When does it seem to get easier with a baby

duchy

Looking at past posts it appears the OP is working full-time and their partner is the one currently on maternity leave.

I'm wondering if the OP's partner is as concerned as the OP or is taking a more realistic view and this is more the OP wondering when he will get his partner "back" ?

(I don't understand the clingy baby comment either !)

Marmaduke123

amistupid wrote: »

Wait until they're 16 years old! :eek:

Or 26 or 36 or 46! It's a lifelong commitment!

POPPYOSCAR

I agree with many other posters.


Having a baby is hard work and a huge commitment.


No one can say when a baby will settle into a routine, some do others do not.


Go with the flow, do not worry about the house and grab sleep when you can. If you have family and friends that can take over for a while and give you a break/sleep time and you and your wife are happy with this then take advantage when you can.


And as someone else has said just wait until the teenage years and the sleepless nights that accompany them!.


Enjoy your precious time with your little one, they grow up so quick.

VfM4meplse

Agree with comments about the inappropriate labelling of baby as "clingy" and wlt add that far worse is to come! Just wait until your LO is teething, OP!

chewmylegoff

dexterwolf wrote: »

how many weeks or months was it until your baby settled. We have a 7 week old baby and wondered when or if you mange to get into a routine?. Firstly for sleeping so we get more sleep and also my partner been able to do a little around the house as the LO is clingy and cries if you leave her.

Is it me, or did you just ask "when will my partner be able to put down our 7 week old child so she can get on with the hoovering?"

PeacefulWaters

chewmylegoff wrote: »

Is it me, or did you just ask "when will my partner be able to put down our 7 week old child so she can get on with the hoovering?"

I think you got it.

annannanna

I have a 13 month old and I remember wondering this at the beginning. My daughter would not let me put her down at all from the day we came home from the hospital, she screamed every time I moved away from her.
I remember at around 3 to 4 months things started getting a little easier, she started using her hands and being interested in things such as the rattles on her play mat so she could be distracted.
I think its around this time I got into a routine too. Once the routine falls into place it does become easier.

Birdie85

Your baby is 7 weeks old, your partner is recovering from 9 months of pregnancy and childbirth. Give them both a break!

There was a lot of advice in your previous threads where you complained about your DD being unsettled, did you follow it? Have you tried switching milk etc?

Some babies fall into a routine quickly and easily, others take longer. There is no 'norm'. If baby is having a cuddly day, let Mummy cuddle baby all day and don't complain that she hasn't done any housework. If your partner actually wants to do something around the house (I'm more thinking like cooking herself a meal rather than running around after you BTW) then a sling may be a good idea as it keeps baby close and comfy but leaves your hands free. I really hope that you understand too that maternity leave is not a holiday, it's time for recovering and bonding. It's hard work! It's nice when baby is a little older and you can actually get out and do things with them, but that's the reward for the tough months at the start, then you have to go back to work as they get interesting!

If your partner is struggling as much as you seem to be, please make sure she gets out to some Mum and Baby groups as talking to other women in the same boat is a lifesaver.

Something that my DH and I did when our DS was waking throughout the night was split the night into shifts, so he did the first half up until 3am then I did from 3 onwards. The other did not get up unless really needed whilst we were on a sleep shift to ensure that both of us got a 'decent' 5ish hour sleep at least every night. Earplugs are useful for this.

sweetilemon

Have you got a sling? If not it might be worth investing? It means you and your baby can have close contact but fee's your hands up to get the odd thing done.

olgadapolga

You need to look at this from the baby's point of view. Up until the point of birth, your baby had been in a nice, warm, snug, comfortable and safe place. Imagine how you'd feel if you were pulled out of your safe place and put somewhere completely alien? You'd be unsettled and clingy as well.

I also think that your expectations are completely unrealistic. A baby is hard, hard, hard work. They depend totally on their parents for EVERYTHING. Your life will never be the same again. You need to accept that and I think that you are struggling to come to terms with this.

When I had my first baby, I struggled horribly. Up until that point I'd had a career, holidays at a moment's notice and then suddenly, I had a baby that was dependent on me 24/7. I'd lost my former "life" and my own identity as I then became known as "mum" (although I soon put a stop to that, I was still me as well). It takes time to adjust but it does get better, once you accept that the baby is first and foremost and everything else (including the housework) has to be neglected. It's hard but that's the way it is. With my second and subsequent babies, it was much easier as my expectations were very different and I was prepared for it.

Your baby is only seven weeks old. That's very young to be even asking about s/he being settled and saying that they are "clingy". A bit unfair really.

I agree with other people, get a sling. Both you and your partner can use it to carry the baby. I have yet to see an unhappy baby in a sling - constant movement (like in the womb), warmth (like in the womb) and a snug, safe place (like in the womb). You can both carry the baby in the sling whilst doing any essential housework. And you need to share the housework, regardless of whether or not you have returned to work. Unrealistic expectations of your partner's abilities to do everything and care for a baby full-time as well aren't going to help anyone. You really need to "roll with it", to quote my teenager.

Your baby needs love, attention and lots of cuddles. Your partner is recovering from the birth. Give them time, love, attention and cuddles. The more love and attention you give your baby now, the more confident and happier s/he will be throughout life. You should have a look at some books on attachment parenting as you may then begin to understand things from a baby's point of view, such as "What Every Parent Needs to Know: The incredible effects of love, nurture and play on your child's development" by Margot Sunderland and "Why Love Matters: How affection shapes a baby's brain" by Sue Gerhardt. There are others as well.

In the meantime, chill out, relax and "roll with it". Your baby needs you and the house won't die from a bit of neglect. The housework will still be there for when you do find time to do it