grrrrr men!!!

csarinaknight

My God I wish I had £80 a month to spend on me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! have you tried doling it out £20 a week and when thats gone its gone???????

I would be inclinded to hide the bank cards somewhere he would not look, not keep them in my purse where they can be swiped..........I had a similar problem with my first husband money went through his pockets like rain through a sieve, faster sometimes..........I had to get his wages paid into my bank account and set up DD's for all our bills....it was not easy but I managed it thanks to a very understanding boss.............. I was the only one who knew the number to get cash out the hole in the wall, and used to give him his pocket money each week............when I eventually left he stopped paying the mortgage which lead to 5 years of me fighting the BS, they wanted me to pay the £18,000 which was outstanding in built up charges, it was a nightmare. I do sympathise with you..........but stick to your guns.............when you are debt free you will feel really good.......

(Land_of)_Maz

you're very welcome hun!

Glad you're feeling better today. onwards and upwards!!!!

snails's_pace

i'd let him buy his own lunch daily...out of his £80 per month...then he'll realise that you're right in telling him to make & take his own from home (wooo..that rhymes)

Uptomyeyesindebt

Dithering_Dad wrote: »

Nope. Your choice in men is rubbish.

Sorry DD and all other men I have inadvertantly offended!! Of course, no male members of this forum are included, as they are all money saving marvels! And of course Martin is the least rubbish of all, where would we be without him.:beer:

newleaf

The cheeky beggar! Nobody goes in my purse, 'cept me.

madmoney_2

lol thanks every1, good to know others think like me, he does get the 80 quid over 4 weeks, so 20 quid a week, he doesnt even spend it on clothes or anything, altho over the last week hes probably spent it on sneaky dinners from the burger van lol, i still havent caved in today!!! hes had 4 cans of carling today n thats it! Saying that hes just seen an advert for windsors and wants the trainers for 12.50, when i didnt respond he sed u can shop online u know! errrr....no!

evab_2

HI, my DH has been a struggle to get through to about being more MSE. He knows what goes out and what comes in but that hasn't stopped him spending, mainly on booze, and a good couple of days of not spending didn't help much when he then spends £100 in one weekend!

However his lb is getting brighter by the week, he has spending money each week as do I and our bank cards are left at home. He has now started surprising me with little things such as sticking to the list when we went shopping yesterday and not adding a bottle of wine/beers, he worked out yesterday how much we need to save each month to go on holiday to Cyprus next year instead of how much a month we could pay on a loan!

The best thing is that I'm starting to feel like he is really acknowledging that if you want something you have to save for it. Early days, but it's a start in a change in him.

Adrasteia01

It sounds like he needs to come to understand the situation, but talking about it frequently probably isn't the best way to go about it.

My OH really dislikes me bringing up stuff like that repeatedly. I find it's better to have one really in-depth conversation a week than what my husband calls 'nagging' (no offence intended).

I'd go easy on him (IMO I don't really see that big a problem with having lunch out if you're working). My husband would not take his own lunch, but as he earns most of the money I am not going to interfere with that. I'm inclined to do the same thing.

I'd say go easy on him, but make him understand that if he gets his way in that regard, he needs to cut back or make up for it in other ways. For instance, if he gets lunch out, he buys less alcohol or clothing or whatever.

Does he not have the money to cover it usually, or was it just on that occasion?

Tamara

madmoney_2

its kind of complicated, he earns a full time wage n i earn part time, we use my weekly pay to live off n his monthly pay for the bills, debts etc, he gets 20 quid a week out of my wages, plus tobacco everyday(2.60), and 3 quid a day for his dinner. i understand your point about oh working full time so hes entitled to lunch out, but i worked it out n his dinners alone are 60 quid a month! The way i see it is if i work n dont take any money, plus me n ds have dinner evryday at home, why should he be any different??? its even harder for me becoz im a chef in a busy restaurant, n i could just make myself something then pay for it at the end of the week - but i dont. I just dont see why i should have to tighten my belt whereas he gets off scott free, i dont think its fair, right or equal in a r'ship to let him do that, he gets 20 quid a week aswell dont forget!!! i think once we have cleared the overdraft i will be fine with him taking money to work, but u knever know by then he might have had a lightbulb moment!! thanx for all ur replies xxx

firesidemaid

does your OH get £2.60 every day for tobacco ie. a new pack each day or does he buy the bigger packs to save money?

if he is getting the money for tobacco each day, then that is another £18.00 a week on top of his £20 - so don't feel bad about him having to make his own lunches. his tobacco alone is getting on for £1000 a year.

my OH smokes tobacco - it comes out of his generous £70 a week. and, would you believe - yes! - he gets the money fortnightly and it is normally gone in 2 days! i have to make him buy the tobacco up front so he doesn't ask to borrow money. he has changed to a cheaper one though to save himself money:rolleyes: