DMP & Mutual Support Thread - Part 11

2spicy

Ariel82 wrote: »

Can I be nosey and ask...
What is everyone on a Dmp left with after all the bills are paid each week?
I'm left with £60 for groceries, clothing, leisure, pretty much everything, is this a reasonable amount per week?

on a monthly basis, once all the bills have been paid, the mortgage is paid and the DMP payment has been deducted, were left with about £500 for the month.

That covers food for a family of 4, school dinners, haircuts, petfood, swimming.
Food for the family is aprox £50 - £75 a week

But .. we've engineered our DMP to not put is in a situation where have to live like church mice, the children can go on school trips or swimming, so our financial situation is transparent to anyone external

luhrmann

Sazzie23 wrote: »

Hi I'd start with contacting each creditor to say he's in financial difficulty which should give him 30 days to sort out what to do.

Something like, " re account no xxxxx., I am in financial difficulty and taking specialist financial advice from SC. here is a token payment of £1, we will contact you shortly when arrangements have been made to deal with the debts." There is a post above from Janury2015 quoting some text from the lending code which would also b ehelpful to quote.

That then gives you time to decide if DRO - DMP or something else is suitable. The level of debt isn't massive compared to some on here, buts it's more about abilitity or repay. A smaller debt with a lower income is just a such a problem as a large debt with a higher income.

Think about what sort of debt repayments will be possible, and how long SC suggested the debt free date (DFD) is. If you go down the DMP route and then can suddenly come up with a decent income, you can come off the DMP, but of course the credit rating is screwed. However what people don't realise is that even taking a PDL crashes your credit rating. I wondered why SC didn't recommend a DRO, is there some criteria that OH doesn't meet?

The biggest issue I'd suggest you might be facing is getting OH to accept there is a problem, it is a very confronting time and lots of people bury their heads for a longtime before having their LBM.

Perhaps try reading through earlier posts in this thread together see if there is anything that would help OH understand their is a way out, but there are no easy options, however most people on DMP wish they'd done it sooner rather than later. You are both kind and sensible to try to help OH fix this but OH needs to be on board too.

i completely agree in that the biggest issue is getting OH to accept his problem. even today he has been talking about going to see the stone roses and i inwardly sighed and prayed he wouldn't go looking for another payday loan to do this... and he still expects me to be able to help financially. it's really putting a strain on our relationship as i feel like he is not truly owning up to the issue despite telling me about it. and i resent his seeming assumption that i am going to give him money. another long talk is in our future i think! i'm trying very hard to be kind and supportive but i think he needs some tough love as it's not fair on me and i don't want my own financial situation suffering because of his stupidity, however cruel that might sound.

i have spoken with his sister, who is also greatly concerned about him before i even mentioned it, and we're in agreement that things need to change rapidly. we have discussed the DMP and DRO options briefly and i am going to do some more research into this. i think that either would be the best way forward, as his credit rating is through the toilet anyway so what more harm could it do to have the support of SC on his side?

thanks for your comments, i've been reading through the rest of the thread and you are all so supportive and kind and also honest about the debt issue. i will hopefully be able to come back here for some more advice if needed!

Growurown

luhrmann wrote: »

i completely agree in that the biggest issue is getting OH to accept his problem. even today he has been talking about going to see the stone roses and i inwardly sighed and prayed he wouldn't go looking for another payday loan to do this... and he still expects me to be able to help financially. it's really putting a strain on our relationship as i feel like he is not truly owning up to the issue despite telling me about it. and i resent his seeming assumption that i am going to give him money. another long talk is in our future i think! i'm trying very hard to be kind and supportive but i think he needs some tough love as it's not fair on me and i don't want my own financial situation suffering because of his stupidity, however cruel that might sound.

i have spoken with his sister, who is also greatly concerned about him before i even mentioned it, and we're in agreement that things need to change rapidly. we have discussed the DMP and DRO options briefly and i am going to do some more research into this. i think that either would be the best way forward, as his credit rating is through the toilet anyway so what more harm could it do to have the support of SC on his side?

thanks for your comments, i've been reading through the rest of the thread and you are all so supportive and kind and also honest about the debt issue. i will hopefully be able to come back here for some more advice if needed!

Hi, I've had problems with my OH too, which is why we ended up on a DMP. It wasn't all his fault to be sure but he does like spending money. You can be kind and supportive but he needs his light bulb moment too, and they are his debts so you shouldn't have to cough up. Plus if you give in now he won't change his spending habits, he will just expect you to bail him out again in the future. I think you need to be very clear about what you are prepared to do and not do to help his financial situation. It's a rubbish feeling not having money to spend on those treats, but that's the hard fact of life - no stone roses this time around for him I reckon.

Ariel82

I've been reading posts and I'm a little confused, is it better to stop paying and let the unsecured debts default and go to a collection agency rather than go straight into a Dmp with the original lenders? Assuming those original lenders don't freeze interest and charges?

threellamas

Not a regular poster on her, although read regularly. Just want to let off a little meh feelings.
I've had a very expensive month, and had to reduce the amount I am paying on my dmp. All my fault though. Bought a short break to the Canaries for Jan, a short trip to Germany in feb and a holiday to India in March. OVERBOARD!! Im turning 30 next year, and finally finishing a qualification I've been wanting to do for 8 years, the canaries is the relaxing after that. Germany is with the girls to celebrate being 30, and India is with my mum for her 60th and my 30th and something she has been talking about doing my entire adult life.The 2 Europe breaks are very cheap, but India has really blown the budget!! I don't feel guilty though about spending the money as I knew it had been coming for a few years and have sort of been working out how to pay for it for a long time. I think I should feel more guilty as not going would have knocked 4 months off my dmp. I just feel meh. As a family we are not doing ANY presents this year, and only a small christmas meal, so thats saved alot. But its going to be a really tight few months. MEH!

KID77

Hi Ariel
If you are just starting out on your dmp, many suggest a few months of £1 token payments to build an emergency fund.
I know some go self managed to lower the payments if creditors won't freeze interest or default. The risk i suppose is the chance of the creditor going for a ccj but i dont know a lot about that.
From all the reading i have done on this forum, i believe if your monthly payment is less than 3% of the balance then interest likely to be frozen and a default but not guaranteed.
Have you started or about to start a dmp?
Kid x

[Deleted User]

This may seem a dumb question, sorry if the answer is obvious and I've failed to see it:o

Suppose the time comes when well into a DMP that the monthly payment to various creditors is more than what the minimum payment would normally be with that outstanding balance when not on a DMP. Will they start charging interest again as it looks as if the debtor can easily afford the payment? In other words, does interest, once frozen,remain frozen for the length of the DMP?

Sorry, not explaining it very well but I know what I mean:o

cat1978

Hi everybody, long time lurker here.......

So my question is, how should we go about making settlement offers? My oh has finally sold his house and hopefully we should receive the money from the solicitors in about 10 weeks (dependent on oh ex signing all required paper work).
Can we start to get figures now so we are prepared? And do we do it via phone or letter?

Thanks

Puzzcat

threellamas wrote: »

Not a regular poster on her, although read regularly. Just want to let off a little meh feelings.
I've had a very expensive month, and had to reduce the amount I am paying on my dmp. All my fault though. Bought a short break to the Canaries for Jan, a short trip to Germany in feb and a holiday to India in March. OVERBOARD!! Im turning 30 next year, and finally finishing a qualification I've been wanting to do for 8 years, the canaries is the relaxing after that. Germany is with the girls to celebrate being 30, and India is with my mum for her 60th and my 30th and something she has been talking about doing my entire adult life.The 2 Europe breaks are very cheap, but India has really blown the budget!! I don't feel guilty though about spending the money as I knew it had been coming for a few years and have sort of been working out how to pay for it for a long time. I think I should feel more guilty as not going would have knocked 4 months off my dmp. I just feel meh. As a family we are not doing ANY presents this year, and only a small christmas meal, so thats saved alot. But its going to be a really tight few months. MEH!

Hi,

I think adding 4 months to your dmp journey to make all those lovely memories is so worth it.

Puzz. x

Ariel82

Hi Kid,
I made the minimum payments last month and applied to stepchange, my first Dmp payment is Dec 1st but I guess stepchange hold onto it for a few days to get their interest. So I'm only now starting to receive the "please pay us" texts calls and letters, I'm now thinking I should have left it a bit longer but unless I go it alone then it's too late about that now.
I did send the £1 token payments to all a few weeks back. Maybe I'm just panicking?!