Charging wedding guests, yes or no?

cashewnut

I'd have a look at village or town halls instead if you want to do own catering.


How would the guests be paying you to stay at this country house - would you be sending out your bank details in the invitations? Awkward!

gettingtheresometime

I'd be strangely busy that day if you tried to get me to pay for your wedding.

If (and its a big if) and I came then I wouldn't be as generous with a wedding present

Anatidaephobia

andyandnico wrote: »

I've hit on the idea of hiring a country house where all my guests can stay, for say £2000, and then offering the rooms out at, for example, £100 each. That way, we make back some of the venue cost, and they don't have to worry about finding B&Bs nearby, taxis, etc.

For me, the biggest problem with this idea is the fact that you seem to be looking to make a profit out of the money they would pay, rather than them just paying enough to cover their own accommodation costs.

If I've read your post correctly... if 40 guests came and paid £100 each, then a) the guests have paid for the house for you and b) they've also given you an additional £2000 and what's happening to that extra money?

I assume your intention is to fund the total cost of the wedding from this money but that isn't really the way it's supposed to work; it feels a bit like selling tickets to the wedding or forcing your family and friends to fund the whole thing for you. Some people won't come because of the costs involved; others will feel like they have no choice but to pay up even if they don't want to.

The whole thing seems a bit awkward and inappropriate to me; I think you should either offer optional accommodation where the guests are only paying for their own beds and not your whole wedding or look at other venue options.

duchy

Turn it around
If your best friend was trying to get you to pay for their wedding with a scheme like this - would you still think it was a good idea and do they have enough gullible friends and relatives who would be happy to attend and pay or would they get lots of declines ?

LABMAN

I'd anticipate having a smaller wedding guest number wise if I were you.

Birdie85

I think it's a bit of a shocking idea TBH, especially as you plan on making profit from the scheme to cover the rest of your wedding costs! I wouldn't mind being invited to stay and paying £40-50 a head to cover the cost of my room but £100 a head is too much and if I got wind of how much it actually cost to hire I'd be livid that I was simply there to pay for your wedding!

Have the wedding you can afford.

rach_k

I'm assuming £100 a room is based on two sharing, so for 40 guests you wouldn't actually be making a profit. Still, I don't think it's a good idea. Asking guests for any money just seems wrong, even if it might actually save some of them money.

I would either reduce the number of guests so you can afford to pay for a smaller house without asking for contributions or change your plans slightly. We had a very nice afternoon reception in a local restaurant, which was much cheaper than a 'proper' wedding venue. If you desperately want the whole country house thing, just wait until you have enough saved!

andyandnico

Thanks for your replies.

I thought I'd better clarify the profit thing. I'm definitely not intending to make a profit on my wedding, and no, it isn't possible. I was proposing to offer the rooms at £100 each, so for couples that is £50 per person (I think there's only one single person on the guest list). The largest venue I'm considering has 10 rooms (one for us), so we could recoup up to £900.

I realise that I worded my original post badly. I don't expect that every guest would stay, there are a few who live in driving distance and would probably go home.

The original idea came about because of the number of times I've been frantically calling B&Bs near a country wedding venue trying to get one of the last rooms. I'd have been overjoyed to have my accommodation and meals organised for £50.

Now I'm not sure whether there's been such an overwhelmingly negative reaction because of giving the impression I was making a profit, or because of giving the impression is was £100 each, or because it's a truly awful idea. So if anyone has any feedback with these in mind, it would be great:
1. £50 a head.
2. It doesn't even cover half the sot of the venue.
3. These are *close* friends and family, who, you know, like us.

I have been looking at other options, but of course with such a small group village halls, etc, are too big.

Many thanks!

Robin9

arbrighton wrote: »

It's cheeky, they will be your guests, you want them there so cut your cloth accordingly. You could spend 2k on a really lovely dinner in a restaurant, and the bare minimum on the registry office bit. Our actual marriage was £70 to give notice, £120 for room hire in an approved venue (to seat 70) and £350 for the registrar. Would have been cheaper in the registry office but it's just not a nice place

Arbrighton has the right idea - a restaurant with a private room. Personalise it with Aunty Flo providing the cake instead of a present.

A couple of do's I've been to recently have requested our presence but not our presents, inviting us to donate to a good cause. A Golden Wedding do (for 70) last weekend in our village hall would have cost the couple under a £1000 - hire, caterers with a buffet - and has raised £1300 in memory of a child.

But the most important part of your day is the wedding - the vows, you take, exchange of rings, the commitment. You have lots of parties but (hopefully) only one wedding.

andyandnico

Hello again.

I bit the bullet and told my father I'd like to get married. I'm slightly less worried about money now than I was! So please ignore my request above for further advice.

Thank you all your help.