What can my mum do?

will369

she's not asked me to post on here

freeisgood

Your best option is to...accept the money, buy a two bedroom flat or a small house with the money. Even if you have to move slightly further out. And start afresh.

Mojisola

will369 wrote: »

I just want to be able to go back to my mum and say "Your best option is to __________________"

... take legal advice.

We don't have enough information about their situation to give a definite answer - and you shouldn't really be telling your Mum that one way is the only way. There's a range of options and it's up to her to chose which one suits her best.

whitewing

will369 wrote: »

I just want to be able to go back to my mum and say "Your best option is to __________________"

I doubt there is a best option. There may be a range of good options but the best option is the one that she decides. Only she will have her range of life experiences etc that will enable her to feel comfortable with the choice.

You are a kind person.

I often spent a lot of time researching options for my family over various things. It is enormously frustrating to find some really good solutions which they don't do. Now I will glady spend 70% of the time I used to flushing out some ideas, but I don't do the other 30% of the detail as that is timeconsuming to then have the idea turned down without being thought about.

My family also has a stage in the process where they seem to have to convince themselves that it was their own idea anyway before they do something. This can take months!

Help, but only help so far. She has her life to lead and you have yours. They can overlap considerably but you are both too young with too much ahead to limit your options.

Pixie5740

Your mum's best option (if they are married) is to discuss things with a solicitor before making any major decisions. Find out what her option are before accepting the money from your dad.

If they are not married then the £140k is probably the best offer she is going to get.

will369

Thanks guys,

They are married

Guest101

Even if married, the solicitor will basically tell you the same thing:

Children (not applicable - as both 18 (or shortly will be)
Earning potential - dont know your mums age, but the potential to earn equal to your father ie 35k is there, that slary is mid level these days.
Need for housing - well she's getting half the property
Pension - she could go for, but the legal fees may eat up whatever she's likely to get. Does she have her own pension?
Other savings - well straight forward, split 50/50

The best option is to sit down and negotiate. Neither parent can afford a lengthy legal battle and will likely walk away with less than the £140k offered.

RAS

Op

You mum must get legal advice.

Read the thread I referred to https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4556575 and then write out a list of questions. Get a free half hour with a lawyer.

And check wikidivorce. She may get a bit more than 50% but she needs to start getting her head round the fact that she is responsible for her life now, not dada and not you.

[Deleted User]

If your mum could see this thread (and hopefully your dad) they would be proud of you.

In spite of what others have said, I can clearly see that you are just worried about your mum's situation. Obviously people post on here having their own bias.

Your mum can go to a solicitor.., she might get more in a settlement, but it will be a lot of aggro.., only she can know if that is worth it.

She could buy a place that needs some work, make it her own, and build a new life for herself. But a lot of that is down to whether she can look at it that way. Not everyone can. She does have work experience now, so could look at full time work if her daughter is going to uni in less than 2 years. She doesn't have toddlers who need her to be at home more. But again, that might be something she isn't able to do just yet and its difficult for you to suggest that to her if she's a bit resistant.

As has already been said, you CAN suggest things, but be prepared to take a step back if she (for reasons of her own) can't act upon them. Sometimes it can take a long time to see things as others see them.

I hope things go well for you.

StumpyPumpy

You should tell your mum to get legal advice and not to rely on the random opinions of strangers on the internet.

And you should make sure to tell your father the same. There can be implications of "borrowing" large sums of money from elderly relatives. What would happen if they fell ill and needed specialist care? This could become a potential nightmare for him and them. Also the assets including your family home need to be properly valued and assessed (not just a finger in the wind) and legally reallocated before any plans are made for the future.

You don't mention anything about them planning to divorce. If they don't and your mother inherits your grandmother's house whilst they remain married I believe this will also count aa a joint asset and your father will be entitled to half in any settlement.


SP