Advice

Rambosmum

Gigglepig wrote: »

This part stood out as a bit of a red flag to me. I hope your partner is supportive and prepared to step it up ... and that they do not expect you to contribute half the household costs when on maternity leave, that would be really harsh.

Also the stress of having a baby can be quite a lot on top of strained finances. Can your OH get a better paid job or can you cut costs so you won't be under such financial pressure?

In order to enjoy your maternity leave I think it is important to have a (modest) budget for some activities such as baby toddler groups (around here they start on £1), classes or cafe trips to socialise with other local mums so you are not isolated or lonely for lack of choice.

I don't see why this stands out as an issue for you but I guess you don't know how we work.

We've taken turns earning more than each other, just the way our jobs have gone. Then 3 years ago I went part time to go to uni and do my masters. I then qualified and this last year he has gone part time and is at uni doing his masters.

Despite each of us being willing and able to pay the other ones bills during this time each of us likes to contribute fairly and so we both were in education full time and employment part time to pay our own half of the bills. We both passed with distinctions.

Now, he could go back to full time at his current job where he earns a good wage, however that would make this last year almost pointless and negate the reason for doing it (he works 12 hours days as a teacher and at weekends and we didn't think this was conducive to a positive home life and so he's changing careers). This change in career will take him a drop in salary in September of about £10k- a lot, and more than we'd like, but we are never going to really be able to afford it so now is as good a time as any. This means that he will be able to pay his half of the bills plus some contribution to things for the baby but not much else.

2ndly I don't like others doing things for me. I never have. I pay my own way. Always. Or I don't do what ever it is that needs paying for. I'm very independent and hate relying on others, even my husband. Granted I got pregnant slightly earlier than I would have liked and so finances are tighter than I'd hoped but similarly we have savings, both joint and individual, which can cover a rainy day and buy all the things needed for the baby if it comes.

Hopefully OH will not have to take the 10k pay drop, that's the likely scenario but he may manage to score beyond a graduate level job. In which case the extra will be put to savings/ a bit of extra spends per month.

If he gets a better paid job he'll offer to foot my bills. But I won't let him. Not in a million years! :rotfl:

So to answer your questions, yes, he is very supportive and willing to 'step up' I just don't want or need him to and he doesn't expect me to pay my half of the bills, I do.

Rambosmum

*niptuckfan* wrote: »

i see what your saying gigglepig but i am planning the exact same as rambosmum to save to cover my "half" of the bills, its not that my oh isnt supportive i just want to do as much as i can while i am still in full time employment - when i reuturn to work part time and with childcare cost my oh will have to contribute a lot more as i just wont be able to.

We haven't discussed me going back to work yet - I don't want to think about it. Losing financial independence scares the sh*t out of me but I don't want my LO in full time child care. Maybe OH will go part time!

barbiedoll

jwil wrote: »

Car boot sales are brilliant for baby equipment/clothes, it's really cheap and often hardly been used.


Finally, sign up to as many baby clubs as you can find, I got loads of nappy money off coupons last time.

Car boot sales are indeed a very good way of getting a bargain, we got our baby bath (still wrapped up) a high chair and a fireguard for just a few quid.

Baby clubs are very good for money-off vouchers but do set up a dedicated email address for them, you will be innundated with spam otherwise (they do sell your details on)

And never, never put your real phone number on any baby club forms, either online or paper. Again, your details will be passed on and you'll get calls about what a terrible parent you are if you don't immediately take out an expensive life assurance policy, etc etc etc.

chocdonuty

Slings are great and if I ever have another I'll certainly try one out but if you don't have a car then a buggy of some sort is a must. It's amazing how much you can cram underneath when doing a big shop .
As long as it lays flat and is sturdy then thats all that matters

Gigglepig

Niptuckfan and rambosmum, I think it is great that you want to be financially independent, I'm like that too. All good as long as it is our choice and that partners not put pressure on contributing half while earning very little on maternity leave. There are some horror stories on here from time to time about stay at home mums who practically have to beg their husbands for money because the partner who works away from the house considers it "their" money.

Rambosmum

Gigglepig wrote: »

Niptuckfan and rambosmum, I think it is great that you want to be financially independent, I'm like that too. All good as long as it is our choice and that partners not put pressure on contributing half while earning very little on maternity leave. There are some horror stories on here from time to time about stay at home mums who practically have to beg their husbands for money because the partner who works away from the house considers it "their" money.

Yes, I've seen those too and find them very worrying. It's a partnership, or it should be.

Glo123

Hi
I have a 3 week old baby and I did some stockpiling before her arrival and I'm glad I did. I didn't over do it just enough for the first few weeks when your life changes
I bought nappies, wet wipes, cotton wool and nappy bags. You will use loads of these. You'll get some free nappy samples but not nearly enough as you will need.
I bought throughout my pregnancy so always bought items on offer or in the sale and got some good bargains.
My steriliser and bottles were half price although I'm breast feeding at the moment so don't know about formula. But I won't have to buy these items when the money starts to dramatically reduce in a few months time when I switch to formula feeding.

I also stocked up on items for myself, maternity pads, breast pads, deodorants, shower gels, etc. I'm sure I'll be able to afford these items but I like knowing I have supply ready. And I have found it useful just having a box of items for me and not having to nip out to pick these types of items up.

People will buy you lovely gifts including clothes but not really the essentials like vests, baby grows and scratch mitts. I bought most of mine in Asda as found the prices very reasonable and always had these items in,the sale.

If people ask you what your would like for a gift its worth having a list of items. I asked my brother to buy a bouncing chair which was on offer from£70 to £35. He was pleased he could get something that was going to be useful to us.
I also saved by accepting second hand items. So we were given a Moses basket and 2 stands which saved us quite a bit. I only had to get a new mattress which was about £13 on Amazon. Was also given maternity clothes, baby clothes and some bedding so saved quite a bit.

It's definitely worth signing up to Boots parenting club, you get a free change bag, a free MAM bottles, money off items and extra points when you buy baby items and lots of coupons. Always load your offers onto your Boots card as sometimes you get a nice savings surprise at the til.
Also make sure you pick up your Bounty packs as they have free samples and lots of coupons. I saved quite a bit using the coupons, for example Dettol wipes were on offer for £1, I had a £1 off coupon so had them for free. I also bought the huge size Fairy washing powder.. When I saw it on offer. Amazing how much your washing machine will be on!

Always keep an eye out for baby events at supermarkets and big shops because they have some really good offers and price check anything you buy because the prices can really vary.

Hope this helps, enjoy your pregnancy xx

*niptuckfan*

thanks folks for all the advice i will definately be using second hand etc. i think for me the more worry is the first year being off work and only being on statutory maternity pay, but i do feel better for starting saving and stockpiling

Kaye1

I follow the NCT website- their second hand sales are brilliant. They are held in a local school twice a year- baby carrier £5/stair gate £5. Clothes bundles toys etc.


Just put in your postcode and local ones will flag up.