avoiding someone at event

catoutthebag

I have a massive social event to attend invited by a friend.
They have also invited someone else who saw me as a friend but were probably on acquaintance level. We had a big bust up 4 months ago and this person said some nasty stuff. They are not a nice person. Not spoken since and I have no intention to

So how do I avoid? It is a formal occasion. There will be others I vaguely know present. Likely we cross paths. Don't want any awkwardness etc

Any tips? I'm thinking completely avoid ANY contact whatsoever including eye contact etc

gettingtheresometime

I've mentioned on previous posts that I haven't spoken to my father for25 years.

However during that time there have been events that we've both attended and our paths have crossed.

I have tended to keep the conversation polite but brief.

Given that this event is a formal event I think politeness and manners are the key

catoutthebag

Yes but this person said things very below the belt.
I have nothing to say to them nor do I wish them to speak to me. It's done and dusted. .
I guess I am thinking if it is feasible to just ensure we don't physically cross paths etx . If that succeeds all be well.

I understand your father situation. I was in similar situation for nearly 20 years. Things bit better now

atrixblue.-MFR-.

Why have you got to "limit" your enjoyment of the occasion TBH, I wouldn't care less if they were there, I would enjoy every ounce of the occasion.

If they do approach you and say hi a simple confused faced and a "i'm sorry do I know you?" and when they say I'm" so and so don't you remember?", simply say "nope, sorry you must have me confused with someone else ( and think who actually gives a SHT") and walk away.

It makes them feel inferior, and also makes them think they weren't important to you nor that the heated exchange of words actually hurt you and that you have moved on from it all and don't care about them nor think about them.

ognum

I would also suggest that you do not act in a way that diminishes you. If you are in close proximity and other people are around simply be polite and then excuse yourself.

Don't make others feel uncomfortable because of your argument that only makes you look childish and reduces the respect others have for you.

So, be polite and move on.

maman

ognum wrote: »

So, be polite and move on.

That's what I'd do too. I certainly wouldn't be sarcastically pretending not to recognise them.


We went to a wedding a few months ago and DH's ex was there, a complete surprise to us. I just gave her a wide berth and chatted to all the people I knew well to show her how much I was enjoying myself with all the people I chose to spend time with. I did avoid eye contact too but didn't get so close that I needed to speak to her.


I'm not sure what sort of formal occasion you're going to but try to be seen to be enjoying yourself and keep circulating and smiling.

missbiggles1

It's a formal event so behave formally. It's just this sort of situation that good manners are useful for, so use them.

Pollycat

ognum wrote: »

I would also suggest that you do not act in a way that diminishes you. If you are in close proximity and other people are around simply be polite and then excuse yourself.

Don't make others feel uncomfortable because of your argument that only makes you look childish and reduces the respect others have for you.

So, be polite and move on.

I agree with this.

I'm assuming the friend who invited you both isn't aware of the issue between you?
What if he/she unwittingly gets you together at this event?
How will you deal with that?
Would it be better to explain - no need to go into details - that you would not wish to socialise with this person at the function?
I'm thinking about if your friend decides to introduce you both around to other guests.

It's one thing to be polite to someone fleetingly before moving on but that may be hard if your friend is going to have both of you together socially.

ciderwithrosie_2

You have to be the bigger person and rise above it. Keep any contact polite and perfunctory. Don't get drunk (if alcohol is involved at all) as your composure may slip, you could end up saying or doing something you may regret, and make yourself look foolish in front of others.

Delree

How old are you? I'm assuming in your teens.

catoutthebag

Thanks for all the positive responses. Taken on board and ill utilise them.