At what point do you consider a relationship 'long term'?

Lunar_Eclipse

I think 'long term' is however long it takes a couple to think it that way. DH & I started discussing the long term after being together about 4 weeks. We were 18/19 and have now been together 25 years.

Some couples don't think 'long term' after several years of being a couple, but at the other extreme, one of my closest friends moved in with her now husband the day after they got together; she just never went home. She was 20 and he was about 25.

jackomdj

mellymoo74 wrote: »

OH and I lived together after 6 weeks have been married 11 years in August and together 13 since March.
So fast isn't always wrong.

Must be a string of us...

I met Oh in a nightclub, he came to visit for the weekend two weeks later, the following weekend he was getting posted (services) close to my town he brought his bags into the house rather than leave them in the car and never did end up moving to his accommodation. That was 19 years ago.

dirty_magic

marlot wrote: »

After 27 years, my wife still refers to her mother's as 'home', so not long term yet. Ironically, her mother has moved house, but the new one is now 'home'!

Haha I always call my mom's house home, it's just habit. I call my house home too though. I feel as much 'at home' at my mom's and nan's houses as I do in my own!

I think 18 months - 2 years is long term. It's surprising how fast the time goes though, I still don't think of one of my friends as in a long term relationship until I realised they'd been together for about 3 years recently!

System

onlyroz wrote: »

When your toothbrush is in their bathroom cupboard.

Mine's been there since the second week :eek:

Not sure i'd use that as a guide...its only been 4 months overall. To my my longest relationship was 3 1/2 years so around that marker is long term to me

fierystormcloud

I agree with the poster that said it depends on the age. LTR is 6 weeks when you're 15, but when you're 30, it would be 5 years!

I would say 4-5 years.

Anatidaephobia

I agree it depends on age but I would say that, regardless of age, the absolute minimum should be 1-2 years. Even at 17, a six month relationship might seem like an eternity but that doesn't mean it's long term.

I personally link long term with how serious the relationship is. So even if the relationship had been going for 5+ years, I wouldn't consider it long term if it seemed like it wasn't serious in other ways. I don't know if the actual definition of long term is supposed to include that sort of thing or if it should literally be defined on timescale though.

lostinrates

Anatidaephobia wrote: »

I the relationship is. So even if the relationship had been going for 5+ years, I wouldn't consider it long term if it seemed like it wasn't serious in other ways. I don't know if the actual definition of long term is supposed to include that sort of thing or if it should literally be defined on timescale though.

True. Five years seems very 'long' to me for a serious relationship that has but no commitment where both parties want it, for example. Or, for people in late twenties, early thirties, to not be thinking about kids if they want them. But would certainly agree, a long relationship is not necessarily serious.

catkins

Anatidaephobia wrote: »

I agree it depends on age but I would say that, regardless of age, the absolute minimum should be 1-2 years. Even at 17, a six month relationship might seem like an eternity but that doesn't mean it's long term.

I personally link long term with how serious the relationship is. So even if the relationship had been going for 5+ years, I wouldn't consider it long term if it seemed like it wasn't serious in other ways. I don't know if the actual definition of long term is supposed to include that sort of thing or if it should literally be defined on timescale though.

Many couples marry long before knowing each other 1-2 years though. It just depends on the couple and their relationship. As I say me and OH married after 5 months. I know couples that have been together 6 years or longer and yet still are not even engaged or, in some cases, living together.

Brighton_belle

catkins wrote: »

Many couples marry long before knowing each other 1-2 years though. It just depends on the couple and their relationship. As I say me and OH married after 5 months. I know couples that have been together 6 years or longer and yet still are not even engaged or, in some cases, living together.

But marrying after 5 months doesn't suddenly make your relationship long term. What it does do is declare your intention for it to be long term.

Anatidaephobia

catkins wrote: »

Many couples marry long before knowing each other 1-2 years though. It just depends on the couple and their relationship. As I say me and OH married after 5 months. I know couples that have been together 6 years or longer and yet still are not even engaged or, in some cases, living together.

True. My personal feeling would be that even getting married after a short time, such as only a few months, doesn't mean that the relationship is long term though because it hasn't yet lasted a long time. Hopefully it does go on to become long term and the marriage was just the beginning