45 years old and 47.5 BMI. I need help

Amysdad70

I wasn't always fat.

I used to have an active job and play American Football. I got married and then just kept getting bigger.

I am now 45, 5ft 9ins and 23 stone. I have high blood pressure and sleep apneoa. My relationship with food is awful and i honestly hate myself.

My knees cause me intermittent pain and of course my back is not healthy either. To be completely honest, I would love to lose weight but seem to be a slave to refined sugar. I used to smoke over 10 years ago and I am adamant that giving up chocolate is way harder than giving up smoking. Especially when I have had a drink...

When drinking, I just want to eat. Chocolate, crisps, cheese etc. I have heard of salad but I am not a fan.

I am booked in for a full health assessment at a Nuffield hospital on Monday and I am dreading it. My boss has paid for it because I have a stressful job, which I am very good at, and I swear he thinks that I might die soon. Especially as stress also makes me want chocolate.

I daydream about going to a gym but would too self conscious to do it. I used to enjoy swimming but would never get undressed in public now.

Does anyone else understand my ramblings? Have you been here and got out of it? Have you been to a gym as a fat person?

cakeforbrains

Read 'Health at Every Size' by Dr Linda Bacon.

BMI is !!!!!!!!. Fat isn't a measurement of health. Health outcomes are much more linked to activity levels and diet content than weight.

Do NOT go on a diet. Statistically, around 95% of people who lose weight through dieting will regain that weight; many will gain more. Concentrate on intuitive eating and finding joyful movement.

Good luck.

fairy_lights

There's no need to feel self conscious about going to the gym, people of all shapes and sizes go and chances are you won't be the largest person there - besides, most people are too busy worrying about their own bodies to pay any notice of everyone else.
If you want to start exercising but really don't feel up to going to the gym yet you could exercise at home, there are lots of good free workouts on youtube but if you're very inactive at the moment then even going for a half hour walk every evening will make a difference. Exercise may also help with the stress and make you less likely to stress eat.


You don't need to give up chocolate completely, just cut down. What's the rest of your diet like?
If it's drinking that makes you binge, then the obvious solution is to give up drinking - a pint of beer has around 250 calories in it so you're racking them up before you even start snacking.

Owlcat

Well done for posting. You clearly care enough to want to start a chance.
I want to tell you that the gym is nothing like what you're imagining. Just this morning I took a little memory photo of the demographic in there. It almost entirely older (50+ years) men and women, almost all carrying a little (or a lot) too much weight. Many of them looked a bit puzzled and awkward. Maybe there were a lot of new members?
What I'm trying to tell you is that no one cares about other people in there. Everyone is doing their own thing!! I promise you! (If you want my honest opinion on who gets !!!!!ed about it's the gorgeous girls who insight envy!) At the risk of sounding mean, NO ONE CARES! If anyone even registers you're in there they'll be all like, "Go, Buddy!!"
You should totally go!

tomtontom

I agree that BMI is not always a useful indicator, but there's no doubting 23 stone is massively overweight. Make some simple changes and see the difference they can make - cut out the alcohol, look at portion size, start walking each day. The weight will start to come off in no time.

Ms_Chocaholic

You state you want to go to the gym, instead, could you find a Personal Trainer and have a couple of sessions a week at home.

markfj

my best advice would be to join a gym, I understanf your concerns, but join a gym if affordable get a PT.

Nutrition is key here too, google some diet plans for losing weights, mostly they will all the same sort of things:

Eat:
Veg (dark green veg mostly)
Fruits in moderation
Healthy Fats, salmon, avacado, nuts, extra virgin olive oils
Protein - high protein is essential for feeling fuller for longer and muscle building/losing fat - chicken, turkey, fish, yoghurt, cottage cheese,whey protein etc
Complex carbs - wholemeal pasta/bread, oats, oatcakes, basmatti rice

its not as complex as it reads, give up the processed foods or save for one meal a week, and commit to a decent diet based on some foods above. Joining a gym and gaining a PT will ease the mindset when you start seeing results

good luck

armyknife

Take up walking and gradually increase the briskness and distance of the walks; it's free and if done often enough, say 3 or more times a week, will form a good foundation for later, more strenuous fitness activities.

Spirit_2

Does your stressful job that you are good at mean you work long hours and that you have a sedentary lifestyle and eat what you eat because you don't have time to make better food choices?

To answer your question in your opening post I have been there and got out of it . But I have not taken the scenic route. I had a heart bypass at 42, type 2 diabetes at 47, a severe stroke at 54
and a heart attack two weeks ago at 55. I am being medically retired from the job I loved and was good at but can no longer do.

If I could turn the clock back to make the changes needed I would not hesitate.

Amysdad70

Thank you for all of your replies and private messages.

I do indeed have a job that involves a lot of driving and sitting at a PC or on the phone. I think that this is where my problems started because I used to work in the construction industry and then moved to sitting in an office.

The drinking is to relieve the stress, this then leads to the poor diet choices as this again makes me feel better. Lunches are often in train stations, airports or service stations. But enough self pity, here's the plan.

Tonight, I am going for a walk. This weekend, I am visiting family in Lincolnshire so will go for another walk. On Monday, i have this full health MOT at Nuffield so I am really hoping that it is not too late to turn this around. I spoke to my wife last night and we are both going to bite the bullet and join a gym with a pool. If i can get past the initial embarrassment, I think that swimming would help massively and I used to enjoy it.

The biggest challenge is going to be diet and alcohol. I drink wine and whisky usually but I am not going to drink this weekend.

I shall keep you all posted.

Thank You

littleredhen

I bought an exercise bike and downloaded life sum app, I have lost 6 lbs in 6 weeks. I started off "cycling" 5k, it was very hard to begin with. Then I upped it to 6k. The app stops me from over eating, it was hard first week but I was determined. Now I cycle 12k everyday, I don't diet, just eat less, smaller portions, smaller plates. I wish you luck, can you do this with someone else? I weigh in at work every Friday with a colleague, it's very motivating.