset and think its a real shame they won't let her even attempt level 3, but agree with others that taking time to re-focus, gather yourselves and look at the GCSE situation is the best bet now.

Good luck to her.

Homeagain wrote: »

Thank you. You are right, that particular post was unnecessarily harsh. I have given her the space to re-focus, lick her wounds and she has agreed to re-take her GCSEs but will not even consider an apprenticeship but its early days I suppose. However, in the last few days she developed septicaemia in her leg from a blister and now has tonsillitis - poor thing. This is clearly not her year but all I can do is offer support and just care for her. What a couple of weeks is has been!!

I agree with Person One; that post by homeownertobe was out of order. The girl needs support, not to be told 'you're not good enough so get over it.' I don't think young people need to be told that they are perfect little special snowflakes, and that they are great at everything (because no-one is great at everything!) but they do need encouragement to do well in what they are good at.

She has a great mother in you, and I am sure she will be fine. if she wants to work at a shop for a while before she feels useless academically, then let her; she can always go back to education at a later date. My friend's daughter started her A levels at 18, instead of 16, because she bombed in her GCSE's and she ended up getting Cs and Bs and went on to uni at 20.

I wish her well. Teens is a very difficult time!

sheramber

This page gives general advice on becoming an air hostess

http://www.heathrowcareers.co.uk/air-hostess-training-and-requirements/