House Issues - Still Struggling! Please help...

good_advice

Good morning Katie dee
You sound in a good posision having got on the housing ladder. A lot to be thankful there. So many people are in rented.

Try decorating to make the place more your own. Personalise the place with some tins of paint. Change the curtains - buy from CH or ebay.

One year in a new home is not long. When you both move and you will one day, you will be better experianced and know more of what you want on the tick list.

DomRavioli

Hi OP,

You don't sound silly or anything else - these are your feelings and they are valid.

Glad you liked the reply - I didn't want to come across as harsh, but your anxiety is the root of the problem. I've had exactly the same situation as yours (felt like I had written it myself), and 4 years on I live in the same house, and am happy; I saw my GP who diagnosed GAD (a form of anxiety) and I have and am still receiving ongoing treatment. It has literally changed my life - the house anxiety soon started to impact on other parts of my life, and it got quite bad. My expectations were barmy, I thought that if I had a nicer house or a bigger bank balance or did superficial things or owned things that it would go away - it doesn't! I've had the pleasure of living in a very nice house, but I swapped it for my little chocolate box when I realised that it isn't what you own, where you live, or what you wear, its about how you feel about all those things.

Please see your GP, and try the moodgym as above, it helps you work through things when you get overwhelmed. I can't tell you what is triggering the anxiety, but treatment can make it go away; anxiety follows you wherever you are when it is left untreated, but with the right treatment, you can be free.

Counting_Pennies_2

I think if you are in such a state of anxiety it would be a good idea to talk this through with a professional.


It might sound crazy me suggesting this, however, these things can fester and manifest themselves into much bigger issues and then you will definitely have problems. So I would like to suggest having counselling, CBT specifically.
Counselling will help you work out the difference between what you can change in your thinking to make you happier and what you have to live with.
Talking Therapies is a self referral NHS service. I would highly recommend you contacting them. Google the local talking therapies to you.
I completely understand where you OH is coming from. If you are strapped for cash as it is, moving house costs an absolute fortune.
I understand having your shed broken in to is upsetting, it is a violation of your space, but that can happen anywhere. I live in what is locally termed the best area to live in this city and one shed and three garages have been broken into in my street in the last year alone. However to put it into context I was burgled in the middle of the night while myself, husband and baby were sleeping. That was incredibly upsetting, however I have continued to stay in the house, it is a lovely house.
The point I am making is no matter what house you buy or the area you buy in, there are burglars/opportunists and postcode or house type will not prevent it. What will help and give you peace of mind is having an alarm fitted and ensure your doors and windows are secure, plus the access to your garden.
I feel for you, I have dealt with anxiety and depression. The key thing is to talk it through with a professional so you can get perspective and live a happy healthy life.
hth