Gap in proceedings on Wedding Day

edited 28 July 2015 at 11:16PM in Weddings & Anniversaries
36 replies 5.1K views


  • Topcat1982Topcat1982 Forumite
    391 Posts
    Evening only's not really an option when it's a destination wedding.

    No-one would travel that far and pay for two nights hotel for just evening only, IMHO.
  • GloomendoomGloomendoom Forumite
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    We have been invited to a couple of weddings with a large gap between the ceremony and the evening do. We chose to attend the ceremony but decline the invitation to the evening do.
  • shellstarshellstar Forumite
    103 Posts
    A friend of mine had a lovely 'reception' in the church part of her wedding, so that went on a bit longer and it was very fun. Lot's of music, cake, mulled wine (October wedding). Then just family and those that had played a role in the day went for a dinner elsewhere. I only went to the ceremony but it was very lovely and very them. She was marrying a Vicar though.

    I think that it is becoming more common to invite all folks to the ceremony and then have some come back later for the evening. An old friend from school did that and I think we hung around for about 6 hours in-between. Planned sensitively it can really work. Firstly, the church was optional, so I and other friends were choosing to give ourselves that time to hang around. What we then did was have a lovely afternoon and dinner together, all catching up, before we headed back to the evening (sadly, she had a RUBBISH DJ so I think we would have had a better time where we were, but we wanted to support her on her day).

    I'd say a few things to consider:
    - local people will find it easier to hang about, as they can just go home in between.
    - be prepared that those coming from afar may just decide to miss the whole thing.
    - Try and make sure people who need to find other stuff have an idea of where to go and who they might spend time with.

    I think in some ways it's nice that those who would ordinarily just be an evening guest get a chance to see the marriage ceremony without the wedding budget being blown. Make it clear in the invite and provide some info on good places for dinner etc.
  • thriftylassthriftylass Forumite
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    I have heard of similar arrangements before especially if a church ceremony was involved and don't find it that unusual. But it was rather phrased as an evening invite with the option to attend the morning ceremony if they would like to/are able to. As you said you pay the cheques but it is your daughter's special day. If a spending limit is set it should be up to the bride and groom to do the planning, otherwise I'd rather find the money myself, to be honest.
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  • quidsyquidsy Forumite
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    I wouldn't attend the church if this set up was given to me on an invite.

    They should just invite those who will be invited to the lunch to attend the church then invite everyone else for the evening only.

    this is the proper & polite thing to do, not expect people to hang around for hours whilst favored guests get a lunch.
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  • Could you not say to your daughter that if the marriage ceremony is in the afternoon, most people could travel the same day, rather than having to fork out for two nights accommodation?

    I agree with the poster who said those not invited to the sit down meal should just be invited for the evening, with an add-on on the invite that they are welcome to attend the ceremony too if they wish - it just looks rude to expect people to attend the ceremony and then sod off and wait while the favoured few are fed and watered, IMHO.
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