Private education???

findingmyownway

maz123 wrote: »

Yes private schools tend to be shorter terms but my sons dad lives in spain so he gets flown out there for holidays.

Feel like i'm butting in here, but this sentence jumped out at me. From what you've said your son is in the care of the school for 10 hours a day - and spends school holidays out of the country?! Do you ever get to see him? Maybe this is why you don't find out whats going on with him at school - he never has chance to tell you.

Maybe, rather than paying for private education, you would consider reducing hours and spending some time with your son?

At such a young age, formal schooling can only have a limited effect on a child learning. Its the general day-to-day spending time with parents, cooking, cleaning, day trips to town etc that mean he can pick up words/sounds etc without it seeming like an endless school day.

whitewing

findingmyownway wrote: »

Feel like i'm butting in here, but this sentence jumped out at me. From what you've said your son is in the care of the school for 10 hours a day - and spends school holidays out of the country?! Do you ever get to see him? Maybe this is why you don't find out whats going on with him at school - he never has chance to tell you.

Maybe, rather than paying for private education, you would consider reducing hours and spending some time with your son?

At such a young age, formal schooling can only have a limited effect on a child learning. Its the general day-to-day spending time with parents, cooking, cleaning, day trips to town etc that mean he can pick up words/sounds etc without it seeming like an endless school day.

Oh, I feel so sorry for maz in reading your post here. It is so hard to be a working parent and to be feeling that you aren't doing your best for your child. My son used to see his father in the school holidays and, altho I could never say, I so hated it because I wanted him to be with me and felt that his dad got the best bits (son's dad works abroad too). You can never win as a parent regardless of how much or little you work. So maz, whatever you decide is best for you, and your partner and your child, you have my full support and any help I can give.

maz123_2

Whitewing - thankyou that made me cry:o

Findingmyownway - Ouch! for the last year i've been working for 2 1/2 days only so that i can drop off my son to school and collect him on fridays, his father lives abroad and i fly him out to see him otherwise he would not see his dad. Yes i see my son and ensure that we have time together.

I have been speaking to other parents etc and have yet to find someone who is happy,(i know we are a noation of moaners i work for the NHS) but the issues i feel i have are genuine ones and not to be brushed under the carpet.

td - thankyou in replying as a teacher as i feel that i have not wanted to belittle the teacher that he has had. I feel that some of the problems are that his teacher was newly qualified and covering for mat leave, not that this is an excuse. It's just hard to have a conversation with someone who looks that young, and is just so nice!!!(but i have tried:o )

He goes back to school in september for after school club only, partner taking him to school.
I WILL SPEAK TO HIS NEW TEACHER
Speaking to someone tomorrow about 2nd job this will be 1 night shift every other week so i can feel more guilty about being away from my son

mrcow

maz123 wrote: »

No commnication with the school, so i missed parents evenings, pictures non-uniform days school clothes going missing, extra curricular activites.

It's not the necessarily the school's fault.

As a parent you should make it your job to find out about such things as parents evenings and homework.

Perhaps it would be helpful to make time to go through your son's reading and writing each day to make sure he keeps a healthy interest in it before he gives up completely. If he's not bringing suitable books home from school regularly enough to keep him stimulated, then make sure you go to the library each week with him and get him some challenging books. Or get him to read books that he already has at home.

As with everything regarding children, the more time you invest in him, the more rewarding it becomes. The school simply are not capable of ruining his primary education if you don't allow them to do so.

BernadetteN

Maz123 ... ah the beauties of the internet, people can say what they really think. Don't get upset by anyone's comments but think on the positive side to them. Also, because people can say what they think, it really can help because strangers without attachment to you can see where thinkgs may be going wrong or right, and sometimes you get the answers you may not like to hear but make you sit up and think they may have a point (thinking in particular about the comments at lack of time spent with son).

You need to sit down and think logically about your debts and justify every penny spent. You need to think whether your work hours are going to have a long term affect on your son.

If your second job gets your debts cleared and it's a short term solution and then you can reduce your hours again, then it's unlikely to have any lasting damage. Parents are normally the best people to offer their children care, but in the absence of parents (during childcare or school), strong relationships, routine and long term consistency are important too.

Otherwise you decide whether it's more important to prioritze your son for the short term and see if you can shift your debt clearing till a little later (you're in the best place to get advice on that anyway) and spend more time at home.

findingmyownway

I am sorry if my post yesterday upset you - that was truely not my intention. I can only imagine how hard the situation is for you. Of course your son should have a relationship with his Dad, and if he is abroad then sending him away for school holidays i guess is the only option.

I agree with MRCOW - keeping your sons interest in learning alive while at home is the key to maintaining progress when school conditions are less than ideal.

Its definatly a good idea to talk to his new teacher and make her/him aware than just because you might not be at the school gate everyday that doesn't mean you aren't interested in discussing progress / attendiing assemblies etc.

Maybe if you gave her/him an email address they could send electronic copies of newsletters etc (my stepDs secondary school does this, maybe its not so common in primaries but worth a try)

good luck

maz123_2

the plan is now set.
OH will take my son to school (not to precious about me or OH taking him, it's just nice)
OH has adjusted work hours and is already looking forward to 1/2 hour extra in bed!
He can then go to after school club but i'll work 8.30 - 5 and on fridays can get him from school myself. Just like last year really but with OH taking him to school and not me. But will be getting full-time wage.
As for the 2nd job, i feel that it will be okay as it's a night shift and i don't sleep that much so it will be okay, but bring in the extra cash.
Next point on the plan is to get more organised in the house via old style and that i feel will help me get into a routine rather than flapping and give my little one some time nightly for school work? what do you nice people think? I do read with him every night, (my benefit more than his but i do enjoy narnia)
I have been into the school and offered to sort everything out for all the parents to get newsletters etc via email or even to up date their web site but no-one got back to me, i will ask again.

mrcow

maz123 wrote: »

As for the 2nd job, i feel that it will be okay as it's a night shift and i don't sleep that much so it will be okay, but bring in the extra cash.

I honestly think you are going to be exhausted (and stressed!). Perhaps you could make a promise to yourself to try the night shift out for three weeks and then after that have a sit down think about how things are doing and if you're coping okay (school will be back into the swing of things again by then).

Also, start with the new teacher as if you mean business. You don't need to wait for parents evening to go in and discuss how things are going (by then it can often be a bit late anyway). Get in to see her within the first couple of weeks to have a chat and make sure you book a follow up meeting with her after a month or so (and keep repeating if you think it's still needed).

georgiasmum

My daughter has been at private school since nursery. She has a long day and prep to do but thrives on the activity! Friday is an early day and we chill over the weekends, I make financial sacrifices but it is all worth it!

ixwood

Isn't it crazy to even think about expensive private education whilst in debt?

If you haven't been able to save the extra cost every month previously, where would the money come from?